Hey everyone,
I’ve been revising my draft and I started to notice that I didn’t really have a valid thesis. After looking through my points and my introduction paragraph for awhile, I started to see that I wasn’t arguing anything. But I had my ideas out there on how the classroom should change to live up to the modern classroom environment.
I was happy to find out that I needed to work on my thesis and reorganize my body paragraphs, but I had a big problem on writing my thesis because I didn’t know how to combine all the three topics that would be flowy and still be interesting to the reader. I have to admit, I sound dull in my paper, but I’m excited to change all that by making the reader more engaged with personal examples and something that I can relate to in the body paragraphs. I’m still trying to make a “hook” that is effective as our group essay and don’t make the rest of my essay sound like a robot. Even though I’ve been revising my essay, I ended up with small progress, but if I can establish my thesis, I think my paper would be definately be stronger than what I’ve had on my rough draft.
Yeah I agree. The thesis is like the main structure of the paper which is why all professors stress on finding the thesis in the paper. I think you can break down the thesis into two sentences so you can fit all your ideas…And as for the hook I think you should describe the classroom to help you get on to an interesting start.
David–How are you doing with your thesis? Any idea about how you will narrow it down? Also, a quick trick–if you think you need a “hook” to begin the paper, why not think about beginning with a really vibrant example or anecdote? EJK