Paper 2

Knowing that my first grade for my first paper wasn’t so good, I’m having a much harder time trying to revise my second paper. I find it hard to write a good thesis statement with evidence to back up my ideas. Since I’m planning to say that having so much technology can be bad, it would be harder for me to back it up. Trying to make the paper interesting with many details is not easy at all. Describing the classroom is also another difficulty I’m facing. I don’t know how to bring out my opinions for this topic. Though we have a variety of sources we can use to help us, I find incorporating the book and poems we’ve read hard to use.

I hope that I can create an interesting paper explaining my thoughts clearly. I need to make sure i can identify my own thesis and keep asking myself questions like “So what”.  Hopefully I can use less summary and more analysis of the evidence. Most importantly I hope I can bring about a good argument in my paper. However, my main focus will be creating my thesis since it is the main concern in any paper. I need to make sure it is concise, detailed, and clear. I hope we can all create a good paper Professor Kaufman is looking for!

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3 Responses to Paper 2

  1. David Heo says:

    I’m on the same boat as Mimi! I’m having difficulty writing the thesis statement of what the classroom should feel and look.
    But maybe you can bring your opinion when you are describing what the classroom should look like when technology is out of the picture. I mean you can argue why technology is bad at first and then start writing your idea of the 21st century classroom.

  2. Mimi Lau says:

    sounds like a very good idea thanks for the suggestion! (:

  3. erica kaufman says:

    David, Mimi–Why not take this as an opportunity to have fun–write about the place you’ve always wanted to learn! Think about painting a picture of a classroom you love, but using words instead of brush strokes! EJK

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