FRO12 LC16

There are three-hundred and sixty days in a year and all of those days hold some importance to each and every one of us if we introspect and retrospect about them. However, reflecting back upon every single day and coming up with many resolutions seems nearly impossible to do. Atleast for me, I seem to forget about things I did a few days back. But, the days I can’t seem to forget about and remember forever are the days when I used to go to Boston to my cousin’s house for Christmas every winter. As a little kid, we all held the belief that Santa was real up to a certain point. This belief stayed with me for quite a while because of the way me and my cousins used to celebrate it. I still remember the holiday season hit around the corner and me and my sister would get excited and pumped up to go up to Boston on our mini- road trip. We seemed to be so excited that we would bug our parents in the car just to know how much time was left literally every ten minutes. Once we got close to our destination, we could immediately call my cousins letting them know of our arrival as if we were the royal family awaiting a spectacular welcoming. As we rushed out of the car, we took our bags and headed straight to the porch and knocked like maniacs on the front door of my cousin’s house. As the door opened, as I still picture the moment, our faces grew with excitement and we shared hugs. We strolled along the path into the house up to the Christmas Tree greeted by all out uncles and aunts as if we were walking down the red carpet. The night of Christmas Eve, to me, was the most memorable. Me and my cousins were sent up to the room and were demanded to go to sleep and were not allowed downstairs. Meanwhile, now coming to an understanding, my uncles would do the Christmas proceedings and “rituals.” The next morning, we all found our way down to the Christmas Tree and were extremely delighted to open our gifts and presents. This to me, as I still remember, was the greatest time of the year, being with my family.

7:50 A.M. Political Science. Pshhh. See I’ve always had this issue with punctuality and I’ve only been able to make it on time to that class ONCE. That was the night I didn’t sleep. 5 hour energy anyone? Back in high school I used to wake up 5:30 in the A.M. Now that it’s college, I blame aging. Then again I was late to my kindergarten graduation. No worries though I made it in time to walk with my class. Some things never change I guess.

So stubborn. I should go to bed at eleven. I don’t knock out till one. Finally asleep.    BZZZ. BZZZ. WHO THE HELL IS TEXING ME AT QUARTER TO FOUR!! I don’t care that you’ve finally gotten home after bar hopping all night. Now you decide to respond to my text, wonderful. Being the considerate person I am I have to respond and listen to your stories. 4:15. Okay, no more texting. I tell you don’t be late to class. You say the same. Goodnight.

What do you know. I’m standing outside my class 8:20 I check my phone. Oh well, 30 minutes late. Not too bad.

Work tomorrow and Saturday, college today at 5 am leaves only Sunday for myself. But another midterm is coming up and the review sheet is up so do I study this Sunday or relax because I had the midterm today? I think it’s a better choice to wait until next week to start the review sheet so that all the information is continuous. Life now seems to have three destinations only : home, college, work. When I’m at home I’m either thinking of school or work, and if I want to watch a movie, my minds wanders off and wonders whether  I should be studying. After all, aren’t you supposed to study for 2 hours for every 1 hour in class, or is that just what they say? I guess next week it is for studying and this Sunday I will have some fun. I hope it’s not cold on Sunday so that I can play handball but if it is, then I can watch a movie.  Well that’s Sunday but what about today? It’s Thursday and so the clubs will be there today but not the ones that I want to go to. Why is there no table tennis club set up yet? I just want to play the beautiful game and beat some people. Thinking of clubs makes me angry because Mr.Messner has still not replied to my email. How much does a guy have to do to set up a new club? I just want to start the cricket club so that Baruch can compete in the American College Cricket. I don’t want to go to his office for the sixth time, especially after waiting for him 2 hours and 30 minutes that last time. Maybe I should try out for another team but then what about the next season of cricket?  Too much on mind makes me want to play cricket even more or maybe I should get a new game. Time seems more valuable now than it did ever before so is a videogame worth the time? Everything I do seems to have a question to it now, I don’t like it.

