I’m going over my essay for the sentence analysis. A couple things struck me. For example, I’ve noticed that my transitional words have improved and that I’m simply missing transition sentences. Instead of continuing these lines and cramming too much information into one, it would be better to break them up into separate sentences. Another thingĀ I’ve noticed is that I try to squeeze a lot of information into a single line. I accomplish this by overusing commas. It’s fine to utilize these to convey a certain message, but overusing them is bad for both the reader and the writer. While I want to give the essay a more sophisticated look by employing better sentence structure, I still want my voice to remain the dominant point of view, so I’ll preserve that.