Monthly Archives: October 2012
Everyone has something about them that makes them unique, or special – whether they know it or not. It can be something tremendously amazing, or something amusingly silly. Regardless of what it is, it sets you aside from other people. I have no idea what that little quality is for me, and I don’t exactly plan on trying to find out. The fact of the matter is that I like myself just how I am, so it doesn’t really matter to me when it comes to knowing. I know enough about myself, like how appreciating the little things is my secret to happiness. Hold on to that golden advice tightly, you’ll thank me for it later. Take a second and just think back on all the little things that have brought a smile to your face, especially when you were having a bad day. There are so many examples I could give you guys. Imagine if I had done what I was previously planning on doing and writing this post to Clique by Kanye West featuring Big Sean and Jay-Z. That little change would’ve made a big different in this monologue, and let’s be honest for a minute – if I did that, if you were having a bad day, you would totally laugh after that. A little nickname that stuck on to me for years: Candiibear. I’m sure you guys may have them, or may have them for someone else. Think about the people you love and the little things they do for you that just make you love them more. It’s pretty great. It brings a smile to your face without thinking about it. Think back to the last time you had a really good hug after a long day, the one with a little squeeze; that’s definitely a day-maker. When you are dealing with a blackout and you end up doing something childish and fun to pass the time and therefore get some family bonding time as a result. Are you thinking about it? Are you remembering? Are you smiling? I know. I’m glad. Smiling is more fun.
A girl who?
A girl whose passion is on the court
Whose life revolves around the game
A heart that’s round and orange
With every pulse it sounds like a dribble
A girl who cherishes family
Family values and family traditions
Whose inspiration is her Nana because
She took on the challenge of raising her
After raising her own
A girl who enjoys luxury and the high quality
Name brand this name brand that
But also appreciates the little things
And knows to take nothing for granted
A girl who’s humble, soft spoken but easy to like;
A girl with no exact blue print or destination but a good heart and good head on her shoulders.
A girl who believes in God but not in religion
How do you explain miracles?
Music gets her through those stressful days and tears through those hard times
But her best friend brings her through it all
A girl whose closet resembles Nike town;
And stomach resembles iHop and Halal
A girl who loves to go Kareeokeeing and drink apple juice
A girl who wants to create a get rich quick (who should of came up with silly bands) and dreams of going to the moon
Ice-skating would be fun too!
A girl named Domyae, whose motive is family, with a vivid imagination and acknowledges her imperfections; who lives life to the full extent and with no regrets
With the biggest smile and the most content feeling, I am happy to say I am this girl!
What can I say?
I find myself to be like any other person right now. The same habits, similar things that I enjoy are much like many other people.
It all starts on the best part of the week, when we’re done with school on Friday. Around 60 hours of whatever I want to waste it on.
When I finish school on Friday for the weekend, what do I do? Not work, of course.
Whether I get back late or sleep the day away, its 12 of the 60 hours gone.
On the following Saturday I find myself saying that I’m going to finish my work first and then enjoy the rest of the weekend. Of course, that never happens. I don’t know exactly where the time goes. Another 24 hours gone in a blink of an eye. On Sunday, I know I have the same feeling as many other people, where did my weekend go? Now I have to spend my day finishing all of my work. I plan it out and tell myself that I’m going to finish by 7. But too bad it’s too easy to get distracted. It always seems to be a nice day when I need to finish my work. I just look out my window and see Queens center mall and the nearby park and I lose my focus instantly. After an hour of doing nothing, I attempt to get back to work. But unfortunately theres lots of football to be watched on sunday. The giants at one hour, the jets at a different hour and then theres the primetime game “sunday night football”. All of that ends near 12. All of those sleepless nights are ones that I’d rather not recall. This vicious cycle goes on week after week and the loss of sleep eventually catches up to me, but luckily I’m in the middle of a change.
It was when I was in second grade when I got and shared my first computer with my sister. It was a Compaq computer, a company probably no one remembers anymore since it’s been taken over by many others over the years. The computer didn’t come with sound but that didn’t matter to me at the time. The first thing I did once windowsXP was installed was move the mouse towards the start button and clicked it. Clicked all programs, clicked the folder named Games, and opened up pinball.
