Author: Dave Olajide

To conduct this experiment I had help from two of my friends and asked them to try their best to remain impartial and focus on objectivity. My verbal summary helped me understand that so far I was on the right path when trying to satisfy the prompt of the paper. My arguments were well within reason and remained within the scope of the question. At times I stretched the question out but I was able to pull it back into the paper. Hitherto, my paper is stronger than the summary I had written during the experiment. The experiment did also help me realize flaws and discrepancies that I feel I would need to fix moving forwards. Personally, I feel like I have to make better connections to the points in the real world. I express the point of the art piece a lot. And I give it justification while doing so, however, the comparison and dichotomy between it and the real world are lacking and need attendance. Connecting the art piece to the real world will help readers understand the paper better. Especially if the reader is unfamiliar with the art piece I am using. So far that is all I have found that requires my attendance.

While revising my work, I decided to use the revision process of addressing my reader’s concerns. In this process, the reader was to proofread my writing, analyze it thoroughly, and give me critical feedback.  The feedback they gave was very insightful and helped me understand a few things about my paper. I chose this process because I felt as if I would receive more and better feedback for my paper. The other two forms of revision are not things that I regularly struggle with so I chose the third. The reader’s concerns were in the realm of the distribution of the topics in my paper. They advised that I should focus on making a connection between the art piece and the real world. While writing I focused a lot on the art piece and the effects that it had.  However, in doing so, I failed to create an equal dichotomy between it and the real world. Someone who was unfamiliar with the art piece would have a hard time understanding some parts of the paper because there was a lack of comparison where need be. To solve this, I plan on expanding more on the areas of connection where the connection is needed to be made. If I am able to do that it would leave a greater impact on the reader and how they interpret the piece and my writing. Aside from this issue, I am not having many problems with my writing and I am noticing progress.

 

 

 

The title of the art piece I intend to use for this Argumentative Research Essay is “One Piece”. One Piece is an amazing anime and  manga written by Eiichiro Oda. The manga and anime (animanga) is the longest animanga to date and is argumentatively the best one known to man. The manga began in 1999 and is still on going. At first glance, One Piece appears as a goofy, funny, and comedic show for children. However, after watching the first few episodes you start to realize how deep the show goes. The concepts carried in the stories, the progression of characters and their development, and the issues we see in real life being touched on in the show make the show what it is. It makes every one of the 1043 manga chapter and every one of the 1014 episodes worth the wait and worth the watch. The show touches on many familiar topics such as gender inequality, corruption, racism, slavery, human trafficking, drugs, absolute monarchy, poverty and genocide. It shows how these things affect people and their environment and the main character, Luffy, represents a force that challenges those concepts. Throughout the show we see Luffy, a pirate, travel with his crew across the world in search of a treasure called the “One Piece”. On their journey, their chip lands on a plethora of islands with different forms of civilization. From monarchies to democracies and even tribal settings. In each setting, Luffy and his crew face a new challenge that embodies at least one of the previously mentioned concepts. Luffy and his crew then have to face these challenges and solve the problems that come with them. Aside from facing those issues, there are different parties in the show of One Piece. The show encapsulates the real world in a way where it exhibits numerous parties. Meaning everything isn’t black and white, but rather there are numerous shades of grey that depend on one’s perspective. For example the World Government is a party that controls the media and are seen as the embodiment of “justice” to the average citizen although they are corrupt and do many questionable acts. This is exactly why I chose this art work, because of its complexity and the authors ability to challenge so many topics.

Thesis: “Eiichiro Oda’s manga, One Piece, exhibits social issues and challenges we face in real life such as gender inequality, corruption, racism, slavery, human trafficking, drugs, absolute monarchy, poverty and genocide.”

Reading through my Comparative Analysis Essay, I was unable to come across too many issues with my sentence structure. I was unable to find any sentences or grammatical errors in the sentence analysis worksheet that matched up with any sentences in my essay.  In my own personal opinion, I still feel as if my writing style must improve and there are more things I need to learn about writing. I want to grasp the concept of writing to the point that it becomes almost second nature to me. However, it does reveal to me that I am at a level I am intended to be at, although it is not one that I am satisfied with. In the future, I hope to be able to improve my diction and my paragraph structure. As for the changes, I only plan to make the changes to my essay as suggested by peer review and the professor. These changes will change my essay to appeal more to readers and my audience.  Unfortunately, I will not be able to address this topic in further detail because I lack sufficient evidence to establish substantial grounds to believe that my writing may be as flawed as required to reach the word count.

Personally, as someone who has not lived in one particular place all their life, it could be difficult to witness the gentrification or urbanization of a location that I stay in. However, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t seen it happen in areas that I frequently visit.
Being a resident of the Bronx has allowed me to first-hand witness the gentrification of the area I used to live in and to go to high school in, Co-op City. Over the years, public areas in Co-op City have been taken over by corporations and become a spot that welcomes people with deeper pockets. For example, the fast-food restaurants around Co-op City 4 years ago included, but weren’t limited to, McDonald’s, Burger King, and Popeyes. This was fitting for the majority of the residents of Co-op as they could access cheap fast food with ease. However, now in Co-op, you can find new restaurants that have taken over the public spaces such as Shake Shack, Chipotle, and Starbucks.

To make matters worse, the segregation in the area is so blatant that it is almost vexatious. For example, there are two main places to get coffee in Co-op, Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks. With the prices, you are more likely to find the white residents of Co-op in Starbucks and the black residents in Dunkin. Same with Shack Shack versus McDonald’s, respectively. All of this is a result of the influx of white families that have been entering Co-op City in recent years. It diversifies the area that has been minority populated for a while. However, it also gives small businesses the chance to jack up prices unnecessarily and large corporations a chance to step in and privatize public spaces. I am not necessarily the type to not support diversification, however, I see no need for small businesses to jack up their prices for the customers who have been shopping with them for years.