I am Anthony. Anthony Bontatibus. WHAT KIND OF LAST NAME IS THAT? It is from Julius Caesar’s time in Italy. Pretty cool right? That is my actual name and who I am most of the time, but the rest of the time I am Tony Bonton. Easier on the tongue, right? Tony comes out when he needs to and sometimes when he shouldn’t. This person comes out more when there is some help involved. This usually is due to the fact of drinking a certain kind of liquid. And this liquid is a catalyst for Tony. Once he starts he can’t stop. He is a monster, but a lovable monster. When Tony talks, everyone hears. He makes his voice boom and can be heard at all times. If you hear someone yell YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAA, don’t think twice, it’s Tony Bonton. Please don’t get into an argument with Tony because he won’t stop untill he proves without a doubt that he is right, and surprisingly he usually is. Tony is never violent, unless it is to himself. He falls, stumbles and even wobbles, but the best thing he does is hug. Hug, hug hug. He loves hugging everyone. Why? Because he loves everyone. This is perfect because everyone loves him, even if it is just in his mind. He wears his feelings on his sleeve and does not hesitate to open up. This is a good thing because I am very shielded and I don’t let anyone know what I am truly feeling. Tony is very trusting, just do not trust him with a task. He will decide to do it the craziest way or at least the way that he will have the most fun doing it. Some people say Tony is a problem, but after a while they realize that he is the solution. There is never a dull moment with him. He strives to be the center of attention so no situation is awkward and everyone keeps laughing. Tony may be the center of attention, but he is a community guy. He is in it for everyone else. If there is someone in the group that isn’t having a good time, then Tony isn’t having a good time. He will go out of his way to make sure everyone is having fun and thinks about himself last. If you hang out with Tony, you will have the best time. There is another motive to this monster and that motive is called girls. GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. He LOVES girls. The problem is they do too. In the club dancing, don’t be surprised to see Tony in the middle with some girl, turn your head, he is with another one. I guess you can say this is one of his weaknesses, but it really is one of his strengths. Tony does not want to even know the girls name, he just wants to have a good time and move on to the next. Tony will never change, but one night he was. Tony found someone who is exactly like him. A Tonnet you could say. She is as crazy as him, and wouldn’t be surprised to see her dancing on a table and making a party scene. She is the party, and so is he. They started off being crazy together, making the times as great as ever and were called the party friends. One drunken night, these party friends caught each others eyes and out of nowhere realized, damn, we are the same person………..and he liked that. The night winds down and they end up in her bed staring at each other, then out of nowhere they kiss. And kiss and kiss and then kiss some more. The feeling was indescribable. Then before they knew, it was light out at 7 AM and so they went to sleep. When I woke up and Tony went dormant, I looked over and saw her. There she was laying right next to me. I tried to remember what Tony did last night and all i could remember was her. I distinctively remember Tony saying “I can not have sex with you”. Why did he say that? I thought for a little bit and it came to me. Maybe this was the one. The one where she wasn’t a one night thing, but that is not Tony. What was wrong with him? But Tony had a feeling, a feeling he hasn’t had in quite some time. Still laying next to her, I see her wake up. What do I do? Does she even remember? Does she feel the same? She catches my eye, grabs my head and plants one on my lips. That was it for me. Ever since that night Tony has never been the same. Tony is the same Tony, but he doesn’t look at girls the same way. He doesn’t go out and hook up with 5 girls in the same night. He still goes out, gets crazy, causes problems, but now he has a part to him now that helps him balance everything else. He is not tempted by any girls because he already has the best one. Tony the player, the one who uses girls, the one who looks at every girl, has now slowed his role due to the fact of one very drunken night. That night was amazing because it has lead to my happiness. Tony Bonton will always be Tony Bonton. He will never fully change. Tony is a monster, but the monster is tame…for now………..

