Blog 4

     The sentence analysis I had to do for this blog was really helpful for me to find the changes I want to make to my first draft. I was a little surprised with the result of my sentence analysis. After reading the two paragraphs I selected, I found that I have a lot of lengthy sentences, with them being complex, compound, and complex-compound sentences. I do have a few simple sentences as well, but by looking at my writing, I see that I try to fit a lot of ideas together that are similar thematically. Although I don’t have a problem with that, I think adding in simple, short sentences to amplify some ideas would be helpful for my final paper. By doing this, my writing can become clearer, and I would be able to put emphasis on my claims without my ideas being too lengthy that they are too difficult to follow through. For example, after I present a quote from one of the articles I am using, I can add a simple sentence emphasizing the main idea, or the important point I’m trying to make by placing that quote there. I think this would help my paper overall by making it more organized, and giving my writing a better flow. This also relates to the changes I’m making with my paper since I want my writing to be organized better, making clear claims that I want to get across to the reader. In addition, I found that I often repeat the same words in my paper, and after looking closely into my writing, I realize that I should use better organization, and different vocabulary to make my claims reach to the audience better.