In a magazine, what do you see? Usually there is a perfect family with a mother, father, son, daughter and maybe a dog. My family does not look like that, so is my family broken? My family is made up of my mother, grandmother, 2 sisters and I. My family is not the same as the magazine, so is my family wrong? Even though my father is not around, I do not view my family as flawed. The definition of a family is a group of people living together in a household. For a very long time I had thought it was not.
When I was 6 years old, my mom and dad separated. I never really understood what was going on until I was about 9. My dad would sometimes call and visit, but dropped all forms of communication by the time I was 7. I do not know why he left, but always thought it was always somewhat my fault. I had a feeling my sisters and I did something wrong one day and he left because he got tired of us. I slowly started to understand that I could not control what had happened and had to accept the situation.
When I got a bit older, I started to notice how people would show off the things they had and the stuff their parents would buy them. I was a part of a group of friends who liked to show off and show one another the “fancy” things we had. I did not want to be the outcast of the group so I tried to keep up with them. I knew that would not always be the case. Since my family is a one-income home that has to support 4 others, I could not always get the material items I wanted. I had to make do with the items I had because I also had to think about my family. I could not do everything my friends did and I had to accept that, but I was still happy with what I had.
The one thing that remains of my father’s abandoning is trust issues I have. I know I may seem to be a free spirit who speaks my mind, but I have my doubts with people. If the one who is supposed to love you most and care for you leaves, then why should anyone else stay? Since that is my way of thinking, it is not that easy for me to get to trust someone with anything I know. I may trust someone, but I do not think I will ever trust someone wholeheartedly. Some say I am distant, but that is not exactly what is going on. I have a barrier around me for a reason and I do not think anyone can get through that barrier. It may take more time, but trusting someone is not easy for me and may still be a “scar” I bare when I grow older.