Where will I be in 5 years? How should I know? I could have my college degree and be living on my own in a nice apartment, or even a huge house! Will I have a good salary? I surely hope I’d be living comfortably. 5 whole years, that’s tons of time! Enough time to become an Actuary like I’d planned! I could be done with all of the actuary exams… or I could’ve just started taking them. Who knows where the world will take me in 5 years? Maybe I’ll totally change my mind and just become a chef! I mean I’ve always loved food and cooking is just so much fun. Hm, 5 years, huh? I wonder if I’ll finally be able to pass my road test! Oh I just can’t wait to get my license and be able to drive whenever I please! And I’ll definitely need a car! What kind of car will I have? A beautiful Cadillac? Or maybe a simple Honda to get me by. Only time will tell where the world takes me after 5 long years, but one thing I can guarantee is that where ever it is, I’ll be 5 years closer to my dreams.

Five minutes. Three months. One year. Eighteen years. All I did was blink and now I’m in college. How did that even happen? And now all everyone seems to ask is “What do you wanna be?” “What do you wanna do for the rest of your life?” Well, unlike most incoming freshmen I know what I wanna do. I’m gonna become a CPA. Duhh. I’ve been certain about that for the past two years and if my mind still hasn’t changed then I think I’m going the right way. I came to the right school for it too. Even though it wasn’t my first choice. If only I went to Fordham! But colleges just love robbing us, so I was forced to pick the cheaper one. But you know what? I’m happy with my decision cause I love being in the city. But what if four years down the road I decide I don’t wanna be an accountant anymore. What then? All my time wasted learning about a major that’s not even gonna be useful to me. How would I tell my parents I don’t wanna do it anymore when I’ve been convincing them that I did. I would never hear the end of it. Why do we even have to decide so soon what we have to do when we’re old. I’m only 18. And I’m supposed to be an “adult”. I feel like im 5 though. Mom still doing my laundry and making my dinner. If I cant even do my own laundry, how in the world am I supposed to know what I’m going to be for the rest of my life.

Aww man. What to do?! So I should? Should I not? Do I want? Can I do this again better? Am I right or wrong?

Pause. Deep Breath. Then I hit send/submit or print or give my answer.  Before  I know it that’s it…it’s done, a thing of the past, maybe you’ll read about it somewhere or somehow in the future. Then the the real question hits me, so what now? Ever so quickly do the second guessing thoughts make their way back into my mind. Burying me in a hole of self doubt. But wait, what’s that?, a light, two little words, coming closer and closer…BAM.

That’s it!

It is finished, it is over, it will not be changed. The consequences will catch up to you. Oh please let them be good.

It might be like that time I got ripped off on that burger, smelled good, had nice toppings, but 8 dollars, you gotta be kidding. But sadly my senses defeated me. My wallet cried, part of it was missing and becoming further and further away. Maybe I should have bought dollar slice pizza. Well, you know what they say… I don’t, but I do know That’s It. Consequences included rationing the rest of my spending money that week.

Once I get to the goal, the plays I made to get there don’t mean a thing, its about the here-and-now. “GO, don’t hesitate”, easier said than done little cricket on my shoulder. I make a choice and I don’t look back. Walk away and THAT’s IT!

I don’t want to get up. It’s Monday. My class starts at 9:30. I hate waking up at 5:30. It still looks like night time and it’s sooo cold. I just want to hide under my warm blanket. Why do I have to commute all the way from Long Island? Why are my parents too cheap to let me take the LIRR, unlike other Long Islanders who commute? It’ll make my life so much easier. I hate taking one bus and three trains every Monday and Wednesday. I mean, what’s the point of having a 9:30 class if I have to wake up at 5:30?

At least let me make coffee so I don’t fall asleep in class. Oh my god! My bus leaves in 5 minutes! No time for coffee, I have to leave the house NOW! Eww it’s so cold! Gosh, why are there so many people on the bus? Seriously, who takes the bus at 7 in the morning? I want to sit down and sleep! Holy Jesus, why did the bus just stop so suddenly? Does the driver know how to drive? It would have been really awkward if I just bumped into that man.
Time to get off. Yes! I caught an F train! It’s my lucky day. I’ll be at Baruch 50 minutes early! Oh dear, why is the train stopping for 10 minutes at every stop? Why is it moving so slow? Does the driver know this is an F express train? Why is he going even slower than a local train? It’s definitely a newbie driver. Gosh, you’re going to make me late.

