Each group should look at our Draft 1 essay, and post a revision by Monday morning at 11am.    (There will be 3 revisions: 1 for each group.)

—-NOTE: This weekend is really your last time to make significant changes on this paper; take it seriously.  Consider that what you come up with this weekend will be very close to what you actually submit for a grade! Make it worthy of the work you have put it.—-

In your revision, please keep in mind first order concerns: transitions, structure, argumentation, logic of individual points, and cohesiveness.  On Monday, once we put together our 2nd draft, we will then move into 2nd order concerns: language, style, grammar, and citations.

Some of places we thought we should focus on for revision include:

1) adding smoother transitions [groups have made suggestions in their post, so you may look to those suggestions if you would like to do so].

2) condensing the amount of requests [prioritizing the top requests and then briefly mentioning or even cutting the less important suggestions].

3) eliminating repetition [in definition of terms and sources and in the separate introductions each section had]

4) making sure the various points are more or less balanced since our introduction suggests that they are.

5) adding references back to the theme.  The theme is the community of scholars.

6) engaging the audience more so that the tone of the address is more dynamic (we may do some of this improving style on Monday, but if you see places to do it this weekend, please go ahead and fix it).

Each group should post their revision by Monday morning at 11am.

1- if you can, please post earlier.

2- if you can, please read the other two drafts before class.