Onward to revision-Paper #2

Looking over my draft I see that I don’t have a very specific thesis. For my first paper I was able to come up with a thesis fairly quickly. For this paper it took me about an hour or two to whip up a thesis and even then I wasn’t confident about it. My thesis was basically that in order for college student to get the necessary training and information they need for their major they need technology. The problem with this thesis is that it’s too general as it include all type of technology and that’s something I got to fix.

Looking over this essay it seems that I give a little bit too much analyzes instead of really showing the readers what a 21st classroom would look like. So far I’ve started in attempting to fix my thesis which isn’t really going to well at the moment because of writer’s block. I fear that my thesis is going to take up most of my revision time and won’t be able to focus on the other things as well.

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One Response to Onward to revision-Paper #2

  1. erica kaufman says:

    Jose–I think that you are on the right track–but what kind of technology do students need? what major will you focus on? why? remember–it isn’t too much analysis that is the problem–it is more specifics–make sure that you are as specific as possible. EJK

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