Hijas Americanas

The 2 questions I chose from Appendix B from Hijas Americans by Rosie Molinary were “What do you love most about yourself? About what are you most confident?” (Molinary 301), and ” Are you secure with your appearance? If not, why not? Do you consider yourself sexy?” (Molinary 302). I chose these questions because I resonated the most with them. Answering these questions will benefit readers who read my blog post because some could be people who struggle with accepting themselves, loving themselves, and living up to their own standards. To those readers who are confident, loving to themselves, and know what their purpose is, then reading my answer will enable them to empathize with people who don’t feel the same way about themselves.

What do you love most about yourself? About what are you most confident?

What I love most about myself is my quiet nature because I find it peaceful to be alone with myself pondering, reminiscing, and talking to myself. Some find it weird that I like being reserved because they assume my life is boring and miserable. Growing up I never really liked being the center of attention because it’s something that never sparked my interest. I would always find myself alone and I was happy. However, my family did not like it because they wanted me to talk and be more social. In middle school, I was called a loser for not speaking or having friends but it didn’t bother me because although I did not have friends, I was still happy which is something that most kids in middle school don’t fathom since they think that having a lot of friends equates to happiness. However, I’ve noticed that all my best changes occurred when I spent time with myself. I love my quiet nature because I can just exist without being bothered or rushed by anyone which enables me to do what I think is best for myself. Furthermore, I have formed good friendships with others who accept me for who I am. My friends nicknamed me “baby” because they like to mess around and tell me that they are still waiting for me to say my first words. Overall, my quiet. nature is something that I embraced and learned to love and would not swap it for anything.

What I am most confident about is my physical strength. Growing up I was the fat kid who ate a lot and was teased by family, friends, and classmates. On top of being fat, I was a weak child who despite my weight was relatively weak. It made me sad because of the whole stigma that I was raised in that emphasized that men need to be strong both mentally and physically. At one point I completely lost myself because of how weak I was and I knew that I needed to do something about it. That’s where I found the gym and started lifting. It was hard at first but I stayed consistent and I started seeing results. I kept getting stronger and started to feel confident with my strength. To this day my progress has been phenomenal. I’ve benched 225 on the bench, 315 on squats, and 540 on deadlift. It’s something that I value a lot because I worked so hard for it. No one did it for me and it’s something that I am proud of and confident with. Although I know others have more impressive numbers, I am still confident in my strength because I was able to surpass my younger self and I know that my younger self would be so proud of me right now.

Are you secure with your appearance? If not, why not? Do you consider yourself sexy?

No. I am not secure with my appearance because of past experiences that make it hard for me to be secure with my appearance. As mentioned before, I was a relatively fat child. I was never confident with my body because I hated myself and what I saw in the mirror. On top of that, constant insults that were directed toward my physical appearance only made me hate myself even more. As I grew older and found my passion for working out I still had issues with being secure with my appearance. Despite being complimented by friends and family I have a hard time accepting their compliments because I still see that fat kid within myself. That is why I always wear baggy clothes because of the lack of security with my appearance. Even though people tell me to “show it off” I rarely do because I still conflicted views about my appearance.

The idea of self-love and self-acceptance is subjective for everyone to achieve because of our backgrounds. We are the authors of our own lives. Every obstacle, every moment of adversity, every moment of prosperity allows us to craft our identity. An identity that we can embrace and accept.

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