Space:
- What is compelling about the rhetoric, style, or argument?
The most compelling aspect of this portion of the essay is the fact that the beginning is very descriptive. As a result of the heavy description, I am able to better visualize the ideal outdoor environment the students in this group envision when they think of outdoor space for Baruch.
- What is not as compelling about the rhetoric, style, argument or any other aspect of the writing?
I do not think Union Square Park should be mentioned in this section. This is due to the fact that it deters from the main argument the group is trying to make by providing Baruch’s administrators with a free alternative to actually building a campus in the city.
- What commonalities does this section have with either or both of the other sections?
This section is similar to the other sections in tone. Instead of being aggressive, the people in this group decided to use reason in order to motivate the administration to make a change.
- What kinds of language or mechanical issues need to be fixed? You may also include points, sentences, phrases, and words that you find confusing.
“Tuition, fees, and donations are…”
Dorms- Shuttle Bus Plan:
- What is compelling about the rhetoric, style, or argument?
This group did a good job at explaining the benefits of having dorms. Instead of going straight to why we should have a shuttle bus, bashing the current dorm situation at Baruch makes the shuttle bus option sound like a better alternative.
- What is not as compelling about the rhetoric, style, argument or any other aspect of the writing?
I believe this group needs to work more on their shuttle bus plan. Having three shuttle busses will not suffice. During rush hour time it will take very long for students to get from the dorms to Baruch if there are only three shuttle busses for all of Baruch.
- What commonalities does this section have with either or both of the other sections?
This section is similar to the other sections in tone. Instead of being aggressive, the people in this group decided to use reason in order to motivate the administration to make a change.
- What kinds of language or mechanical issues need to be fixed? You may also include points, sentences, phrases, and words that you find confusing.
Insert “$” in front of all monetary values.