Ooh, I like those girl’s heels. Are they Louboutins? Or are they Jeffrey Campbell? She’s definitely rich. Eww, but what’s with that color? I’d rather get a pair in royal blue. They match everything. Ugh, since the train’s moving so slow, let me just take a nap. Oh my… It’s already 8:45?! This always happens. When you think you’re sleeping for 5 minutes at home or even on the train, it ends up being an hour. But when you think you’re sleeping for 5 minutes in class, it really ends up being 5 minutes. Crap, I still have to transfer to 2 more trains! Can this train move any slower?

You know what? Since the M train is here, I’ll take that instead of the R train today. It should be faster than this F train that doesn’t even know it’s running on express. Let’s see. Ok, so I get off on 53rd and transfer to the 6th train. Perfect. Wait. It’s not any better than that F train I just took. Is today a holiday or something? What’s going on with these trains? Finally, I’m on the 6th train. Yes, at least this train is moving like it’s supposed to. Open the door, open the door, open the door. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late. Run, run, run! Oh my god, all these slow people, move out of my way! Uh oh, it’s 9:27! How much I wish time just stopped at this moment.
Yes! An elevator! Too many people! Sorry guys, I have to get on this one. Squeeze in.
I’m in class! At 9:34! *Panting!

Tuesday, October 16h, 2012
My alarm rings at 6:00 AM. I check my phone, and almost instantly press snooze. I start trying to fall back asleep realizing it’s that time already where I have to attempt to leave my house about 1 hour and 20 minutes before class, which would be 6:20. Everyday is a different battle. I snooze every ten minutes until 6:30 everytime, unless I need to shower. If I need to shower (which means I didn’t shower the night before out of laziness, which is everyday anyways) I need to be up by 6:20. Once again, I never am. I put clothes on, go to the powder room, fix my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, blow my nose, get my backpack and pocket items.I have the same setup for everyday. My keys and Wallet go into my left pocket, and my phone goes into my right. I have a Blackberry Bold 9900 for anyone that wonders. Anyways, I leave my house, and then I have to battle another issue, whether or not to buy a loosie for the rest of the walk. the closest loosie store that’s open at this time, which is almost always 7 AM ish, give or take 5 minutes. No matter what the day, I end up buying it. The loosie store is 3 avenues 1 street away from me, brooklyn blocks. I buy it and have 1 avenue, 3 streets too finish it, perfect timing. I make it down the 86th ST Station. Almost every single time, the train is leaving as I’m paying for my fare, swiping my card, or running down the steps. Speaking of running down the steps, one day i was raining, and I had an umbrella in one hand, half opened as I struggled to close it, while I was listening to music. I finally got it into my bag, took out my wallet to get my card when realized I saw a lady swiping into the revolving doors really fast which made me realize I was about to miss the train. I took out my metro card into my right hand and held the wallet into my left and swiped very fast. I then preceded to make it down the staircase particularly fast for a rainy day. I slept a third of the way through the steps, slid down the rest, bouncing on my ass. My back was burning and I was thanking life that I didn’t hit my head. That instant I realized the train was riding away. I got really mad. I went to sit down, and then checked my wallet for my ID’s and stuff. AT this time, I had always kept my Baruch ID in a compartment where you can’t see it unless you search for it when you open the wallet. I remembered that I decided to move it to the visible part, but forgot I decided that and kept it in the part I wouldn’t be able to see it in (try to keep up). So when I open my wallet, since I saw only my chase card, I thought I didn’t lose anything (I thought it was in the hidden part. The next R instantly comes (making me feel even more stupid) and I get on. Only two stops did I realize my money was gone, my Baruch ID was gone, and my metro card was completely bent and couldn’t be used anymore.
ANYWAYS, I wait for the R which almost always takes at least 6 minutes. It comes and I take it 3 stops to 59th street. From there I get out and wait for the N train. 20% of the time it’s already in the station waiting for that R, and the rest of the times it takes at least 7 minutes. I almost always only just make it to the first stop in manhattan when class has started, no later though, if anything it’s earlier, which is the only good thing in any of this. I get off at 23rd ST in Manhattan, and walk to the VC. I take the elevators then the escalators to the 11th floor, walk down to the 10th, and go to class, so enjoyable.I sit in class and try very hard to pay attention, which works most of the time. 25 minute break, then a history class where I have not once payed attention. That’s my last class. I take the train home, hang around anywhere for 15 to 30 minutes. My girlfriend meets me, we go to her house, I eat food, cuddle, relax/hangout, her mom comes. We hangout in her room doing random stuff like watching movies. At 10 ish I leave and go home, use my computer till usually 1AM, then sleep and repeat. The end

