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Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus

Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest

For Brutus is an honourable man;

So are they all, all honourable men–

Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.

He was my friend, faithful and just to me:

But Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome

Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill

Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal

I thrice presented him a kingly crown,

Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

I never really liked cats

In fact, I would’ve much rather

 Been friends with bats


Their long evil stares

Their loud screeches

Their spiteful scratches

Are not things that I’d search for


I never imagined owning a cat

Or in other terms,

A cat owning me just like that


Even if I did adopt a feline

It won’t do tricks

It won’t lengthen my lifeline

And it won’t be fun on trips

All in all, I found no amusement with cats

Period.

That was all until a small kitty came

Tiptoeing across my backyard

In no rush and unusually tame

For a stray sweetheart


They named her Rosie

I named her Athena

Rosie was too cheesy

Ebony with a milky stripe

Running from her top

To her bottom

She was born a goddess in my eyes


As usual

Luck and karma joined forces

To teach me a lesson in being humble

Love comes in all forms and doses

Athena’s a perfect example

Everyone tends to overthink.

But a select few tend to overthink their overthinking.

Like spending 3 hours overthinking what they should present for a class assignment, thinking that every idea they’ve come up with is uninteresting or irrelevant or too impersonal to convince anyone that this is what they actually think about life.

On a typical day, these over-thinkers will spend their time constantly scanning every environment they awkwardly walk into, nervous that someone else is scanning just as thoroughly-critiquing, or more specifically, critiquing them.

But all of this critiquing is not coming from some stranger, all the critiquing is happening in the overthinker’s head, they’ve experienced the 7 stages of grief before they’ve even had the opportunity to form any sort of concise, verbal response to the over-thought question they were presented with just 5 seconds prior.

I know what you must be thinking, “I relate to this, we all overthink.”

I’m not discrediting any sort of anxious experience that anyone in here has faced on a typical day, because lets face it, this is college and we walk out of here just needing a nap and an entire box of frosted flakes.

This is to the over thinkers on steroids, who within as little as ten seconds convince themselves that the anxious tapping of their foot on the floor is enough to distract an entire class, or enough to piss off the person sitting next to them, or maybe even that all of this leg shaking will eventually wear out their leg muscles and that they’ll end up in a wheelchair, unable to walk, considered a handicap, thinking they’ll never receive any sort of attention, meaning they never get married and die alone in a studio with 7 cats all while thinking that nobody is going to remember to give Clawdia her dietary cat kibble.

But hey, maybe everybody does this.

Or maybe I’m overthinking this….

The first time I got lost
I am going to tell you the story about how a jump scare led to me being taken to the Emergency Room in 7th grade. I used to think leaving my house with straightened hair was a necessity. My mom always said she would throw my straightener out.
This particular week, they had called my mom two times that I had been late to homeroom. My mother was mad and gave me one last warning.I didn’t believe her. Next day, I snooze my alarm and my mom wakes me up. Instead of a good morning she quickly says “You have 40 to make it to school”. In reality that means I have around 20 minutes to leave and 20 minutes to get to school. By the time I showered, ate breakfast , brushed my teeth I had passed the time limit. I had just started straightening my first section when my mother comes in and unplugs and takes my straightener away. My bright idea was to sneak into her room and take her curler which opens into a straightener. I was quickly straightening my hair, when I reached my bangs, all of a sudden my door slams open and I jump. That jump causes the burning curler to make contact with my eye. I’ve been used to burning my forehead or hand when straightening, so I thought my eye lid would be fine as well. My mom says there will be no straighteners in this house anymore , and sends me off to school. My eye is still burning so I wet a cloth but I stay quiet. The cloth soothes the burn, but my eye is watering and I can not keep it open.
The good thing is, since I was late my dad drove me and I made it to the last five minutes of homeroom. There my teacher asks what is wrong and I quickly tell her the events. She sends me to the nurse, even though I tell her the nurse won’t do anything.
When I go see the nurse, she yells at me that the curler must have touched the inside of my eye because there is red and something white was starting to cover my pupil. Instead of being alarmed, I said the first thing that came to my mind. Which now that I think of it, it was really silly and uncalled for. I said, Can I go after my Italian test next period? She laughs and calls my mother and I already know it really is the end of my straightener era.
After a long wait, I see the doctor, and he shines this big purple light infront of me. This thick gel ointment is put in my eye and he says do not blink while he holds my eye open and takes a tool to remove the obstruction to my eye. When he finds out how the accident happened,he says it’s okay to go home, recommends us seeing an eye doctor and tells my mom no straightener for awhile.
Since then, no accident has happened and I’ve quit straightening my hair, only because Its too time consuming and I’m lazy.

