I know you’ve always said how you were tired of being the nice guy, and that’s how you’ve come to be who you are today. But have you ever thought; maybe I’m tired of being the nice one too? How come I have to go through how I feel right now because you were the one who got hurt by someone else? All I ever tried to prove to you was how much I really love you & that my feelings aren’t just a phase. I know I ended up doing and saying a lot of things that were uncalled for but in all honesty I was just so damn scared of losing you. I always try to better myself to prove to you that I won’t let myself be that naive little girl that let her insecurities get the best of her anymore, but have any of my efforts ever met your eyes? It sucks, not knowing when I let myself become so vulnerable to one person & not caring regardless of how many times I let myself get hurt. All this time my heart has convinced me that you are worth it & what we had just simply can’t be given up on. The road ahead of me doesn’t lead a way to a life without you being important to me, it’s like fighting to the very end is my only option. But no matter how much you mean to me, I can’t help but wonder if my importance even exists inside your heart, or have you just lost all faith in me already? Cause it really seems like it. It hurts, it really does & it just feels more uncomfortable with each day passing.
Most of my life I was never really sure of what I wanted, until it came to you. You showed me a different way to look at things and changed everything. It’s my fault you’re not mine anymore, it’s my fault I never realize what I have until it’s gone. But so much has passed now that when I look back I wish I could slap myself for doing/saying the things I did at those moments. My eyes have been opened up, for real – and never have I felt so much regret on my mistakes in my life. But what can I do now? I don’t even have the guts to try and be the way I was with you before. I feel like nothing but an annoyance to you, like I might as well be better off as a wall. I don’t want to feel this way either, trust me. It hurts. But no matter what I do, where I go, everything will always go back to you.
I believe that this workshop was a very interesting because it gathered everyone’s monologue and presented the best ones. The one guy one the right was extremely funny, and presented in ways that had the whole Mason Hall laughing. At first I wasn’t really enjoying it because I came into the workshop a little late, and they made me sit by myself with no one that I know around me. However, it got really interesting as they kept presenting everyone’s monologue. Some were sad and depressed, others were really funny. I really enjoyed this work shop and this is probably the best one out of the ones we have had.
My favorite workshop was the event in the 23rd street building where they read many kids monologues. It was really interesting to see how other kids were handling their first semesters and what other people had to say about their new collegiate experiences.
For my second workshop, I attended a performance in Mason Hall called Baruch Voices. It was held by having several performers read out a few selected monologues written by Baruch students. The varieties of viewpoints here helped to keep the stories fresh and interesting. I heard about everything from smoking to cutting yourself… but hey, there were some lighter ones too. I mean, I might have fallen asleep once… or twice… but still, I enjoyed it.
This was a pretty interesting workshop we had to attend. I think the different monologues we saw reflected the students of Baruch perfectly. Not only is Baruch a very diverse school culturally, but it is intellectually and emotionally different as well. Every student has their own way of viewing and engaging the world around them. Yes I did think this was quite a borinh thing to attend, but I understand why we have it. It is so we can come together as a school and appreciate not only the differences on the surface but the ones inside us all as well!
We’ve attended different enrichment workshops as a class. They were all very fun and were very enjoyable. I must admit, the one that I really liked was where NYU performed on the different issues our generation goes through and the challenges we face. It was very entertaining to watch with all of the music and dancing they incorporated into the performance. The performance is something that we all could relate to in one way or another so I think that was very great. Overall it was extremely funky, colorful, and fun as well as being very humorous. It was very fun to sit with my friend and have a laugh together on the things that we actually do ourselves. It is like seeing oneself from a side view. I personally can relate too many of the different dilemmas that were performed so I found it very eye opening. Seeing how much fun the students were having performing sort of inspired me to perhaps consider doing some kind of theatrical performances in the future. This inspiration was quickly shut down when I remembered that I kind of have a stage fright, as little as it may be. More of such performances should be shown in the future.
This picture sums it all up on how my Baruch College experience has been thus far. As of right now, I love the college life with the exception of the exams. I’m not a good test taker so tests are never fun for me. Overall I’ve met so many new people and made many new friends. I’m very happy to use the many resources that are available to me in school. The past three month past so quick and its making me realize that there is no time to slack off. Life is flying by with enormous speed and there’s nothing I can do about it but go along. I have yet to take my first final which is definitely very nerve wrecking. The professors, at least this first semester, were very helpful academically as well as helping to adjust to how college is. They also helped to insight on what we could expect in the future from our professors. I can say that I am definitely looking forward to take classes that are in regards to my career. That being said, I am not so thrilled in taking those classes such as English, with English being my worst subject. Overall, I think I adjusted to Baruch quite nicely and I am looking forward to the next four years. First 3 month were a success.
Today, my peers and I came to the conference hall for a FRO workshop. The author of our freshman set text, Brooklyn, came and was talking about how some experiences from his life ended up in his book. He also talked about being an author in general. Later on, there was a Q/A session. Of course, as I’m an amateur writer, I asked him about his creative process. Also, after the workshop was over, I got his autograph on my copy of the book. All in all, I feel like I gained a lot from today.
Don’t know why people don’t take escalators for the 3rd floor or possibly the 5th. Like a little exercise would do some people good. It doesn’t take that long & since I do take the escalator to the 3rd & 5th, I would know that it doesn’t take too long. Why not use the elevator for higher floors like the 8th or 11th
Man, it was a fun year at freshman seminar. Even though it’s timing was a little inconvenient, I loved getting to know my class more and making friends and jokes along the way. My favorite workshop was definitely the Voices. The actors put in really hard work, and I appreciate that. Also, they performed masterfully, and some of the freshman’s monologues were so captivating, and others were simply hilarious.