Hijas Americanas

• Option 1: At the end of Hijas Americanas, Molinary includes the interview questionnaire that she used with the women she spoke with for this project (Appendix B, pp. 301-302). Choose between 1-3 of the questions included on this list and answer them with as much detail as you are willing/able to do. As an introduction to your answers, please explain why you chose these questions to answer and how you think your answers might benefit readers of your blog post.

Hijas Americanas is the number one contender for my favorite reading this semester. The stories told by different women of similar cultural backgrounds made me feel seen and understood as I read through each one. Below are my answers to the questions that I could relate to most/had the most to speak on as they bring to light issues that come to mind daily. By sharing my experiences, I hope readers can identify with some of my battles growing up Latina.

3. How do you believe your life is different by growing up in the United States instead of growing up in the country (or countries) of your ethnic heritage?

This question has always lingered in the back of my head. Growing up in a small, rural town in the Dominican Republic to a working-class family, my options for the future were slim. As a young girl in a Latin American country, your options are either marriage and in some rare cases, college. For me, attending the local public university would have been the only way to better my future as I refused to settle for marriage and become a housewife. Even with the better option of a college degree, the average wage for a woman in business in the Dominican Republic is between $500-$800 per month, a nearly impossible income to live on with today’s rising living costs. My mother’s decision to move our family to the U.S. significantly improved my chances of getting a college education and working for a just wage that allows me to live comfortably in NYC. To many, the U.S. is the land of opportunity and to us this meant everything. Being less than a month away from graduation, I thank my mother every chance I get for making the sacrifices she made to ensure I get to have the freedom to choose my own destiny along with endless opportunities.

5. Tell me about your relationship with your parents in your home as you grew up both American and Latina.

When we first moved to the U.S., my mother was the only one who spoke a bit of English as she had been obsessed with the language during her teenage years. Both my brother and I knew basic words we had learned in school, and it took us years to become comfortable enough to speak the language fluently in public. At home, we mostly spoke Spanish. We slowly transitioned to a form of Spanglish sometime after we became comfortable with English words. English eventually became the main language spoken at home, but even then, my mother never allowed us to forget our culture. Based on some of our readings and experiences with my own friends, it seemed like parents often encouraged their children to act more American in order to fit in. My mother ensured we made our own decision as to which parts of our two cultures we wanted to adapt into our personalities. Her understanding of the American culture and love for our Dominican heritage helped us maintain a special bond at home.

10. In your romantic relationships, which rules and expectations from your parent’s traditions applied, and which ones didn’t?

It is only right to start with the rule that causes the most arguments in my life: the man has to be served first. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have found someone who not only shares the same cultural values as me but was raised by amazing women who refused to carry on sexist traditions. My own grandmother ingrained the idea of serving the man first and waiting until the man of the house sat down to eat before everyone else started eating. This is one of the rules that took me the longest to de-adjust to (I am still learning) as my partner always encourages the women in the family to serve their plates first.

Moving on to expectations, as in many Latin families women are expected to cook and complete the overall household chores even if they also work. In my case, household chores and cooking are split evenly. When we initially moved in together, we listed the things we did not enjoy doing and those we did. In the end, neither one of us enjoyed doing dishes so we chose to compromise and alternate dish duty. As two adults with jobs (and taking 5 classes!) it was important for us to have assigned tasks to keep our sanity and avoid arguments at home.

At this time, I cannot think of any traditions that I decided to carry on to my current relationship. I was raised by a single mother who always allowed me the freedom of making my own choices. Many of the rules and expectations were passed down from my maternal grandmother, who to this day will comment if she does not see me serve my partner his plate first.

Molinary, Rosie. Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image, and Growing Up Latina. Seal Press, 2007.