Categories
Unit 3

Final

Robert Torres

Prof. Ding

English 2150

Grief is a universal human experience that emerges differently in every person, leading to a spectrum of different responses and results. This essay will offer a concise comparison of the viewpoints expressed in articles like “Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better” from The Grief Toolbox and “Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” from Heart In Diamond, along with a personal account of the journey of transformation that followed the passing of my beloved grandfather.

Personal development following a significant loss is not a universal experience; rather, it varies greatly depending on each person’s personal grieving process. While some people may find comfort and meaning in their spiritualism, others may find increased grit or a sharper understanding of how precious life is. These unique responses frequently result in unforeseen human evolutions, whether it is the discovery of hidden skills or the strengthening of bonds among individuals who have experienced loss together.

The sense of loss triggers a complex mix of emotions, such as anger, depression, and bitterness. It’s important to remember that these negative emotions, though inevitable in the early stages of grief, can eventually give way to positive outcomes over time. When my grandfather passed away, my initial reaction was to shell up emotionally and essentially block out the “noise”. However, after I got past the “initial stages of grief”, I began to naturally see my resilience build up over time and make me a stronger individual overall. This resilience was not merely an inherent quality but was cultivated through the external support I received during my grieving process. The understanding and care from my family, friends, and even professionals played a crucial role in helping me cope with my loss and facilitated my personal growth. Grief counselor Paul Parkin emphasizes the power of allowing oneself to not only mourn the loss but also celebrate the life of the departed, which can aid in moving forward (1.2). As someone who has experienced significant loss, I can attest that personal growth can indeed arise from grief.

Denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance are the “five stages of grief” according to the SIUE counseling framework (1.6). This model demonstrates how grief is a complicated interaction of feelings rather than an event that happens in an orderly fashion. As I went through these stages, I recognized the complex nature of my emotions. Denial served as a protective shield, shielding me from the shock of my grandfather’s death. Anger surged within me, a forceful emotion that, although unsettling, paved the way for healing. Bargaining followed, a desperate plea for a reality different from the one I was facing. Depression enveloped me, emphasizing the profound sorrow of my loss. Eventually, acceptance emerged, not as a joyous revelation, but as an acknowledgment of a new reality. My personal journey through these stages helped me understand the complexity of grief and the multifaceted emotions it brings.

The Mayo Clinic (1.5) defines “complicated grief” as a long-lasting, significant form of grief that interferes with day-to-day functioning. This kind emphasizes the need for professional attention, particularly if grief’s intensity doesn’t lessen a year after the loss event. It very much resembles the symptoms of major depression. Stating the symptoms of possible emotional negligence and how raising awareness for this emphasizes the significance of early intervention and the effect that it can hold if not given the proper attention. On their website, they state, “Complicated grief can affect you physically, mentally, and socially. Without appropriate treatment, complications may include Suicidal thoughts or behaviors, Anxiety including PTSD, and Significant sleep disturbances” (1.5) among other complications. They are trying to create awareness of how serious this can be.

While there is no denying that sorrow can have detrimental impacts on mental health, some experts argue that, when handled in a healthy way, sadness can promote perseverance as well as individual growth. Theoretically, facing a significant trauma, such as the loss of a loved one, can lead to a “greater appreciation of life, improved personal relationships, increased personal strength, changed priorities, and a richer existential and spiritual life” (1.7) Dr. Richard Tedeschi has been a pioneer in the study of growth after traumatic events. The concept that enormous gain can result from tremendous pain is old even though the term is new. Researchers offer an outline for comprehending the posttraumatic growth process in which personal characteristics, support and communication, and, most importantly, major mental processing are challenged or overlooked by the traumatic events, playing a significant part (1.7).  Additionally, it is suggested that posttraumatic development is an ongoing process rather than a fixed result and that it interacts with life wisdom and the formation of the life narrative.

It’s crucial to remember that these changes usually take time to manifest and are often recognized only after one has moved through the initial phases of grief.  While for some people personal growth may come from grief, it is important to note that we may all have Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but not have what is called Posttraumatic Growth (PTG) (1.3), although both stem from an event that caused us severe pain, PTG is the positive psychological change that some individuals experience after a life crisis or traumatic event. Remember to note that this doesn’t numb or intensify grief, but rather PTG arises from the coping mechanisms individuals use to deal with grief, co-existing with the pain and hardship of the loss. As mentioned before, many people may break through and become better people, but what about those who don’t? Many people take a turn for the worst and life’s hardships become too much and force them to be on a lifestyle that has them dependent on drugs, self-inflicted pain, or even a co-dependency of being with somebody just to not be alone.

Dr. Pauline Boss, also who popularized the phrase “ambiguous loss,” offers an additional perspective (1.8).  Boss contends that while such losses (such as a family member who goes missing or develops Alzheimer’s) can be very difficult, they can also result in improved coping mechanisms, adaptability, and even creative thinking in handling hard emotional situations. Her research suggests that going through a grieving process, particularly one that is ambiguous, can help people refine their mental and emotional capabilities. 

However, nothing is worse than the unexpected loss of a parent or child specifically can cause a spiraling depression that may cost somebody their life. In many families, the death of a parent means increased pressure for the grieving child to take on the responsibilities of the dead parent and isolate them from friends. From my experience, I felt like I had to take on the burden of responsibilities left behind by my grandfather. Leaving me to reinforce the statement “I grew up too soon”, leaving me to feel as if I did not get the chance to enjoy childhood like my peers and others did. On top of that, this grief at such a young age could result in the child’s poor psychosocial well-being, changes in behavior, an increase in stress, and sleep disturbances​​. (1.4)

While the articles and the personal narrative each argue for the potential of personal growth through grief, they employ different narrative structures, emotional appeals, and modes of establishing credibility. The Grief Toolbox utilizes a direct, expository narrative, while Heart In Diamond and the personal narrative share a more emotive storytelling approach. Each offers valuable perspectives on the transformative power of grief, demonstrating the multifaceted nature of this universal human experience.

