Even with a thrilling nightlife, dating events specifically designed to find Mr. Right and an overwhelming amount of dating apps, gay New Yorkers still struggle to find a significant other.

For those who are HIV positive, the challenge of finding a partner grows.

Take Nathan Kelly, 33, who holds an M.A. in mental health counseling and resides in Midtown Manhattan. On a recent evening, he was out at Vodka Soda & Bottom Up, a bar in Hell’s kitchen that is popular for serving well drinks way below the average market price. It was almost 8 p.m. and Kelly, sitting right at the middle of the bar, took his daily dose of Genvoya, the blue antiretroviral pill that keeps him undetectable.

“Dating in NYC is both simple and complicated, depending on what you are looking for,” said Kelly. “Add to that being HIV positive, and things becomes a bit harder.”

More than 750,000 New Yorkers identify as LGBT, according to an analysis of survey data conducted by Gallup. So, in a city with such a prominent gay population—the largest in the US—where gays can enjoy themselves in vibrant neighborhoods like Chelsea, East Village and Hell’s Kitchen, the common assumption is that LGBT individuals have it much easier than their counterparts in less gay-populated areas, for instance.

“But in reality, dating in New York is like the paradox of the plenty in economics; the more options you have, the less successful you are in finding someone you actually want,” said Kelly, after taking a long sip of his apple martini.

“Casual dating is endless, as most people can find time for a movie or a coffee,” he said. “But having to devote consistent time … on something other than yourself, doesn’t seem to be what most people want to do.”

Scientific research has shown that, although extremely low risk does not mean zero risk, it is almost impossible for an undetectable person to transmit the virus to a sexual partner. This is especially true if the negative person is on PrEP, the daily pill that keeps more than 79,000 Americans negative, according to Aidsmap.com.

“But not everyone wants to take a pill every day just to be able to have sex with another person, especially considering there are so many options in New York,” said Kelly. “You could just as easily meet someone who is negative and have a connection without all the trouble.”

The biggest challenge for an HIV positive gay man is the fear of being rejected by a potential partner who might not want to deal with the risk of getting infected, he said. Although there has been a big push towards awareness due to social media, subway ads, and education, he explains, “it is still possible to meet someone who is uneducated about the virus.”

Kelly believes that he has not faced many challenges when dating someone because he has always disclosed his HIV status from the beginning. “It takes a lot of trust to date someone who is positive, and trust is something that usually needs to be built up,” he said. “But because dating tends to be so casual in NYC, most guys don’t take the time to build up to that, and find it easier to just dismiss a positive person.”