HouseAuthors, please enter the Challenge Tower to begin the Head Thinker Challenge. Your Ideal this week is: Female Equality/Societal Views of Women.
As was done last week, our expert team of literary researchers have determined which HouseAuthors are most capable of performing well in this challenge are: Charles Baudelaire, Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, Christina Rossetti, Juana Inés de la Cruz, Rabindranath Tagore, and Virginia Woolf. Franz Kafka, Herman Melville, and Lu Xun are banned from competing this week. Furthermore, this debate shall be done in three stages. In the first round, three groups of two HouseAuthors will put forth a line from one of their texts that they feel best describes their attitudes towards women. I will judge their submissions and choose the winners from each pair. The winners of that round will move on to an instant elimination round, with each of the three remaining HouseAuthors voting to eliminate one of the other two competitors. There will be no tiebreaker, so some agreement must be reached before the challenge can continue. In the third and final round, the last two HouseAuthors will debate one another, and I will again choose a winner.
LET THE DEBATE BEGIN!!!
ROUND ONE: Juana Inés de la Cruz VS Rabindranath Tagore — Virginia Woolf VS Jean-Baptise Poquelin — Christina Rossetti VS Charles Baudelaire
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Sor Juana: “Leave off soliciting her fall / and then indeed. more justified, / that eagerness you might accuse / of the woman who besieges you” (Philosophical Satire: pg. 264)
Tagore: “Chidam felt that a wife as nimble and sharp as Chandara could not be wholly trusted, and Chandara felt that all eyes were on her husband–that if she didn’t bind him tightly to her she might one day loose him,” (Punishment: pg. 896)
Julianna: As if there was any contest here. Mr. Tagore, you rationalize a marriage as strong only if the “sharp” wife is wrought with worry that her husband may leave her for another. We are not creatures of obsession! If anything it’s men who should be worried that we’ll leave them! Sor Juana, you speak nothing but truths. By trapping us in an environment where we are doomed to fail in at least some aspect of the patriarchal society, men should realistically forfeit the right to complain about us. If men just left us well enough alone, then they can have all the right to criticize us if we ever do falter. Not that we ever will, of course. Sor Juana, you shall move on to the next round.
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Woolf: “For if she begins to tell the truth, the figure in the looking-glass shrinks; his fitness for life is diminished” (A Room of One’s Own: pg. 358).
Molière: “So don’t be scandalized. I must be free / To flirt. Clearly, that’s what it’s going to take / To prove to you your holy man’s a fake” (Tartuffe: pg. 183, Act IV, Sc. V)
Julianna: Is a woman nothing more than a mischievous sex object for you, Molière? Elmire could have had countless other options to expose Tartuffe’s treachery, and yet you regulate her to using her body to tempt the hypocrite out of him. Flirting is not our only weapon, do not be mistaken. Ah, but then, Ms. Woolf’s text makes your assertion much more understandable. Women, to you, must be sexually cunning so that man can rise above their seductions and make themselves appear virtuous and clean. Tell me, if Elmire simply used her brains and her words to trick the truth out of Tartuffe, do you honestly believe your play would have been popular with the men in your society? Or would they be frightened by a woman who can conquer without stooping to such physical acts? Ms. Woolf, you shall move on to the next round.
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Rossetti: “‘For there is no friend like a sister / In calm or stormy weather; / […] To strengthen whilst one stands'” (Goblin Market: pg. 504).
Baudelaire: “–And you, in your turn, will be rotten as this: / Horrible, filthy, undone, / Oh sun of my nature and star of my eyes, / My passion, my angel, in one!” (The Carcass: pg. 472)
Julianna: I’m surprised by you, Ms. Rossetti. You submit an assertion that the only strong bond a woman can have is her own biological sister. We are all in this struggle together, why do you limit us? Mr. Baudelaire, on the other hand, proves to be quite the endearing romantic – and I feel touched that he expresses that his love goes beyond physical attraction, not caring that the object of his affection will become nothing more then a rotting corpse. Mr. Baudelaire, you shall move on to the next round.
*************************ROUND TWO*************************
Baudelaire: Is there any real need for a vote to be taken at this point? My two competitors have made their dislike of me clear since the day we came here. It’ll be no surprise who they vote to eliminate from this round.
Sor Juana: Ah, you finally appear to be catching on.
Baudelaire: The best of luck to both you ladies. I truly mean it.
Woolf: Come now, Sor Juana. Let’s find out which one of us is the real “champion of woman-kind.”
*************************ROUND THREE*************************
Sor Juana: How would you like to begin, Virginia? We are both strong advocates for female equality, how are we to determine which of us has the “better” message?
Woolf: That’s the same dilemma I’ve come too. I do not wish to attempt to invalidate any of the claims you’ve made about how men treat us. To do so would, in a way, let them win the war. There are no men in this battle between us, and as you say, if no man is around to criticize our fall, then it will make it that much easier for them to assume we cannot handle the world on our own.
Sor Juana: How then, do we proceed?
Woolf: The way we agreed to earlier this week, if a situation like this ever came out way.
Sor Juana: Are you positive? As right as you are, I would still very much enjoy a battle of wits with you.
Woolf: I think we both know who would win in the end, anyway. I concede defeat.
Baudelaire: Are you serious?!
Sor Juana: She has spoken. Sit down.
Julianna: Oh my! What a surprising change of events! Though there’s no rule that allows me to force you to to debate one another, I do hope you’ll feel guilty for barring our viewers from seeing the now-cancelled argument. Alas, I can do nothing but officially declare Sor Juana this week’s Head Thinker!