The aftermath of a loss can spark significant changes in a person’s character, whether those changes are related to a person’s improved spirituality, resilience, or ability for valuing the present. These developments do not, however, lessen the sorrow of loss, and those who are mourning have to deal with a wide range of complicated emotions.  Even as personal growth emerges from grief, it co-exists with pain and distress, which is a testament to the human spirit’s amazing resiliency. The fact that not everyone undergoes posttraumatic development (PTG) must be emphasized. Some people may experience serious consequences after the loss, such as dependency, self-inflicted harm, or sinking into depression.

In conclusion, for some people, like me, the aftermath of a loss can spark significant changes in a person’s character. These developments do not, however, lessen the sorrow of loss, and those who are mourning have to deal with a wide range of complicated emotions. Even as personal growth emerges from grief, it co-exists with pain and distress, which is a testament to the human spirit’s amazing resiliency. The fact that not everyone undergoes posttraumatic development (PTG) must be emphasized. Some people may experience serious consequences after the loss, such as dependency, self-inflicted harm, or sinking into depression. It’s essential to remember that both reactions are valid and that personal growth doesn’t invalidate the pain of loss. In a world where loss is an unavoidable part of life, understanding the potential pathways of personal growth and acknowledging the unique nature of grief can help in nurturing empathy and providing support to those navigating their journeys of loss. The acknowledgment of “the five stages of grief” should be beneficial for those who struggle to express and verbalize emotions, allowing them to identify with one or multiple stages during grief. Now that they have identified the emotion and verbalized how they feel, the likelihood of getting help from others or even giving themselves help through self-awareness increases dramatically. Through this exploration of grief and growth, we can better comprehend the human capacity to transform the pain from grief into strength, resilience, and genuine personal development.

Works Cited

“Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better.” The Grief Toolbox, www.thegrieftoolbox.com/article/grieving-well-how-grief-has-changed-me-better. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.1)

“Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” Heart In Diamond, www.heart-in-diamond.com/cremation-diamonds/interviews/is-personal-growth-following-grief-possible.html. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.2) 

“Posttraumatic Growth after Loss.” What’s Your Grief, 2023, https://whatsyourgrief.com/posttraumatic-growth-after-loss/ Accessed 10 August 2023. (1.3)

“Parenting For The Brain.” How Does The Death Of A Parent Affect A Child,

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/death-of-a-parent/ Accessed 10 August 2023. (1.4)

“Complicated Grief.” Mayo Clinic, 13 Dec. 2022, www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374#:~:text=Complicated%20grief%20can%20affect%20you,Suicidal%20thoughts%20or%20behaviors. (1.5)

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.siue.edu/counseling/pdf/stages%20of%20grief.pdf (1.6)

“Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence,” Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01. (1.7)

“Ambiguous Loss – Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief.” – Pauline Boss | Harvard University Press,” Accessed 14 Aug. 2023.  www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674003811. (1.8)

Categories
Unit 3

Annotated Bibliography

Robert Torres

Prof. Ding

English 2150

Annotated Bibliography

“Parenting For The Brain.” How Does The Death Of A Parent Affect A Child, https://www.parentingforbrain.com/death-of-a-parent/ Accessed 10 August 2023 

Purpose: To examine the psychological impact of a parent’s death on a child.

Summary: The article discusses the various emotional and psychological effects a child may experience after the loss of a parent, such as grief, depression, and changes in behavior.

Audience: Parents, caregivers, teachers, and professionals who work with children. 

Relevance: The article provides insight into the specific impact of grief on children, contributing to the broader understanding of the effects of grief on mental health. 

Special Features: None.

Strengths/Weaknesses: The article offers a detailed and focused exploration of the topic, but it may be limited in to only the effects on children.

“Complicated Grief.” Mayo Clinic, 13 Dec. 2022, www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374#:~:text=Complicated%20grief%20can%20affect%20you,Suicidal%20thoughts%20or%20behaviors. 

Purpose: To explain how complicated grief really is and its impact on mental health. 

Summary: The article defines complicated grief, explores its symptoms, and discusses its effects on an individual’s mental and emotional well-being.

Audience: People experiencing grief, as well as mental health professionals.

Relevance: The article provides a comprehensive overview of complicated grief, which is directly related to the research question on how grief affects mental health. 

Special Features: Provides detailed information on complicated grief, including symptoms, causes, and treatment options. 

Strengths/Weaknesses: The article is well-structured and informative but may focus primarily on those who already need medical attention, as opposed to those beginning the journey of grief.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.siue.edu/counseling/pdf/stages%20of%20grief.pdf 

Purpose: To present the stages of grief as conceptualized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. 

Summary: The article describes the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – and explains their significance in the grieving process. 

Audience: General readers and individuals seeking to understand the grieving process. Relevance: The article contributes to the understanding of the emotional and psychological processes involved in grief, which may impact mental health. 

Special Features: Comes from a snippet in a book

Strengths/Weaknesses: The article provides a concise and clear explanation of the stages of grief and briefly explores how these stages might specifically impact mental health.

“Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence,” Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01. 

Purpose: To introduce the concept of posttraumatic growth and provide backup evidence supporting its occurrence. 

Summary: The article presents the theory of posttraumatic growth, which suggests that individuals can experience positive psychological changes after facing highly challenging life events, such as the loss of a loved one. The article also reviews research studies that have investigated the occurrence and predictors of posttraumatic growth. 

Audience: Researchers, psychologists, and professionals interested in trauma and growth. 

Relevance: The article offers an alternative perspective on the impact of grief, suggesting that it can also lead to positive psychological changes. 

Special Features: Provides a comprehensive overview of the theory and evidence of posttraumatic growth. 

Strengths/Weaknesses: The article is well-researched and offers a different perspective on grief. However, it doesn’t really directly address the effects of grief on mental health.