I love games, maybe not all games but a good chunk of them. Before my parents bought a computer, I would watch my cousins play. Since my cousins lived in the apartment above mine I would go up there and watch them play Starcraft almost every day. If they weren’t playing when I visited them, I would literally take a nap and wait for them to start. But once I had my own computer I found my own games to play and because I couldn’t get a hold of starcraft since I highly doubted if my parents were going to buy it. Nevertheless, I still had fun without it. It was only until 2010 when Starcraft 2 was released and by then I did not need to ask permission to buy it. I was a very happy boy that day.
One thing that would complete my gaming crave is either a playstation or a Nds. Not everything can be played on the computer. I have always wanted either one of those but they cost a fortune though. It’s just the next best thing keeps coming. It was the gameboy advance, Nds now it’s the 3ds. Maybe one of these days I’ll finally settle for one and pray the next best thing doesn’t beat the 3ds.
I believe the greatest education is best acquired through experiences and journeys; which was the exact type of education I received last year. Normally, one goes straight to college after finishing their senior year, but in no means am I nor do I want to adhere to normal. Instead of going straight to college, I took off for a year and travelled 6,000 miles away from home to a foreign country with foreign people and foreign customs. I went to study religion and philosophy in Har Nof an extremely orthodox town located in Jerusalem, Israel. I had no idea what to expect or what would be expected of me. To say I had an unbelievable year would be a huge understatement; my year exceeded any possible expectations and not only did I experience an entirely new world, I experienced an entirely new me. Being 6,000 miles away, not speaking the language fluently and not having my parents bail me out of trouble, made the experience and my time being there that much better. I didn’t realize being thrown into a completely different environment and a different culture would actually make me responsible for my actions. That’s the thing about being so far away, away from home, away from what you are used to; you are forced to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
In that one year away, I learnt more and experienced life through actually living. I learnt about religion, about life , about philosophy. I travelled from the North of Israel all the way down to the Southern tip of Eilat that borders Jordan. While being in Eilat, I hiked a mountain that from the top of it you see Egypt, Syria and Jordan. I lived on a kibbutz and spent some time there. I spontaneously took a trip to Cyprus and Rhodes. What i am trying to get at is that when you are thrusted into an unknown world and culture, it forces one to be appreciative of what you have and get by by yourself. I did not have a car there I either took a public bus and got lost or hitchhiked with whomever (something i do not suggest unless you are in israel!). These experiences and journeys are ones that made me grow up and take responsibility for my own actions. I got into trouble and didn’t have my mom to bail me out, I got lost and didn’t have a phone to reach anyone. These experiences shaped the person I became and I learnt more about life and about myself then any classroom will ever teach me!
It feels as if all the sincerity has left me. My work is no longer a product of honesty but something that has been forced out of me. I don’t want to be here. The days bleed into each other and my thoughts of accomplishment disappear, I don’t know what can possible be the point anymore. Where did all the genuine go? I know its still in here, it must be. College hasn’t changed me. Why is that? Shouldn’t that be the point? It’s hard to put the blame on myself, I don’t want to. I refuse to. But it’s entirely my own fault. Repetition. This is all the same. These thoughts are put on repeat and blasted through the speakers of my shiny MacBook. This is filer: I am going to do as they do in the movies. Showcase my personality through a lens, one of many I might add. I don’t feel the need to make myself more interesting to you. If I did this would have gone down differently. You expected for this to go down differently but I’m not going to apologize. The way I choose to do these things, with meaning that speaks in false irony, is my choice. You don’t know what that means. The structure is undeniable but not because I choose for it to be, it just comes out that way. Just looks at all the eyes, lets revert our thoughts to Rimbaud. I thought it was a style at first. I had finally found my niche. That’s not the case. It’s a cage I cannot release myself from. I don’t want your help. I don’t need it. This is my fault and I have come to except it in the hopes that sincerity will come back to me.
