Jean Jacques Rousseau write that “man will never learn what befits a man except under its own conditions”. What is education if we can’t make use out of it? Although education is unique for everyone, it is undoubtedly that practical use is the ultimate goal. In order to illustrate this claim, this essay will look first at how Emile learns through a relevant education in Emile: or A Treatise on Education Selections by Jean Jacques Rousseau. Then, it will discuss the schooling method Jose experiences in Black Shack Alley by Joseph Zobel. Making this connection helps to clearly see the different effects the two education results in, thus understand the importance of proper setting for the education of a child.
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What’s Good:
Your quote for the hook is compelling.
You are very clear with your roadmap part of your thesis. I know exactly what this paper wants to look at.
Concerns:
Your transition seems to go too broad. The quote is great, but it’s also a lot. I would rather you follow it with a statement about what you think it means or how you want us to read it rather than a question that opens up even wider and away from the quote.
So I think you picked the kind of thesis that I said works better for your education philosophy than for your paper. For this assignment you needed to use one theory text and one literary text, which is good. However your “it” should be some specific part of the literary or theory text. Your thesis should basically be how the text that isn’t quite your “it” helps us to read some part of your “it” text differently or more deeply.
Your thesis is rooted outside the texts. You say “…it is undoubtedly that practical use is the ultimate goal [of education]. In order to illustrate this claim, …” Then you are using Rousseau and Black Shack Alley as examples, which is more of what you do for the philosophy of education write up.
I think you have two very good texts, but I need you to formulate a thesis that’s about the conversation between these two texts, a thesis where the stakes are really about how we understand one or both of these texts.