“Ambiguous Loss – Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief.” – Pauline Boss | Harvard University Press,” Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674003811. 

Purpose: To explore the concept of “ambiguous loss” and its impact on grief and mental health. 

Summary: The book discusses ambiguous loss, a type of loss characterized by a lack of clarity or closure, such as the loss of a loved one who is physically present but psychologically absent. The author explains how this type of loss can complicate the grieving process and affect mental health. 

Audience: Researchers, psychologists, and individuals interested in the concept of ambiguous loss. 

Relevance: The book provides valuable insights into the unique challenges of ambiguous loss and its effects on grief and mental health. 

Special Features: Offers a detailed exploration of ambiguous loss, including case studies and coping strategies. 

Strengths/Weaknesses: The book is well written and informative but may be limited in scope to the specific concept of ambiguous loss.

“Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better.” The Grief Toolbox, www.thegrieftoolbox.com/article/grieving-well-how-grief-has-changed-me-better. Accessed 30 July 2023. 

Purpose: An exploration of how grief can change an individual for the better. 

Summary: The article shares personal stories of how grieving can lead to personal growth, empathy, and a deeper appreciation for life. 

Audience: Individuals who have experienced grief or loss. 

Relevance: Provides firsthand accounts of personal growth following grief. 

Special Features: The article offers practical strategies for knowing how to handle grieving well. 

Strengths/Weaknesses: The article is relatable and offers a positive perspective on grief but lacks much evidence.

“Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” Heart In Diamond, www.heart-in-diamond.com/cremation-diamonds/interviews/is-personal-growth-following-grief-possible.html. Accessed 30 July 2023. 

Purpose: To discuss the possibility of personal growth after experiencing grief. 

Summary: The article includes interviews with people who have experienced grief and discuss how they found personal growth and transformation through their loss. 

Audience: Those who have lost a loved one and are seeking ways to cope and grow. 

Relevance: Provides insights into the ways grief can help foster personal growth. 

Special Features: Features personal interviews that add depth to the discussion. Strengths/Weaknesses: Offers valuable insights but may not provide a true overview of the subject.

“Posttraumatic Growth after Loss.” What’s Your Grief, 2023, https://whatsyourgrief.com/posttraumatic-growth-after-loss/ Accessed 10 August 2023. 

Purpose: To explore posttraumatic growth following loss. 

Summary: The article discusses the concept of posttraumatic growth, the positive psychological change that can occur following a traumatic event, and how it can be achieved after experiencing loss. 

Audience: Individuals who have experienced loss or trauma, who may be feeling stuck where they are. 

Relevance: The article directly addresses the research question, offering insights into the psychological growth that can occur after loss. 

Special Features: None. 

Strengths/Weaknesses: The article provides a comprehensive overview of posttraumatic growth but may not delve deeply into the mechanics of achieving it.

Categories
Unit 3

Draft

Robert Torres

Prof. Ding

English 2150

Grief is a universal human experience that emerges differently in every person, leading to a spectrum of different responses and results. This essay will offer a concise comparison of the viewpoints expressed in articles like “Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better” from The Grief Toolbox and “Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” from Heart In Diamond, along with a personal account of the journey of transformation that followed the passing of my beloved grandfather.

Personal development following a significant loss is not a universal experience; rather, it varies greatly depending on each person’s personal grieving process. While some people may find comfort and meaning in their spiritualism, others may find increased grit or a sharper understanding of how precious life is. These unique responses frequently result in unforeseen human evolutions, whether it is the discovery of hidden skills or the strengthening of bonds among individuals who have experienced loss together.

The sense of loss triggers a complex mix of emotions, such as anger, depression, and bitterness. It’s important to remember that these negative emotions, though inevitable in the early stages of grief, can eventually give way to positive outcomes over time. When my grandfather passed away, my initial reaction was to shell up emotionally and essentially block out the “noise”. However, after I got past the “initial stages of grief”, I began to naturally see my resilience build up over time and make me a stronger individual overall. Grief counselor Paul Parkin emphasizes the power of allowing oneself to not only mourn the loss but also celebrate the life of the departed, which can aid in moving forward (1.2). As someone who has experienced significant loss, I can attest that personal growth can indeed arise from grief. The journey through grief can result in increased patience, kindness, acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude, among other positive traits. Seeing the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel” isn’t easy when all you see is darkness, but as difficult as it may be, being patient with not only your environment is crucial to the healing process.  This growth, though unexpected, is a testament to the human capacity to evolve and adapt in the face of suffering 

Denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance are the “five stages of grief” according to the SIUE counseling framework (1.6).  This model demonstrates how grief is a complicated interaction of feelings rather than an event that happens in an orderly fashion.  Denial serves as a defense mechanism against shock, while rage promotes healing, bargaining displays efforts to deal with suffering, depression emphasizes the sorrow of loss, and acceptance—while not always leading to happiness—is an acknowledgment of a new reality (1.6). The different effects that each stage has on mental health highlight how grief’s effects are not predictable. Allowing yourself to feel all 5 stages should be emphasized, as some people only allow themselves to experience 1 or 2 stages, causing the other stages to present themselves at the worst times or come out in unhealthy outbursts.

The Mayo Clinic (1.5) defines “complicated grief” as a long-lasting, significant form of grief that interferes with day-to-day functioning. This kind emphasizes the need for professional attention, particularly if grief’s intensity doesn’t lessen a year after the loss event. It very much resembles the symptoms of major depression. Stating the symptoms of possible emotional negligence and how raising awareness for this emphasizes the significance of early intervention and the effect that it can hold if not given the proper attention. On their website, they state, “Complicated grief can affect you physically, mentally, and socially. Without appropriate treatment, complications may include Suicidal thoughts or behaviors, Anxiety including PTSD, and Significant sleep disturbances” (1.5) among other complications. They are trying to create awareness of how serious this can be.