I’m not sure if anyone that the first day of Fro Class we all wrote a word that describes how we feel at the moment on a sticker and we passed it around and had to write about it, because I forgot until I got it back. My monologue is from that day.

Active. The word that I was given was active. The irony is that, active is the complete opposite of how I feel. Right now, I’m tired and sleepy. The more I stare at the word active, the sleepier I get. I feel like it’s hitting me. Even the font that was used looks extremely active. Where does that person get such energy?! I looked around the room and no one seems active. I wonder who wrote this little lie on this paper.

I wonder how people think about me. Well it doesn’t matter because I know who I am.

I am Korean. I am 18. I am Christian. I am loved. I am a student. I am musical.

I am ambitious. I am compassionate for this world. I am proud.

I am hard working. I am studious. I am always thinking.

I am passionate. I am always moving. I am sociable.

I am interactive. I am talkative. I am what I am.

I am Kim Jang Goon.

I am Me.

Imagine this in a upside down triangular shape which represents the “general broad” idea of who i am into something deeper.

This picture represents who i am because my identity stems from religion(Christianity)

Alarm wakes me up. Oh my, God, I don’t want to wake up. It’s Tuesday, I have a 7:50 a.m. class, so I have to get up by 5:50. Ew. Political science is my first class. Then I have history. I get up feeling really groggy. Its SOOOOOOOOOOOO early. Why did I chose this retched schedule? At least I end at 10:45 today. I have to brush my teeth. Aquafresh, here I come. I finish in the bathroom and now I have to put my makeup on. Mascara first. Eyeliner. Then, foundation. Have to get dressed. I go back to my room, which holds the comfort and call of my soft, warm bed. 6:30. I have to leave in 20 minutes. I get dressed. Shirt. Pants. Boots. My hair, my stupid hair, needs doing. My bangs need straightening. My curls need gelling. I reach for the Garnier, its sticky. I heat up the straightener. I straighten my bangs. Time to leave. I grab my dad, and we walk to the car. He drives me from my house until the B train stop on Brighton Beach. I get on the express B, but it runs like a snail. So much for express. Finally, I get to the bridge. Is this the Brooklyn or the Manhattan bridge, I wonder every day. I get to the other side of the river in a jiffy. 2 stops in, and I get off on Broadway-Lafayette. I run up the escalator to get to the uptown 6 train, which always, for some reason, is just leaving as I get off the escalator, EVERY DAY!!! I have to walk all the way down the long platform full of tourists and lower east siders, who hate the tourists. I always laugh silently at that relationship. The 6 train comes. I get on that train, and 2 stops later comes Union Square with its hoard of people that are taking the uptown 6. They fill in like a mob, leaving me little elbow room. The next stop, thank God, is mine. 23rd street. I get to Baruch, I slide my ID 10 times before the turnstile finally lets me in. I get to the 11th floor. I walk out and I remember that my class is on 10th, and take the stairs. I get to my class and learn about Political Science. My class finally, after what feels like hours, ends at 9:05. I go to Starbucks across the street, and get my grande iced black tea lemonade and my chicken santa fe panini. Turnstile, we meet again! I get to the 3rd floor and sit in the almost too comfortable chairs, which set up a perfect space to sleep. I fight on, I don’t sleep. I take notes. And then it ends at 10:45 and once more I meet the 6 train and then go home to my warm, soft, comfortable bed.

