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5 Friendly Reminders that you are a Parent, not a Coach

December 2nd, 2014 Written by | Comments Off on 5 Friendly Reminders that you are a Parent, not a Coach

Coach Jim Traynor, that’s him with the “Mr. Hockey” himself, Gordie Howe;  that picture was taken over 25 years ago. The clever sign on the right was taken this past weekend, while Traynor was traveling with his 14-and-under youth hockey team in Eastern Canada, he posted the photo to his Facebook page.

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 3.28.51 PM

The sign says “Your child’s success or lack of success in sports does not indicate what kind of parent you are. But having an athlete that is coachable, respectful,  a great teammate, mentally tough, resilient and tries their best IS a direct reflection of your parenting.” Traynor said “every parent needs to read and understand this”, and he’s dead serious. The writing is literally on the wall, if this isn’t a reality-check for the most intolerable parents, then here’s five more.


1. Its amazing how far parents will go to support their children in athletics, bravo! Having said that, while attending your child’s next athletic event, back off and enjoy the game. Video ads courtesy of Hockey Canada puts parents in there kid’s shoes.



2.  A new piece of legislation will be introduced next year that will enact penalties for anyone who attacks a referee at any sanctioned event at any level in New Hampshire. So lets leave the ref’s alone. USA Hockey hangs these posters in ice rinks across the nation.

angryfather_e_lr relax1 relax2


3. The fine print states: “If you don’t understand this, please contact the ice department. We would be happy to explain it to you!” What are they trying to say, my son isn’t going to be a Chicago Blackhawk? 

Funny sign


4. A beautiful poem.


5. HBO Sports covers the topic of violence against referees in youth sports. According to the documentary, every year in the United States, a referee will be killed on duty. Here, you can access the full length documentary.


Lets address the negative attention drawn from youth sports; its simple, bad sportsmanship at youth athletic events is unacceptable.  A happy medium between the competitive will-to-win and exemplifying first class sportsmanship is the primary duty of youth coaches everywhere, not parents. We want character and athletic growth from our young hockey players. So, understand there will be missed calls, cheap hits, and over-bearing parents. All of these issues ought to be worked out by the coaches, who should have a working re-pore with the officials.

Here is some helpful literature on parents role in youth hockey, provided by Hockey Canada

Tags: Hockey Management