While there is no denying that sorrow can have detrimental impacts on mental health, some experts argue that, when handled in a healthy way, sadness can promote perseverance as well as individual growth. Theoretically, facing a significant trauma, such as the loss of a loved one, can lead to a “greater appreciation of life, improved personal relationships, increased personal strength, changed priorities, and a richer existential and spiritual life” (1.7) Dr. Richard Tedeschi has been a pioneer in the study of growth after traumatic events. The concept that enormous gain can result from tremendous pain is old even though the term is new. Researchers offer an outline for comprehending the posttraumatic growth process in which personal characteristics, support and communication, and, most importantly, major mental processing are challenged or overlooked by the traumatic events, playing a significant part (1.7).  Additionally, it is suggested that posttraumatic development is an ongoing process rather than a fixed result and that it interacts with life wisdom and the formation of the life narrative.

It’s crucial to remember that these changes usually take time to manifest and are often recognized only after one has moved through the initial phases of grief.  While for some people personal growth may come from grief, it is important to note that we may all have Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but not have what is called Posttraumatic Growth (PTG) (1.3), although both stem from an event that caused us severe pain, PTG is the positive psychological change that some individuals experience after a life crisis or traumatic event. Remember to note that this doesn’t numb or intensify grief, but rather PTG arises from the coping mechanisms individuals use to deal with grief, co-existing with the pain and hardship of the loss. As mentioned before, many people may break through and become better people, but what about those who don’t? Many people take a turn for the worst and life’s hardships become too much and force them to be on a lifestyle that has them dependent on drugs, self-inflicted pain, or even a co-dependency of being with somebody just to not be alone.

Dr. Pauline Boss, also who popularized the phrase “ambiguous loss,” offers an additional perspective (1.8).  Boss contends that while such losses (such as a family member who goes missing or develops Alzheimer’s) can be very difficult, they can also result in improved coping mechanisms, adaptability, and even creative thinking in handling hard emotional situations. Her research suggests that going through a grieving process, particularly one that is ambiguous, can help people refine their mental and emotional capabilities. 

However, nothing is worse than the unexpected loss of a parent or child specifically can cause a spiraling depression that may cost somebody their life. In many families, the death of a parent means increased pressure for the grieving child to take on the responsibilities of the dead parent and isolate them from friends. From my experience, I felt like I had to take on the burden of responsibilities left behind by my grandfather. Leaving me to reinforce the statement “I grew up too soon”, leaving me to feel as if I did not get the chance to enjoy childhood like my peers and others did. On top of that, this grief at such a young age could result in the child’s poor psychosocial well-being, changes in behavior, an increase in stress, and sleep disturbances​​. (1.4)

In conclusion, while the articles and the personal narrative each argue for the potential of personal growth through grief, they employ different narrative structures, emotional appeals, and modes of establishing credibility. The Grief Toolbox utilizes a direct, expository narrative, while Heart In Diamond and the personal narrative share a more emotive storytelling approach. Each offers valuable perspectives on the transformative power of grief, demonstrating the multifaceted nature of this universal human experience.

The aftermath of a loss can spark significant changes in a person’s character, whether those changes are related to a person’s improved spirituality, resilience, or ability for valuing the present. These developments do not, however, lessen the sorrow of loss, and those who are mourning have to deal with a wide range of complicated emotions.  Even as personal growth emerges from grief, it co-exists with pain and distress, which is a testament to the human spirit’s amazing resiliency. The fact that not everyone undergoes posttraumatic development (PTG) must be emphasized. Some people may experience serious consequences after the loss, such as dependency, self-inflicted harm, or sinking into depression.

For some people, like me, it could accelerate the process of becoming an adult and increase responsibility to the point where they sometimes take priority over other things in life, like having fun as a child. In a world where loss is an unavoidable part of life, understanding the potential pathways of personal growth and acknowledging the unique nature of grief can help in nurturing empathy and providing support to those navigating their journeys of loss. The acknowledgment of “the five stages of grief” should be beneficial for those who struggle to express and verbalize emotions, allowing them to identify with one or multiple stages during grief. Now that they have identified the emotion and verbalized how they feel, the likelihood of getting help from others or even giving themselves help through self-awareness increases dramatically. Through this exploration of grief and growth, we can better comprehend the human capacity to transform the pain from grief into strength, resilience, and genuine personal development.

Works Cited

“Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better.” The Grief Toolbox, www.thegrieftoolbox.com/article/grieving-well-how-grief-has-changed-me-better. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.1)

“Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” Heart In Diamond, www.heart-in-diamond.com/cremation-diamonds/interviews/is-personal-growth-following-grief-possible.html. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.2) 

“Posttraumatic Growth after Loss.” What’s Your Grief, 2023, https://whatsyourgrief.com/posttraumatic-growth-after-loss/ Accessed 10 August 2023. (1.3)

“Parenting For The Brain.” How Does The Death Of A Parent Affect A Child,

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/death-of-a-parent/ Accessed 10 August 2023. (1.4)

“Complicated Grief.” Mayo Clinic, 13 Dec. 2022, www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374#:~:text=Complicated%20grief%20can%20affect%20you,Suicidal%20thoughts%20or%20behaviors. (1.5)

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.siue.edu/counseling/pdf/stages%20of%20grief.pdf (1.6)

“Posttraumatic Growth: Conceptual Foundations and Empirical Evidence,” Accessed 14 Aug. 2023. www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01. (1.7)

“Ambiguous Loss – Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief.” – Pauline Boss | Harvard University Press,” Accessed 14 Aug. 2023.  www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674003811. (1.8)

Categories
Unit 2

Final

Robert Torres

Prof. Ding

English 2150

Grief is a universal human experience that emerges differently in every person, leading to a spectrum of different responses and results. This essay will offer a concise comparison of the viewpoints expressed in articles like “Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better” from The Grief Toolbox and “Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” from Heart In Diamond, along with a personal account of the journey of transformation that followed the passing of my beloved grandfather.

