How to navigate conflict?
Conflict is not inherently bad. In fact, conflict resulting from sharing different perspectives and opinions can be quite helpful for a team. However, even if healthy for the team, conflict may still be difficult to navigate. Most, if not all of us, have experienced a difficult conversation with someone who was arguing a dissimilar viewpoint, held different values, communicated without respect, or simply was not engaged. And even with the best of intentions, conflict can become personal.
Here are steps you can use to address such a situation.
- Frame the problem or issue in a constructive, non-personal, non-accusatory way (the 4 part model in “Asking for and sharing feedback” might be useful here too).
- Listen to both/all perspectives – not to hear what they are saying and know when you can speak again, but rather to understand what they are saying.
- Ask clarifying questions; show understanding and empathy of the feelings of both/all parties.
- Look for common ground (e.g. the areas or perspectives that support your shared goals and the purpose of the team). Avoid my-way-or-no-way-thinking.
- Explore alternatives together. Consider how each alternative addresses your shared goals and purpose and your individual interests and concerns.
- Decide upon a mutually agreed upon solution to move forward.
Tips from student teams:
- In your team charter, identify and allocate the role of “peace-keeper” to a specific team member.
- Practice conflict resolution in role-plays before difficult situations arise.
- Make this a priority in your team charter. If you value the sharing of differences and having a voice, state that and then make it a priority. (We used the idea of psychological safety to encourage us to share different opinions, and we measured our psyc safety to assess how we were feeling throughout our work together.)