I enlisted the cooperation of my friends for this experiment, asking them to do their best to stay unbiased and neutral. My vocal summary helped me realize that I was on the correct track so far in trying to meet the paper’s question. When I read my document aloud, I spotted language errors and when things don’t make sense. I could also notice any continuous sentences and be able to avoid them in my paper. My friends believes I might reinforce my thesis by including additional examples of music or other forms of media. That was something I intended to accomplish.
Category: Blog 10
Blog 10
In order to understand my paper i asked my friend and fellow peer that also takes this class just with a different professor. When I told expressed my summary aloud and he was taking notes the process took 15 minutes. When he was taking notes he realized that I was very into the topic. But it was also some topics that I didn’t even mention in the essay. For example I spoke about personal experiences as a black man in American society , However, I had nothing relating to that in my essay. That was my first analyzing of his notes. The next and final major thing that I noticed was that in his notes he said that my form of speaking and writing felt completely different. I should incorporates my own voice alot more
Blog 10
To conduct this experiment I had help from two of my friends and asked them to try their best to remain impartial and focus on objectivity. My verbal summary helped me understand that so far I was on the right path when trying to satisfy the prompt of the paper. My arguments were well within reason and remained within the scope of the question. At times I stretched the question out but I was able to pull it back into the paper. Hitherto, my paper is stronger than the summary I had written during the experiment. The experiment did also help me realize flaws and discrepancies that I feel I would need to fix moving forwards. Personally, I feel like I have to make better connections to the points in the real world. I express the point of the art piece a lot. And I give it justification while doing so, however, the comparison and dichotomy between it and the real world are lacking and need attendance. Connecting the art piece to the real world will help readers understand the paper better. Especially if the reader is unfamiliar with the art piece I am using. So far that is all I have found that requires my attendance.
BLOG 10
I gave one of my drafts to a friend for them to review, and I read it out loud to them as well. My verbal summary did match what was going on in the paper. It had room for improvement and that’s exactly what I did. When reading your paper out loud, you notice grammar mistakes or when things don’t really make sense. You could also catch the ongoing sentences, so you can easily avoid those in your paper. My friend who I gave my paper also recommended I change up my vocabulary, and make it important that whatever I say I always connect back to the main topic.
Mohamed Terra Blog 10
For this revision experiment, I decided to do it with my older brother. I explained to him that my paper was about how black struggle has been represented in music in the last couple of years, and then I summarized my essay and had him take notes. I believe that my verbal summary pretty much matched my paper, mainly because I have read my paper so much so I knew what I wrote down. One thing that I realized that I can work on is when my brother asked me about how all these artists can relate to each other. I feel like I can write a whole paragraph on that and how they all intend to spread the same message at the end of the day.
Aben Flores – Blog 10
Did your verbal summary match what is written in your paper? Is it stronger/ weaker? What did the experiment reveal to you about what else you need to do to revise your draft?
I completed this verbal exercise with the help of my cousin. One thing I realized is how much more formed and captivating my writing was when I spoke it. Without looking at my draft, I was better able to convey what I’m trying to argue in my essay. I need to do a complete haul of my draft today and tomorrow. the main issue I still have is that there isn’t enough of ”me” in the essay, I need to go off-script but also follow a concrete guideline when talking about my main points.
Blog 10
I made my friend read my paper. She summarized what I had perfectly. I am still missing some information but she understood what I wrote and thinks it correlates with my argument. She thinks I could add more examples of songs or other pieces of media that would strengthen my argument. I was planning on doing that.
Nashauna John- Blog 10
Since I went over my paper multiple times I was able to summarize it for what it was to my mother. She said I spoke strongly about my connections which is the same way I did in my paper. She also said when I was talking about some articles I didn’t know the name of it so I went back and fixed those mistakes to make it more clear.