Personal development following a significant loss is not a universal experience; rather, it varies greatly depending on each person’s personal grieving process. While some people may find comfort and meaning in their spiritualism, others may find increased grit or a sharper understanding of how precious life is. These unique responses frequently result in unforeseen human evolutions, whether it is the discovery of hidden skills or the strengthening of bonds among individuals who have experienced loss together.

The sense of loss triggers a complex mix of emotions, such as anger, depression, and bitterness. It’s important to remember that these negative emotions, though inevitable in the early stages of grief, can eventually give way to positive outcomes over time. When my grandfather passed away, my initial reaction was to shell up emotionally and essentially block out the “noise”. However, after I got past the “initial stages of grief”, I began to naturally see my resilience build up over time and make me a stronger individual overall. Grief counselor Paul Parkin emphasizes the power of allowing oneself to not only mourn the loss but also celebrate the life of the departed, which can aid in moving forward (1.2). As someone who has experienced significant loss, I can attest that personal growth can indeed arise from grief. The journey through grief can result in increased patience, kindness, acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude, among other positive traits. Seeing the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel” isn’t easy when all you see is darkness, but as difficult as it may be, being patient with not only your environment is crucial to the healing process.  This growth, though unexpected, is a testament to the human capacity to evolve and adapt in the face of suffering 

However, it’s crucial to remember that these changes usually take time to manifest and are often recognized only after one has moved through the initial phases of grief.  While for some people personal growth may come from grief, it is important to note that we may all have Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but not have what is called Posttraumatic Growth (PTG) (1.3), although both stem from an event that caused us severe pain, PTG is the positive psychological change that some individuals experience after a life crisis or traumatic event. Remember to note that this doesn’t numb or intensify grief, but rather PTG arises from the coping mechanisms individuals use to deal with grief, co-existing with the pain and hardship of the loss. As mentioned before, many people may break through and become better people, but what about those who don’t? Many people take a turn for the worst and life’s hardships become too much and force them to be on a lifestyle that has them dependent on drugs, self-inflicted pain, or even a co-dependency of being with somebody just to not be alone. 

The unexpected loss of a parent or child specifically can cause a spiraling depression that may cost somebody their life. In many families, the death of a parent means increased pressure for the grieving child to take on the responsibilities of the dead parent and to isolate them from friends. From my experience, I felt like I had to take on the burden of responsibilities left behind by my grandfather. Leaving me to reinforce the statement “I grew up too soon”, leaving me to feel as if I did not get the chance to enjoy childhood like my peers and others did. On top of that, this grief at such a young age could result in the child’s poor psychosocial well-being, changes in behavior, an increase in stress, and sleep disturbances​​. (1.4)

In conclusion, while the articles and the personal narrative each argue for the potential of personal growth through grief, they employ different narrative structures, emotional appeals, and modes of establishing credibility. The Grief Toolbox utilizes a direct, expository narrative, while Heart In Diamond and the personal narrative share a more emotive storytelling approach. Each offers valuable perspectives on the transformative power of grief, demonstrating the multifaceted nature of this universal human experience.

The aftermath of a loss can spark significant changes in a person’s character, whether those changes are related to a person’s improved spirituality, resilience, or ability for valuing the present. These developments do not, however, lessen the sorrow of loss, and those who are mourning have to deal with a wide range of complicated emotions.  Even as personal growth emerges from grief, it co-exists with pain and distress, which is a testament to the human spirit’s amazing resiliency. The fact that not everyone undergoes posttraumatic development (PTG) must be emphasized. Some people may experience serious consequences after the loss, such as dependency, self-inflicted harm, or sinking into depression.

For some people, like me, it could accelerate the process of becoming an adult and increase responsibility to the point where they sometimes take priority over other things in life, like having fun as a child. In a world where loss is an unavoidable part of life, understanding the potential pathways of personal growth and acknowledging the unique nature of grief can help in nurturing empathy and providing support to those navigating their journeys of loss. Through this exploration of grief and growth, we can better comprehend the human capacity to transform the pain from grief into strength, resilience, and genuine personal development.

Works Cited

“Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better.” The Grief Toolbox, www.thegrieftoolbox.com/article/grieving-well-how-grief-has-changed-me-better. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.1)

“Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” Heart In Diamond, www.heart-in-diamond.com/cremation-diamonds/interviews/is-personal-growth-following-grief-possible.html. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.2) 

“Posttraumatic Growth after Loss.” What’s Your Grief, 2023, https://whatsyourgrief.com/posttraumatic-growth-after-loss/ (1.3)

“Parenting For The Brain.” How Does The Death Of A Parent Affect A Child,

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/death-of-a-parent/ (1.4)

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Unit 2

Draft

Robert Torres

Prof. Ding

English 2150

Even though it is a universal human experience, grief is fundamentally unique and differs widely from person to person. This essay compares multiple articles, including, “Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better” from The Grief Toolbox and “Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” from Heart In Diamond to a personal account of the life-changing development after the death of my beloved grandfather.

Personal growth following a significant loss isn’t prescriptive but varies significantly from person to person, depending on their unique grieving process. Some individuals may find themselves delving deeper into spirituality, while others might realize an increased resilience or a renewed sense of living in the present moment, reflecting on the volatility of life. It’s not unusual to witness various forms of personal transformation, such as the emergence of previously hidden talents or the strengthening of relationships between two (or more) individuals grappling with a loss.

The sense of loss triggers a complex mix of emotions, such as anger, depression, and bitterness. It’s important to remember that these negative emotions, though inevitable in the early stages of grief, can eventually give way to positive outcomes over time. When my grandfather passed away, my initial reaction was to shell up emotionally and essentially block out the “noise”. However, after I got passed the “initial stages of grief”, I began to naturally see my resilience build up over time and make me a stronger individual overall.