Okay, I got this. I know the lirr schedule and I know which train I need to take to get to Baruch. My friend, Karen, just sent me all different ways to get to Baruch from Penn Station and my aunt did the same. I am so nervous, this is going to be my first time going to Manhattan by myself. I don’t want to get lost in Manhattan especially since I am bad with directions. I am so use to having my parents drive me to different places, I rarely take other transportation. Wooo! My friend just texted me and said she would meet me up at Penn Station and we can go to Baruch together. All my nervousness is slowly disappearing. I got all my stuff ready for tomorrow… ahh I need to sleep or I won’t be able to wake up. But I want to stay up a little bit more to talk to my friends. Why couldn’t we have the orientation around June it would be a lot nicer to have it then. I hope I can make friends during orientation. It sucks that Michele and I don’t have any classes together. I wonder if they are gonna introduce clubs to us and I hope it isn’t going to be boring. Please I hope no one is gonna lecture us and talk for hours about our future and how we should study. Just thinking about it makes me tired. Well…it’s getting late I should head to bed but before that I should do my devotion and pray.

Ah…It’s time to get up. Just five more minutes. Really just five more minutes. Damn…that went fast. Another five more minutes. I’ll just wear socks on the bus. No seriously just five more minutes. I can get breakfast when I get there. Okay if I don’t get up this time, I’m going throw myself out of the window. Oh wait…that’s not possible because I would have to get up in order to throw myself out of the window. Um should I starve myself to death? Should I stay in Limbo like that movie Inception? should I just pray to God that there would be a giant elephant in front of the campus so that the school would be canceled? or should I… Why am I doing this? What’s the meaning of life? How come I am not enjoying every minute every second of this great gift that I’ve been given? What am I going to be? How am I going to make a difference in this world like my mom told me to? You are pathetic, Jacob Lee. Shame on you. I thought you would take this opportunity to lead yourself to success. I thought you promised to yourself that you wouldn’t make the same mistake that you made in high school. What’s going on..? But at the same time, I really don’t see the point of taking some of these classes. Am I ever going to use that deontological point of view to decide whether or not I should buy meats at BJ’s? Am I ever going to question about the women in mid-17th Century? What do they want from me…………………….what do I want from myself? Wow, that’s profound. But let’s take it simple. I want a nice guitar…a vintage car…a mansion…a private jet…an island…So do you have to study? Yea I think you have to study. Actually I think you have to get up now. Ah…it’s 7. I’m going to be late.

They always ask “What do you want to do when you grow up?” “What do you want to do for the REST for your life?”
What do I want to be?
How am I supposed to know?! I’m only 18. For the past 18 years, the only things drilled into me were calculus, chemistry, the French Revolution and why Jane Doe’s shirt was blue in that book that put me sleep. All because one day, I’ll need to know how to find the integral of ln of x in order to save the world from nuclear destruction. Not!
How am I supposed to have the rest of my life figured out? Sometimes, I want to be a plumber. Then, the next day, I want to be a rock star, but the fact that I’m musically inept might cause a problem. Yesterday, I wanted to be a CEO and today I want to be a baker. I’d go broke from eating my own cookies though. Tomorrow, who knows what I’ll want to be. I definitely don’t want to be a doctor. Needles and pain freak me out. Nor do I want to spend the rest of my life going to school and paying off loans. I don’t want to be the president, not a lawyer, not an accountant and definitely not a teacher! Maybe, I’ll be a flight attendant. Travel the world and meet cool people. Wait! I think I might be too short to be a flight attendant! Ugh! How about a waitress, maybe a carpenter? Maybe I can be the next Trump and be a real estate tycoon and have like a lot of hotels. The Naomi Inn or the Kudaka Hotel. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it.
I haven’t made up my mind. Watch me change my major a gazillion times and never graduate. I mean, how am I supposed to know? Maybe, I’ll be a bum and free load off my parents for the next fifty years or so. Home cooked meals, shelter, no bills. Sounds like a plan. Kind of.No…
Sometimes, they’ll try to help. They’ll ask, “What do you like to do?” I don’t know. What every other 18 year old likes to do: eat, sleep, hang with friends and go on the internet. Find me a job that pays well where all I have to do is eat, sleep and have fun and I’ll be one happy camper. Till then, I’m looking forward to years of changing my major and never being certain of what I want to do for the rest of my life…

