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The Terror of Loneliness

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As his illness grew, Ivan Ilyich had a repeating cycle of fear and hope. He was terrified by the idea of death and what it could do to him. He would question himself if the illness was what death really is and that death would soon happen to everyone else. He wanted to feel better as he insisted that he was the first to die but he will soon be joined by the others in his family. With all these questions and thoughts that rosed to his head, lonliness came up.

“Then what does it mean? Why? It can’t be that life is so senseless and horrible. But if it really has been so horrible and senseless, why must I die and die in agony? There is something wrong!” (Tolstoy, 775). Here, Ivan questions death and himself as he’s alone after dismissing Gerasim. He cried alone and ask why death would come with pain and suffering. He couldn’t bear the fact that he was so helpless that his daily routines needed assistance from others.

As days went by, all Ivan could do was ask Gerasim to accompany him and help him around the house. Ivan could not bear the pain of being alone that it became a fear. Gerasim soon became his attachment or his essential need. From waking up to sleeping, Gerasim had to accompany him in order to make Ivan feel as if he wasn’t alone. Ivan dreaded loneliness and he could do nothing but ask for Gerasim.  How horrible is it that you’re not only suffering physically, but you’re also agonized mentally. His pain of being alone separated him from his family. His family didn’t understand the pain loneliness brought and could not help in any other way but to give him opium to ease  his pain.

The thought of being lonely raised many question to Ivan throughout his sick days. Did the physical pain hurt more, or did my mental thoughts hurt more? As days went by, all he could think of was his pass and how it led to his illness. The more he thought about the pass, the more pain he would inflict upon himself. Loneliness brought pain and questions to Ivan as he comes more ill. The terror of being alone not only brought pain to Ivan, but it also changed how he view himself.

Du Tenth Sinks the Jewel Box in Anger

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“Worthy brother, what you said is quite true.” (501)

This quote was said by Young Master Li as he agreed with his friend, Liu Yuchun, about the objective of Du Mei, or so called Du Tenth, or her Madam.

Here, Li was consulting with his friend about the three days of rushing around his relatives trying to raise enough money to buy Du Mei’s freedom from her Madam. Li had no luck with any of his relatives as soon as he spoke of money. His relatives couldn’t trust him with money as he is known for his huge spendings and didn’t want to anger Li’s father if he knew they had helped.

Yuchun was offering his advice from his perspective that Du Mei was worth more than three hundred taels of silver and Du Mei said such an amount to discourage Li from embarrassing himself as he can no longer raise such funds to buy her freedom.

“I bet the madam is just down on you having no money to spend, and taking up her girl’s time for nothing. She’s made up a plan to get you out of her house.” (504) This quote was from Yuchun as he believed that Li should not return and make a fool of himself. Yuchun suggested that Du Mei was being polite due to their year long relationship with each other she did not want to hurt him.

With the answer Li provided to Yuchun, we can see that the love and affection from Li to Du Mei was very fragile and untrustworthy. Li did not trust Du Mei, whom he loved, but rather his friends opinion. Li was broke and could not even afford to visit Du Mei anymore, but yet she sheltered him and fed him. Du Mei did not ask for much of a return from Li as she knew about his financial situation. Here, we have true love and loyalty shown by Du Mei. As ungrateful as Li, he could not even trust his own lover whom he enraged his father for. Even a tiny bit of obstacle for Li was too much to handle as we saw that he questioned her loyalty and trust. All of his trust and affect for Du Mei was destroyed by a task that would grant Du Mei her freedom and their love to continue in another place.

“I’m just afraid if he gets three hundred taels of silver, Mama may have second thoughts.” (502)

Here Du Mei displays her trust and confidence of Young Master Li as her and her Mama or madam discuss about the price of Du Mei’s freedom. The amount of trust she has towards her lover, Li, is enormous and it seemed their trust and bond are strong. But little did she know, Li didn’t share the same thoughts.

We can also see their fragile relationship as they travel back to Li’s hometown as they met Sun Fu. Sun Fu easily convinced Li through drinking and sharing thoughts about telling Li’s father that his lover was a prostitute. Li gave up his love for one thousand taels of silver showing that money can buy his relationship and bond between Li and Du Mei.

As we can see, their bond and trust are very fragile as Li was easily overwhelmed by these obstacles and opinions from his friend based on the evidence provided.