Grief counselor Paul Parkin emphasizes the power of allowing oneself to not only mourn the loss but also celebrate the life of the departed, which can aid in moving forward (1.2). As someone who has experienced significant loss, I can attest that personal growth can indeed arise from grief. The journey through grief can result in increased patience, kindness, acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude, among other positive traits. Seeing the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel” isn’t easy when all you see is darkness, but as difficult as it may be, being patient with not only your environment but also yourself is crucial to the healing process.  This growth, though unexpected, is a testament to the human capacity to evolve and adapt in the face of suffering 

It’s crucial to remember that these changes usually take time to manifest and are often recognized only after one has taken steps to heal and allowed time to pass by.  While for some people personal growth may come from grief, it is important to note that we may all have Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but not have what is called Posttraumatic Growth (PTG) (1.3), although both stem from an event that caused us severe pain, PTG is the positive psychological change that some individuals experience after a life crisis or traumatic event. Remember to note that this doesn’t numb or intensify grief, but rather PTG arises from the coping mechanisms individuals use to deal with grief, co-existing with the pain and hardship of the loss. Coping mechanisms can range from exercising or getting lost in a good book to escape reality. As mentioned before, many people may break through and become better people, but what about those who don’t? Many people take a turn for the worst and life’s hardships become too much and force them to be on a lifestyle that has them dependent on drugs, cause self-inflicted pain, or even a co-dependency of being with somebody just to not be alone. 

The unexpected loss of a parent or child specifically can cause a spiraling depression, that may even cost somebody their life. In many families, the death of a parent means increased pressures for the grieving child to take on the responsibilities of the dead parent and to isolate from friends. From my experience, I felt like I had to take on the burden of responsibilities left behind by my grandfather. Leaving me to reinforce the statement “I grew up too soon”, leaving me to feel as if I did not get the chance to enjoy childhood like my peers and others did. On top of that, this grief at such a young age could result in the child’s poor psychosocial well-being, changes in behavior, an increase in stress, and sleep disturbances​​. (1.4)

In conclusion, while the articles and the personal narrative each argue for the potential of personal growth through grief, they employ different narrative structures, emotional appeals, and modes of establishing credibility. The Grief Toolbox utilizes a direct narrative, while Heart In Diamond and the personal narrative share a more emotional storytelling approach. Each offers valuable perspectives on the transformative power of grief, demonstrating the multifaceted nature of this universal human experience.

The aftermath of a loss can spark significant changes in a person’s character, whether those changes are related to a person’s improved spirituality, resilience, or ability for valuing the present. These developments do not, however, lessen the sorrow of loss, and those who are mourning have to deal with a wide range of complicated emotions.  Even as personal growth emerges from grief, it co-exists with pain and distress, which is a testament to the human spirit’s amazing resiliency. The fact that not everyone undergoes posttraumatic development (PTG) must be emphasized. Some people may experience serious consequences after the loss, such as dependency, self-inflicted harm, or sinking into depression.

For some people, like me, it could accelerate forward the process of becoming an adult and increase responsibility to the point where they sometimes take priority over other things in life, like having fun as a child. In a world where loss is an unavoidable part of life, understanding the potential pathways of personal growth and acknowledging the unique nature of grief can help in nurturing empathy and providing support to those navigating their journeys of loss. Through this exploration of grief and growth, we can better comprehend the human capacity to transform the pain from grief into strength, resilience, and genuine personal development.

Works Cited

“Grieving Well: How Grief Has Changed Me for the Better.” The Grief Toolbox, www.thegrieftoolbox.com/article/grieving-well-how-grief-has-changed-me-better. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.1)

“Is Personal Growth Following Grief Possible?” Heart In Diamond, www.heart-in-diamond.com/cremation-diamonds/interviews/is-personal-growth-following-grief-possible.html. Accessed 30 July 2023. (1.2) 

“Posttraumatic Growth after Loss.” What’s Your Grief, 2023, https://whatsyourgrief.com/posttraumatic-growth-after-loss/ (1.3)

“Parenting For Brain.” How Does The Death Of A Parent Affect A Child,

https://www.parentingforbrain.com/death-of-a-parent/ (1.4)

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Unit 2

Distraction/Attention worksheet

Describe your overall ability to pay attention when it comes to school work (<100 words)   On a scale of 1 – 10, indicate how addicted you are to your phones
9. I have a lot of stuff on my phone that I feel the need to pay attention to, it could be to make sure my finances are in order, somebody may have called or texted me and I need to get back to them, or just need some relaxation time and put on YouTube.    
While reading “My Distraction Sickness” please note how long it takes you to get through the piece (Google says it’s a 45 min read); also, count the number of times you get distracted (for whatever reason) and tally them at the end.
  It probably took me around 1 hour flat just because I would take breaks in between just to rest my eyes or to honestly go on social media quickly but come back to the reality that this reading needed to get done.
Describe the tone of all three articles, how do they differ? (<100 words)
In Defense of Distraction, the author promotes his viewpoint that, despite the significant negative effects that technology has had on people’s lives, distraction is normal and beneficial for people. The tone of My Distraction Sickness was really personalized, giving numerous personal stories and how the author’s viewpoints on the matter had changed over time. The Distracted Student’s voice was educational and It was heavily based on science and the psychology of humans.  
What are Sam Anderson’s primary arguments in defense of distraction? (see part III of In Defense of Distraction) Do you find them convincing? Why or why not (<150 words)
  His main points are that distraction in people is normal and that the concept of focus itself is counterintuitive. I found his points to be convincing, I always felt like distractions allowed me to ironically refocus, similar to when you refresh a webpage online and it may bring up new information. His case is strengthened by bringing up the skill with which advanced Buddhists multitask and also how studying attention isn’t like an organ system, which you can just examine physically.  
After reading all three articles, what are your thoughts on this “epidemic of distraction”? (<50 words)
  With all this new technology, these newer generations are going to be a lot worse. Kids grow up with tablets and tiktok now that is a recipe for disaster.  
Please annotate “My Distraction Sickness” – highlight at least three instances for each of the following rhetoric concepts: InventionStyle Memory Pathos Ethos
 