Being happy, in a deeply real sense, I think comes with first recognizing who you are and embracing that. Being fake is a bad habit that I believe too many people today have, and so while the level of smiling may be higher than in my parents’ youth, the number of people today who are actually depressed is at a frighteningly high level. The first and second image on my collage sums up the way I feel about how you should go about things; just be real with yourself and others, and you won’t need to chase smiles.
Pokémon is a fantastically steady constant that I have had throughout my life. I don’t know that I was a particularly social person at a younger age, and I’m mostly to myself now, and the game pictured second in my collage is the first one I ever owned. That game helped spark the deep passion I have for video games today, and nothing gives me a rush of nostalgia quite like that game. Wherever I decide to go with my life, I know that I can always take a break from the real world and escape for a while.
I take great pride in my Israeli heritage, and few things are more important to me than that nation’s sovereignty and security. I may be a New Yorker and an American both at heart and on paper, but the home of my ancestors is Israel, and it is important to me that my children have that opportunity open to them. Every member of my extended family and my parents has fought for the Israeli army, and the sacrifices they have all made to keep that nation free I do not take for granted. The fourth and fifth pictures of my collage communicate the importance of politics in my life.
Expanding my knowledge and exploring the world around me is what drives me. I always feel the need to keep moving forward, to becoming a better, more educated person. Art, in whatever form it comes, often inspires me to further pursue that goal I just stated above. The limited amount of traveling that I’ve done over the past few years has only sharpened the passion I have for history and the world around me, and the last image is that of Grindelwald in Switzerland, which I hope to visit sometime soon. The sixth image of Plato and Socrates sums up my love of study and education, and the seventh image is an album cover of a music producer whose work I listen to as I do my own work.
I’m sorry for being late.
Since I was an infant, I have listened to music, because my parents enjoy listening to it, including classical and many other genres. I think that is why I love music so much, both listening to and playing it. To me, music is one of the only things that can get me away from the stress I get. It also is a thing that has connected me to the closest friends I have now.
I have grown up listening mostly to Korean music because I lived in Korea until I was 12. I still often search for new Korean songs online, and enjoy listening to it. I also love to listen to American music. What I usually listen to are the old soft songs, since I like to relax listening to music. However, I sometimes have to listen to loud music to get pumped up, since I tend to be too relaxed and get lazy.
The list below is the songs that I enjoy listening to, that describe a little bit of who I am.
The first five are American songs , and the last five are Korean.
Billy Joel – And So It Goes
Eagles – Desperado
Maroon5 – Sunday Morning
Boys II Men – End Of The Road
Bruno Mars – Lazy Song
PSY – Gangnam Style
Dynamic Duo – Ring My Bell
Urban Zakapa – My Love
10cm – It’s Snowing
J Rabbit – Asking for Tomorrow
1. HIV Song By Ween: I chose this song because it only has two lyrics and doesn’t say much. I don’t say much.
2. Yonkers By Tyler The Creator: I saw in an interview that Tyler wrote the song so that every pair of lines contradict each other. I tend to contradict myself in a lot of things in every day situations, leaving me with no opinion.
3. Make Peace and Be Free By Perfect Confusion: The song describes my average day. I wake up and go do what I have to do. Not much else goes on.
4. Live For the Day By Perfect Confusion: This song describes the way I wish I lived my life. Doing more vibrant things would probably give me more of a personality.
5. Thrift Shop By Macklemore feat. Wanz: I find this song really funny. My friend described him as “the definition of swag” and stuff that includes swag is just funny to me. It shows my sense of humor.
6. Flow By Cage the Elephant: The song says “Looking out a window, wonder how it came to be”. Sometimes I wonder about how things are made and spend time on wikipedia trying to figure it out.
7. Eyes Closed By The Narrative: This song is talking about a daydream someone is having. I spend a lot of time in class and out daydreaming.
8. In One Ear By Cage the Elephant: This song is about not caring about what people think about the things you do and doing them because you like to. I like to think I do this, but I’m not sure.
9. Four Chords By The Classic Crime: I want to do something with my life. Leave something behind in the world before I die, so at least one person remembers I existed.
10. Loser By Beck: This is just the type of music I like. It has a unique sound and it’s catchy to me. That is all.