SCENE ONE
{JULIANNA, MOLIERE, ROSSETTI, KAFKA, TAGORE}

JULIANNA
Kafka, Moliere, Rossetti, Tagore! Go!
Find out which of you has that textual glow.
Expose the faulty families of your peers,
Or suffer defeat and your worst fears.
Answer us this: only one question
When I say “family,” what’s your impression?

MOLIERE
A complicated center of living.
Though wracked with wrongs it remains forgiving.

KAFKA
Unless, of course, parents are far removed
From child’s pain, as Gregor sure proved.

ROSSETTI
Which is why it’s siblings that remain strong
When life becomes no more than a sad song.

TAGORE
Your views on family are stuck in the past!
Without father or sister, it will last.

JULIANNA
I see conflict between you four.
Quickly now, which one do you all adore?
The parent, the sibling, or some other?
Let’s begin with the matriarch: Mother.

 SCENE TWO
{MOLIERE, KAFKA}

KAFKA
A mother’s love can only go so far,
When there’s too much change, their presence can scar
The child they love and hold so closely.
Gregor’s transformation was so grossly
Abhorrent to his respectful mother
It was almost like he was another
Person – no, bug – in her life.
The man may suffer, but it’s all her strife!

MOLIERE
A mother can’t dote twenty-four seven.
But if they could? Oh, manna from heaven!
Elmire loves her brood; she risks her good name
To save Orgon and kids from wretched shame.
Any mom willing to flirt with a thief
Is but a firm and strong family tree leaf.

KAFKA
You say then, my friend, that mothers are there
For the children they laboriously bare?

MOLIERE
Indeed.

KAFKA
                You contradict yourself greatly.
Have you not glanced their lineage lately?
Elmire is not the true mother at all!
“Loves her brood?” Well if that isn’t some gaul.
That brood is not hers; she’s just a filler
In a family lacking a true pillar
Of strength, wisdom, love, or even truth.
Look at Damis, the hotheaded, poor youth.
Or Mariane. The girl has no back bone.
Clearly their “mother” has left them alone.

MOLIERE
Damis and Mariane are much younger
Than your Gregor. A man sick with regret.
Didn’t he know they weren’t in debt?
His parents, that is, were living quite nice.
Make me pity his troubles? Sir, no dice!

KAFKA
All that you’ve done is strengthen my point here.
If Gregor was told they were in the clear,
He never would have turned into a bug.
But Mama and Papa would only shrug,
Watching their son work day in and day out
In a job that left him empty throughout.

MOLIERE
You reject the bond the family holds, then?

KAFKA
I’ve said it one, but I’ll say it again:
At the end of the day, family won’t save
You. They may even lead you to your grave.

MOLIERE
What about Gregor’s sister, does she count?

SCENE THREE
{KAFKA, ROSSETTI}

ROSSETTI
Allow me to shed light on this account.
The only kind person to Gregor was
His young sister, so let us give applause
To the girl who showed compassion to him
When Gregor’s whole world turned darkly and grim.
Alas, his stubbornness, and mental break
Prevented her from fixing his brain ache.
The bond was there. Her violin was proof,
Of his goodwill towards her. That was no spoof!
Had Gregor not lost it completely, I
Submit that his sister would likely try
To convince their parents to see the light;
For after all, a sister’s a delight
To have as both a friend and ally in
The trials and tribulations of sin.

KAFKA
I would have to agree with you on that.
Gregor was weak, lying like a doormat.
Perhaps if he didn’t exclude Grete
In his inner-turmoil… he’d live today.

ROSSETTI
Don’t you see now, why I champion sisters?
Come one, come all! Let’s see my resistors!

SCENE FOUR
{ROSSETTI, MOLIERE}

MOLIERE
In that perverse poem that you speak of,
Is there any other relative love?

ROSSETTI
Why bother, when a sister’s all you need?
Orgon’s large family can only succeed
After tiring, extensive tricks and wits.
If you weren’t persistent, they’d call “Quits!”
Way earlier in the show.

MOLIERE
                                                Excuse me?
I’m finding it hard to not disagree
With the libel you’re spewing on my play.
Orgon’s clan is a model I portray
In text to prove how families work as one
At the end of the day. Truth will be won
By those who trust their family to side
With them, even when their thinking’s aside.
Why limit those who can help you the most?
You yourself wrote the answer here. The ghost
Of Jeanie! All alone in the world?

ROSSETTI
                                                                 Ah!
Turn my work against me? That’s the last straw!

SCENE FIVE
{MOLIERE, TAGORE}

TAGORE
Are we done with the frivolous fighting?
The family’s love is all in my writing.
But I go one step further than you three:
Family means anything. Do you agree?

MOLIERE
To an extent, I see what you may mean.
Elmire’s not blood, but it’s wrong to demean
Her standing as mother to Orgon’s kin.

TAGORE
Your admission proves that I should then win.
My tale shows love lasting through time and space,
Or bloodlines even. Think of Mini’s face
When she sees her “friend” after years away!
The bond they share could not be led astray.
No real father around, she has two
“Dads” in her life – they are tried and true
Examples of family redefining
Who’s in and who’s not. Now not confining
Itself to the people you’re given.

SCENE SIX
{TAGORE, MOLIERE, JULIANNA}

JULIANNA
Can any of you beat his words? Give in!
Look at you all, lost for words to say now.
Mr. Tagore, you win. Congrats, sir!

TAGORE
Wow!

JULIANNA
Now, Head Thinker. Choose decapitation
Endangerment for two. Please take action
Soon, before we run out of good rhymes.

TAGORE
Alright then. I have noticed that sometimes
The best people to choose are those
Who are most likely to overexpose
Their capabilities of winning lots
Of debates. These are in everyone’s thoughts:
Moliere and Kafka, I have to choose you
I hope you both understand…

MOLIERE
                                                         Oh. We do.

JULIANNA
Excellent! Then shall we go to Act Three?
I’ll admit, this nice play fills me with glee!