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Unit 2

Alternative Perspective

As the mother of a then 12-year-old boy, I was familiar with the anticipation children radiate during the holiday season. Their minds revolve around the mystery of Christmas presents and the excitement of the upcoming holiday break. However, Christmas of 2014 held a different significance. It was the day my son silently confronted his emotional development, marking an unforgettable point in his journey in emotional maturity. In the heart of that summer, my father’s health started declining. The dreadful diagnosis was lung cancer. As my father’s physical strength declined, he remained bedridden. One memory that stays with me is when my sister and I assisted him to drink coffee in the kitchen, and even in his frail state, he thanked us, saying, “Ay Mi hija, gracias, no se que yo hice para merecer esto”. Not thinking it was possible but making us love and appreciate him even more.

When my father passed away at the age of 95, we encircled his bed, forming a silent acknowledgment of the unfolding reality. His departure created a weird feeling in the room, filling us with a unique mix of grief and love. As a mother, witnessing my son, a child too young to fully comprehend the gravity of the situation, trying to deal with such a deep loss, was particularly heart-wrenching. The days following my father’s death were dreary, punctuated with tears and remembrances. Despite the sorrow I felt, I could see over time how this loss was shaping my son, transforming him into a more empathetic individual.

However, my son often held back his emotions, comparing his grief to others and perceiving it as “not as bad”. I watched him embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing through therapy, where he slowly learned to unravel his tangled emotions. Yet, he still often remained reserved, a lingering cloud of grief he had silently burdened on himself for so long. If I could change one thing about that day, it would be to remind my son to “let it out” and show how much love he had for his grandfather. I wished he had allowed his emotions to flow freely, expressing his love for his grandfather openly.

Even today, the lessons from my father’s life continue to resonate within my son. His passing was not only a loss but a teachable moment about embracing vulnerability, cherishing our loved ones, and expressing our emotions fearlessly. I hope my son continues to apply these teachings throughout his life, becoming more open and unafraid to share his feelings, as life rarely offers second chances.

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Unit 2

 SSQ Assignment

This essay tells a very personal story that centers on the death of a beloved family member, my grandfather, from lung cancer. Beginning a growth in self-awareness and emotional maturity, it analyzes the emotional journey this inspired. 

Story – A Personal Narrative

When my grandfather, a model of bravery and humbleness, passed away from lung cancer when I was 12 years old, my outlook on life took a major shift.  I recall specific incidents that illustrate his continuous grace in the face of struggle, such as his expression of sincere thanks even in his most frail condition. His departure caused significant changes in my emotional environment, setting off a process of self-discovery and emotional growth.

Situation – The Underlying Themes

Themes like the sense of loss, the unpredictability of life, the value of emotional openness, and the power found in vulnerability are intertwined throughout this story. These themes are not just part of my personal story, but resonate universally, reflecting shared human experiences.

Question – Research Questions and Preliminary Thesis

The situations and narrative described have several potential research questions. Two prominent questions that emerge are: “How does confronting mortality and loss shape emotional development and self-awareness?” and “What role does vulnerability play in personal growth and understanding the depth of human emotions?” Following these, the thesis proposed for this study is, “Personal loss serves as a reminder of mortality and a motivator for emotional growth and self-awareness, encouraging compassion among those who are vulnerable and expressive of their feelings”.

Support and Potential Obstacles in the Research

The psychological research on grief and personal growth, studies on the effects of loss on emotional development, and expert opinions on the significance of vulnerability in personal development will all be used to support this study. Finding specific research that directly relates to the distinct experiences and proposed thesis is one such challenge.

Expressing Influences and the Importance of the Topic

I intend on including my own observations and tales throughout the study to show my influences. The importance of this subject will be highlighted by emphasizing the universality of the themes of loss, personal development, and emotional maturity. This will engage readers and encourage them to think about their own experiences.

This research explores globally shared experiences yet being based on a personal narrative. It attempts to provide a greater comprehension of how loss affects emotional growth and the importance of vulnerability in human development.

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Unit 2

Homework 7.27

Logos (Logic):

  1.         “What we need is a considerable amount of frankness that acknowledges there are two sets of difficulties. We must recognize the difficulty that brown people, white people, and black people have all over the world to protect their own vested interests. They suffer from a kind of racial narcissism which tends always to convert every contingency in such a way as to maximize their own power. We must acknowledge of that problem, but we must also reach through to the Negro people and tell them that their best chances are in a mobile society and the most mobile society in the world today is in the United States.”

Ex: William Buckley uses logic to argue that there are two sets of difficulties in America – one faced by white individuals protecting their vested interests, and the other faced by the Negro community.

2. “They say that in 1900 there were 3,500 Negro doctors in America. In 1960 there were 3,900, an increase of 400. Is this because there were no opportunities? No, they say. There are a great many medical schools which by no means practice discrimination. It is because the Negro’s particular energy is not directed toward that goal.”

Ex: William Buckley employs logical reasoning by citing statistics from Nathan Glazer’s work to address the issue of limited progress among Negro doctors.        

Ethos (Credibility):

  1. “For one thing I believe that the fundamental trend in the United States is to the good nature, the generosity and good wishes, the decency that do lie in the spirit of the American people.”

Ex: William Buckley establishes credibility by claiming that Americans are concerned about the Negro problem in the United States. He asserts that the concern is genuine and that his presence at universities is proof of this widespread concern.

2. “The Negro problem is a very complicated one. I urge those of you who have an actual interest in the problem to read “Beyond the Melting Pot,” by Nathan Glazer and Daniel MoynihM.”

