How to Make Elias Avila – Recipe courtesy of Elias Avila

February 2, 2017 · by · in recipe week 1

Elias Avila

Total Time: 30 years

 

Ingredients:

  • Dominican Man – age 50
  • Dominican Woman – age 30
  • Spanish
  • Television
  • English
  • Staten Island
  • Various financial Reporting

 

Directions:

First you need an aged Dominican man, then you need to mix his genetics with those of a 30 year old Dominican woman. In the same bowl add the Spanish language, and Pentecostal religion.  Place bowl in front of a television and let sit for approximately 3 years.

 

Once the 3 years are up make sure to introduce the English language into the mixture and whisk until its mixed completely.

 

Take the mixture and cook it in the toughest neighborhood of Staten Island. Make sure not to take it out until its thoroughly cooked. (*Hint check for scars to know if it’s ready)

 

Once cooked season with Spreadsheets, Financial Reports, and Balance Ledgers.

 

If everything was done correctly, you would have Elias Avila.

 

 

 

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