 

“Joseph?” the professor asked out loud to confirm the presence of one of the twenty plus students listed on the printed copy his roster. “Joseph?” he asked again after being left without a response the first time he asked. The entire class, myself included, looked around for the person to which this name belonged. “Alright, not here I guess” he said before he moved on to the next name on his list and pretty soon he got to them all. At first, I thought that I didn’t hear my name get called simply because I just didn’t hear him the first time. This of course was a possibility as I did have my headphones over my ears. But then I realized that I heard every other name that was called so that couldn’t have been it. It was only after I went through all the other possibilities that began to consider that the “Joseph” he was asking for a moment ago was me. So now I’m sitting in my seat wondering what had possessed this man to randomly choose my first name to be the one that he would skipped over. It wasn’t that hard to pronounce. And while I know that my name isn’t exactly common its close enough to what’s considered correct that he could’ve a least tried to guess. This was almost as bad as never getting to see my name on gift shop items.

My darkest hours are not what everyone makes them out to be

They aren’t dark to begin with, since they normally happen underneath the fluorescent lighting in a classroom

My state of mind fluctuates like tides rising and lowering

All to come crashing down when time has passed

My body aches as the blood running through my vein feels like needles

With every pulse I make, it plays as an empty picture runs through my mind

My heart pounds in between my ears as I’ve now fully entered an alternate world of hell

I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay, I’ll be Okay……I’m okay

The arms of anxiety swoops down and cradles me in the moments I least expect it

It indulges off of my littlest fears and thoughts so she can exploit me

She doesn’t let me eat, sleep, think, or move. I am lifeless.

She then pours my emotions down my throat and forces me to not speak a single word.

Then anxiety will pull back my hair from my ears and whisper every little mistake or worry I’ve had

I cannot help but to listen to her voice, I’m in envy of whatever she tells me. Her voice is like a clock that ticks in my mind which rewinds back to all of my memories

It’s an evil hypnosis she’s done. I recall my memories from the entire week, however she reiterates the little worries and mistakes I’ve done so far.

Tears drop to my lap as my eyes swell with the images of my pathetic self

I imagine my life without my condition

I think of a life id would’ve been able to fulfill without, a life I wouldn’t have missed out on from weeks in hospitals and hours in therapy sessions

My mother would no longer need to live through these my traumatic experience, my brother on the other hand wouldn’t have to ponder on the horrors in this world.

Spot all the red things in this room, I tell myself.

I breathe and slowly begin to try and take my mind off.

My fingers intertwine with one another as I count the sweaters, fire alarm, pencil, and shoes, as slowly as possible.

I was not born to deal with this, I tell myself.

I will not let my traumatic history define me. For I have conquered it all by being still alive today.

I will love my body till the end of time since this is the only body I’ll be able to live in.

I feel pain

But pain is only temporary.

An excerpt from Matthew McConaughey’s acceptance speech for Best Actor at the 2014 Oscars.

There’s a few things, about three things to my count, that I need each day. One I need something to look up to, another something to look forward to, and another is someone to chase. Now first off I want to thank God, because that’s who I look up to. To my family, that’s who and what I look forward to.

And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now, when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say, “Who is your hero?” And I said I don’t know, I gotta think about that, give me a couple of weeks. I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says “Who’s your hero?” And so I thought about it and I said you know who it is, it’s me in 10 years.