Ex: He cites Nathan Glazer, a prominent Jewish Sociologist, to bolster his argument’s credibility. By referring to a respected expert’s work, he shows that the issue of racial discrimination and progress among Negroes is being studied and analyzed by reputable scholars.

Pathos (Emotions):

  1. “The presence of Mr. Baldwin here is, in part, a reflection of that concern. You cannot go to any university in the United States in which practically every other problem of public policy is not pre-empted by the primary concern for the Negro. I challenge you to name me another civilization in the history of the world in which the problems of the minority, which have been showing considerable material and political advancement, are as much a subject of dramatic concern as in the United States.”

Ex: William Buckley appeals to emotions by highlighting the genuine concern for the Negro community in the United States by pointing out how Mr. Baldwin’s presence at various universities reflects this concern. Also indicating that the topic of racial discrimination and civil rights holds significant importance in public discourse.

2. “These qualities must not be laughed at, and under no circumstances must America be told that the only alternative is the overthrow of that civilization which we consider to be the faith of our fathers, the faith of your fathers.”

Ex: He evokes emotions here by emphasizing the foundation of the American people. Urging those listening not to dismiss or laugh at what he’s saying. Allowing his pride for his country to take over and speak about “the faith of our fathers…” as a country. Appealing to a shared sense of goodness and decency in addressing racial issues.

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Unit 1

Final

Robert Torres

Prof. Ding

English 2150

Like any other 12-year-old boy during the holiday season, the only things occupying my mind were the alluring mystery of what gifts I would receive for Christmas and the eagerness to finally start the much-anticipated Christmas break. Year after year, Christmas was celebrated with excitement and joy, undeniably making it my favorite holiday growing up. It was a day I would remember as a significant turning point in my journey toward self-awareness and emotional development rather than just a date on a calendar. A day where I failed to move past the limits of rationality and embrace the colorful symphony of emotions that form the human experience. At the time, little did I know that December 24, 2014, would etch itself into the canvas of my memory as a day I would never forget. 

In the midst of summer’s luster, around mid to late July, my grandfather’s health began to decline. The diagnosis was lung cancer. The disease, once a mere vision in our family’s conversations, quickly became a disconcerting reality. Refusing to give in to the rigors of chemotherapy, my grandfather decided to face his fate head-on, choosing instead the path of natural remedies. Weekly hospital visits and endless medical jargon became the pattern of his life. As his physical strength waned, he eventually became bedridden, a mournful sight for those who loved him so dearly. Despite the heavy shadow that illness cast, my grandfather retained an undying spirit of gratitude and love. This spirit shines most brightly during the holiday season when the family gathered around him, like moths drawn to the luminosity of his resilience. 

One memory, in particular, stands as a testament to his enduring grace. On one occasion, my mother and aunt helped him stand up from his bed, supporting his frail body so he could partake in the simple pleasure of drinking coffee in the kitchen. To their surprise, he thanked them warmly, saying, “Ay Mi hija, gracias, no se que yo hice para merecer esto” – “Thank you, my daughter, thank you. What did I do to deserve this?”. It was a bittersweet moment, witnessing a man who had spent decades as a loving and supportive father expressing his gratitude in his weakest state. His strength of character, even in his vulnerability, was profoundly touching. His humble words, carrying the weight of love and humility, still hold weight in my heart.

At the venerable age of 95, my grandfather bid his final farewell. I remember the day so vividly that the scene is practically ingrained into my brain. We stood there, encircling his bed, holding him as he exhaled his last breath. Our hands were linked in a chain of love and sorrow, forming a silent acknowledgment of the reality unfolding before our eyes. Even knowing his time was drawing to an end, nothing could have prepared us for the time of his departure. The room was mixed with warm and cold, an eerie picture painted with grief and love. 

The tension was distinct, and the wave of anxiety and sadness washed over us in unison. Humans don’t possess the ability to see what isn’t there and hear something that can’t make a sound, but on that day I could see and feel it all. I could feel and witness the rawness of our collective emotions, the undertone of loss, and the heavy blanket of silence that had descended. In real-time, the scene was heart-wrenching. A wife of 40 years was witnessing the painful reality of “till death do us part.” Two daughters were coming to terms with losing an amazing father who had been a constant presence for three decades. And there was me, a young grandson not yet old enough to watch a PG-13 movie without parental supervision, grappling with the irreplaceable loss of a man whose presence was a cherished constant in my life. The immediate aftermath of his departure was a gloomy period, punctuated with occasional tears and remembrances. The memories we had shared with him were safely tucked away, ready to be told to future generations. His legacy, the stories of his kindness, strength, and love would live on, engraved in the chronicles of our family’s history. He would be remembered as a man of exceptional character, a man of love, and a man of resilience.

Despite the sorrow that filled me that day, I came to acknowledge that it played a pivotal role in shaping me into the person I am today. Becoming a person who struggles at times to feel empathy because I always compare it to being “not as bad” compared to what I went through that day. Leading me to proudly take a deep dive into self-discovery and healing through therapy, allowing myself to untangle my feelings. Even to this day, I can still be very closed off with my emotions, stemming from the sorrow that I kept to myself through all those years.

However, if there were one thing I could alter about that day, it would be my reaction. I wished I had cast aside the self-imposed restrictions of behaving logically, and instead, let my emotions flow freely. I wished I had seized the moment, so to speak, possibly being a lot more spontaneous, and crying out how much I loved him. In retrospect, my grandfather’s death, though undeniably sad, wasn’t all that tragic when I really think about it. Though being a critical moment in my life, it served as a harsh reminder of how short life can be and the importance of expressing our emotions, especially love, openly and fearlessly. As I look back now, I realize that the valuable lesson he imparted continues to resonate within me, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. His passing became a teachable moment about embracing vulnerability, cherishing our loved ones, and not withholding expressions of love, because life, as beautifully unpredictable as it is, doesn’t always grant us second chances.