Mrs. Dalloway Web

My mind map / web shows two aspects of Clarissa and how the different characters fit into them and slightly intermingle. The two aspects I was able to divide Clarissa and the characters up was by mental state and love.

Clarissa’s love life isn’t going too well with Richard Dalloway, even though they are married, she doesn’t feel a special connection between them. On top of that he doesn’t recognize her acute depression, as hes at Parliament most of the time rather than with her. Clarissa, however, felt an intimate connection with Sally, which she didn’t feel with her husband. Peter Walsh fits into this map since he was her ex boyfriend / lover and still loves her even though she doesn’t feel the same. They ended it since they choose different paths to follow, and their interests, lifestyles, and choices didn’t intersect.

Clarissa’s mental state is most similar to that of Septimus. They both are suffering a depression that others don’t seem to recognize and validate. Septimus is suffering from PTSD where he is a world that revolves around him, everything that happens suddenly focuses on him and that makes him slightly paranoid and disconnected from society. Clarissa is in a similar state where she also lost touch with who she used to be.

Connected to Septimus is his wife, who doesn’t understand his depression and detachments. I added her into this web since this is similar to Richard who does the same to Clarissa, making them connected.

 

As Sadia left her house and started towards Lafayette, she noticed that her annoying neighbor decided to block the sidewalk with his floral sofas and broken coffee table. She turned and talked towards the bus stop, everyone’s Halloween decorations seemed to disappear, being replaced  by autumn colored decor that matched the new layer of fallen leaves. Halloween just ended this weekend, how can people move on so quickly? Waiting for the bus, Beatrice Carmichael, already there, plays her daily game and starts staring at Sadia. Its nothing new for Sadia, this happened practically everyday since high school, from the bus stop, throughout the bus ride, all till the train stop. Finally on the train, Sadia notices that the train isn’t going express as it should be. Oh its going to express from Hunts Point to 3rd Ave-138th St, great just just as it should be. At 28th St, people started rampaging out of the train towards the turnstiles, pushing and shoving Sadia as she tried to get to the turnstiles as well. Quit pushing me in I’m no rush. Reaching the top of the station’s stairs, Sadia took a look around at the bright light bouncing off the buildings in front of her, there was barely anyone around anymore. Wow where did everyone suddenly go? Such then such a peaceful walk to Baruch.

After walking around practically all of the 5th floor of MoMA, I came across this painting among a series of three paintings by Umberto Boccioni named States of Mind. This was the second in series, called whose who go. This painting caught my attention because it was dark in real life, and the faces initially were not very visible until I looked a but harder.

I feel like this painting reflects so much of people’s lives, especially “those who go” and leave your life. When someone leaves someone else’s life, no matter how happy you may feel like you may be, I feel like there is still that sense of unhappiness and void in you. I left so many people, and so many have left my life, and honestly when i think about it those times seem dark to me and those are often times I don’t like to remember. (Its a different story if two people just slowly drifted apart over time, I’m referring to when you get into a fight or you are so fed up with someone that they abruptly leave your life.)

This painting is very mystical. Along with it being in the dark, it portrays heavy rainfall. Usually in heavy rainfall, it becomes very difficult to see where things are doing and you are often steered to an alternate angle, even if you are trying to just walk in a straight path. The faces in this painting seem hazy, blurred by the rain, and also they express glum emotions. From the looks of it, above the portraits near the center of the board, it seems as though a mosaic ship was painted on, with white/gray clouds above it. If that’s the case, the painting could be of heavy rain on a oceanic journey, with high wild tides, with passengers (who’s faces are portrayed). These passengers could have left and escaped from something, untold, and now because of the high rides and rough sea, the passengers have officially left… earth.”Those who go”.

https://instagram.com/p/2J1CgCtdxv/?taken-by=supasadia

Pelham Bay Park

The monkeys said, to each other, “we didn’t know where this water comes from. Since we have nothing to do today, let us follow the stream up to its source to have some fun.” “Reaching its source, they found a great waterfall.” (Journey to the West)

This station is the ultimate source of my exploration, from whether i am going to school or simply to a distant part of NYC that I never even knew about. What better way to show adventure and “reaching” a source than to show what brings us to the destination. On my way to Baruch College, I can simply look out the window of the train and see all the passing stations, places, and faces of all the others going on their “adventures” to their destination. This quote from Journey to the West defines how to feel about the MTA, especially the stop I get on the trains, if i have nothing to do, then I simply take the train and transfer at a different stop than where I usually do, so I can end up at places that didn’t even exist to me until that moment, and no matter where I end up going, even school, every destination for me is an adventure of some sort.

 

https://instagram.com/p/1OZZCytdz3/?taken-by=supasadia

Underground Train Stations (Ex. 86th St on the Lexington Ave Line)

“Here, O Sariputra, form is emptiness and the very emptiness is form; emptiness does not differ from form, form does not differ from emptiness…” (The Heart Sutra)

Emptiness has a new definition with The Heart Sutra, rather than the usual negative connotation, here emptiness refers to a label-less and non judgmental perspective on daily aspects. Underground, you can see all sorts of people with the widest background variety, none of which judges the others. You will see homeless people sleeping, begging through the trains, children being escorted by their parents, kids going on class trips, couples of all sorts, entertainers such as drummers, singers, and performers, sleepy business folk, you name it you’ll find it looking out the windows of a train. I chose this quote by The Heart Sutra because it shows how New Yorkers have a empty perspective, all the people are on the train together and we are all equal.

 

https://instagram.com/p/1zUQT0tdxB/?taken-by=supasadia

Baruch College/ Gramercy District

“I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars” (Song of Myself)

This quote exemplifies my final destination on my journey to school, Baruch College in the Gramercy District. This quote shows that the small aspects of life is nothing less than the bigger things in life. Usually when people go to school, they mindlessly follow their muscle memory and walk to Baruch to attend their classes and then potentially leave after their day ends, however this location is much more to me. Although its such a small area in NYC, Gramercy provides a place for me to expand and learn about the small things in life, just like the small hidden theaters, the many delis that are turned into shadows by the large corporations and building surrounding them.

 

Photos taken by yours truly, SupaSadia.