So I turn 25, 10 years later that same person comes to me and goes “so are you a hero?” And I was like, not even close. No, no, no. She said “Why?” I said because my hero is me at 35. So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero is always 10 years away. I’m never going to beat my hero. I’m not going to obtain that, I know I’m not. And that’s just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever that is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we are chasing, to that I say amen. To that I say alright, alright, alright. And to that I say just keep living. Thank you.

I work at a Taco Bell. To put it simply, it’s one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. Somehow the most rude, disrespectful, and disgusting human beings make their way to Taco Bell and give me the worst of times. But although the place makes my hate for people in general grow, it has also taught me a lot of valuable lessons. For one, it’s taught me how to be patient. I’ve had customers spend 10 minutes at the drive thru window cancelling and re adding items to their order. But no matter how long it takes and how much it frustrates me, my tone has to be the same and I have to take their order with the utmost friendliness. Second, its taught me self-control, that no matter how much a customer is screaming and spitting in my face, I must not and will not ever talk back. But trust me when I say that the temptation is there. It doesn’t matter that I can think of 18 different ways to tell the customer to go fuck themselves, I keep that inside, because sometimes being a professional and an adult is the more important thing to do. And even though customers give me such a hard time, I still tie my apron around my neck and put the hat on and walk to work, and there is good reason for that. Because behind the register is a whole group of people that I no longer consider coworkers but rather, they have become friends. And these friends of mine not only make work fun, but also, they have taught me something invaluable to someone so reserved like myself. That sometimes it’s okay to rely on others. That asking for help doesn’t make you incompetent. That depending on others doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it’s a sign of strength and humility. That if you want to get anywhere in life, you can’t do it alone. Constantly relying only on yourself is a foolish thing to do. And that was something I really needed to learn. 

Bzz bzz

I wake to the brightness of my phone screen

And that blaring alarm that disrupts the most heavenly sleep I’ve ever felt

“5:25 WAKE UP NOW OR YOU’LL MISS THE TRAIN”

The day has begun.

But none the less, priorities.

I get ready and prepare to leave the house with one thing on my mind.

Something that I need to accomplish every day or I’ll face unimaginable scrutiny from my peers.

Something so essential to the success of my life both online and off.

Alas, the sunrise

“Cli-click”

The perfect angle for the perfect shot

“Good morning streaks *yellow heart emoji*

Streaks. The most pointless commitment I’ve ever made

Competing with people to see who can get the highest number,

Forcing me to come back day and night,

With no reward for my efforts

other than a fancy new emoji when we hit 100

one hundred days, of snapping back and forth.

Day by day, photo after photo;

We don’t even talk anymore.

From a pleasant conversation, to a green check and an S.

Is it worth it? You tell me.

“Goodnight streaks *purple heart*

Aaron Loffman

FRO

10/22/17

Monologue

I started playing basketball in the second grade and I’ve been playing ever since.

My older brother, although we’re not close, was the one who actually taught me how to play

Since then I played all through junior high and was part of a championship winning team

In high school, I got serious and started on my varsity team, but each time I joined a new team, I embarked on a new journey with new brothers

Being on various basketball teams is something I took for granted but definitely enjoyed and the brotherhood that is created through winning and losing with your team is an experience you never forget,

I’ll also never forget my first varsity game, as a freshman, heart pounding as I waited to be called off the bench,

Our team was up by 20 on senior night and it was time for the starters to get some rest,

I subbed in and on my first play received a pass and launched a three straight over the basket, humiliated.

I didn’t let it get me down as I kept playing and hit an easy lay-up shortly after,

and I’ll never forget my last game senior year, playing against the same team we lost to the year before, heart racing as I’m running my legs out as time runs out and the season is about to end.

We lost, but I continued to play in my gap year program in Israel going undefeated in a gap-year program league that ran on Thursday nights. Basketball will always be a significant part of my life.