My biggest concern is the opening paragraph. I am afraid that it is not attention-grabbing and visual enough to engage the reader. In my head, I pictured a really futuristic classroom and I dont know if my opening paragraph portrays my idea. Another concern I have with my opening paragraph is that it might be too long and people will be looking for the thesis statement when it is not there. My second paragraph contains my thesis but I hope my readers will be patient enough to reach it.
Another concern is the development of my ideas. I need to make my point clearer and find quotes that strongly back up my point. I have to expand my ideas so that I can explain my ideas better to the reader. My issue right now is length but I know that would not be an issue as I expand my ideas further.