Wow. Cant wait till the party!! Our school throws the sickkestt parties wow and were going to michelles tonight cant wait!?   Ding. Well. Looks like I have a text… from Mat- “what are you doing tonight?” Wow why did it have to be me? Other kids would just be free to enjoy themselves and know their going to have a good night. Why me? All because other kids in my school didn’t enjoy him and thought he was annoying so what should I tell him? I don’t know yet?? If I tell him to come to Michelles then everyone is going to give me shit for it. But he’s a nice kid.  Hes innocent I mean he didn’t do anything wrong to anybody. Just goes to different school does his work and comes home. He needs some friends but why do I have to be stuck in this huge ethical dilemma? The girls didn’t like him- they thought he was annoying. Ugh if I bring him then that would really ruin my chances to talking or spending the night with Pamela. Feel bad though as I say these things. His friends treat him like crap in his school. Hey Adam. Wake up alittle man. Wake up and see maybe this is a sign from G-d. Why is he asking me out of all the people about what I’m doing. He could’ve asked Aaron, Jeremy (well he did ask him but he was a huge bitch and ignored him), Andrew, ariel etc. I asked Bob what I should do and he said I don’t knowww man he cant be hanging out with us all the time all year around we don’t go to school. He asked me. Why me? I told him eventually what we were doing and he felt embarresed and didn’t feel comfortable coming. This question of Why did he ask me haunted me for a few nights and it hit me. I am nice and easy and friendly. He can trust me even though we aren’t such close friends. He wants to be friendly just like me and be part of my friends. He cares about me. Not a lot of people like that you can find nowadays. I am special and so is he. I start bringing him out, he starts coming out and gaining more friends and more people that care for him. His mom thanks me till this day that I changed her son’s life forever and I am really to thank for. My answer- nope. He changed me. He made me realize my true great characteristics and made me realize that some people are worth to care for and be friends with. Mat is now my great friend.

Time? Time, time, time……tick tock,  tick tock, the clock doesn’t stop, doesn’t go any slower for you, doesn’t go any faster. Most of the time it won’t be friendly, you can’t ask it for favors, you can’t sit and talk, it won’t wait. It’s evenly unjust to everyone nobody gets special treatment. Time is one of those things we all wish there was a stop for. There are times where we wish it were slower, like those mornings you are running late and you still have a million things to do before you walk out of the house and then the subway seems to know you needed to get on that train that you just missed because all of a sudden there are delays. You wish that time would slow down, and then we you have those endless nights where you have to finish that 15 page paper and have 12 hours to accomplish it. How you wish that time and you were on better terms because only then will you have time to finish and sleep, it’s one or the other but never both. It’s not always like this though, you have those times where you are awaiting that moment, that day, that year. Oh my gosh… I can’t wait to turn 21 or the weekend needs to hurry up, or my favorite “10 more minutes of class, 5 more minutes of class, 3 more minutes, 2 more minutes, 1 minute, 1/2 a minute……she is keeping us over 1 minute” We always want two different extremes, if we don’t want time to go faster then we want it to go slower, my oh my why can’t we make up our minds. In the end though we all know that time won’t , sure there are times where those 5 minutes seem endless and then there are times where those 5 minutes are crucial. You can’t buy it, there are no refunds, no exchanges, no rain checks; it’s a final sale so be careful the way you use it because life goes on around you and there’s no going back. As cliche as it sounds make every possible second count, go out, explore, enjoy, learn because in the end it’s a one shot deal and whatever you chose to do with it is permanent. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock; it’s a never ending ticking and tocking but what you do between those ticks or those tocks can be something you might never have the chance to do again.