While revising my work, I decided to use the revision process of addressing my reader’s concerns. In this process, the reader was to proofread my writing, analyze it thoroughly, and give me critical feedback.  The feedback they gave was very insightful and helped me understand a few things about my paper. I chose this process because I felt as if I would receive more and better feedback for my paper. The other two forms of revision are not things that I regularly struggle with so I chose the third. The reader’s concerns were in the realm of the distribution of the topics in my paper. They advised that I should focus on making a connection between the art piece and the real world. While writing I focused a lot on the art piece and the effects that it had.  However, in doing so, I failed to create an equal dichotomy between it and the real world. Someone who was unfamiliar with the art piece would have a hard time understanding some parts of the paper because there was a lack of comparison where need be. To solve this, I plan on expanding more on the areas of connection where the connection is needed to be made. If I am able to do that it would leave a greater impact on the reader and how they interpret the piece and my writing. Aside from this issue, I am not having many problems with my writing and I am noticing progress.

The revision strategy that I used for my draft is ‘To Say Something Better.’ This revision strategy revealed to me that there are so many areas in my writing that I can not only elaborate on, but also make it a whole paragraph. The main reason for why I chose this revision strategy is because when rereading my draft, I knew that I could write so much more and elaborate but I wasn’t sure which areas I could fit in more writing. The main thing I am struggling with now but am working on is being able to connect all my paragraphs into a conclusion without just giving a summary of what I wrote.

Blog 9: due 4/6

 

After looking at my first-page draft, I decided to use the number 1 “To Say Something Better” writing strategy. After doing so, this strategy revealed to me that I have a lot I can expand on within my topic. Since all the ideas in my topic can easily be connected to one another, I need to find a way to bridge these ideas together in order to make one central idea. With this strategy, it allows me to do so because I’m taking a sentence I have already made, and I expand on it, going deeper into detail and when I talk more about this certain topic, it allows me to make connections to previous statements I made. I chose this exercise since it helps me out in expanding the piece that I wrote. It prevents a brain block and I am able to write more. Currently, the most difficult part of writing the essay is attempting to get all my ideas down and trying to tie them all in, and make them make sense. However, after this, I shouldn’t have too many issues, just the initial writing part first.

The strategy I ended up using is the reverse outline. The point of the reverse outline is to better organize and outline the body paragraphs. My main idea wasn’t really clear in my body paragraphs. When writing about Van Gogh, I need to get more specific while also creative. The barebones of my essay are here but I really just need to add more writing and layers. The main thing I was struggling with was organization.

I’ve chosen to use a reverse outline as my strategy for revision because I think I would benefit the most from it. After creating this outline, I started to see more potential in my paper because it is more organized. I was able to list out the main ideas for each paragraph and give them each a topic sentence.  Initially, my paper was all over the place and the paragraphs had multiple ideas that may belong as a separate paragraph instead. I was able to utilize this strategy to give myself an idea of the structure of my paper and what else do I need in order to complete the paper. I had to cut some information even though I did not want to, but it was excessive to the overall message and claim of the paper. I have a better vision for my paper after this revision and feel more confident in reaching the final draft.