The revision stage in my writing process has always been one that I am hesitant to tackle but through peer review and class discussions, I was able to find enjoyment and learn new skills to constructively revise my work.
The value of being able to get feedback from my peers was an important step in my revision process because it allowed me to better understand how my essay came across. At one point in my essay, I made reference to George Balanchine assuming that everyone would understand the connection I drew between him and my ballet teacher. When one of my classmates told me they had to look up who Balanchine was, it helped me comprehend that I had to focus on making my essay easier for people outside of my discourse community of ballet to understand. Alongside that, my peers also pointed out that providing a description as to what the ballet terms meant would help the reader better understand the workings of ballet. All these small details were important inclusions in my essay as they added texture and background information for all to understand.
Additionally, the one-on-one office hours allowed me a chance to define what my writing style was going to be for this essay. After deciding to focus on two of my discourse communities, I tried to model my essay after a braided essay where I threaded my narrative between dance and reading while trying to tie a coherent story. Using this style of writing was fun to experiment with but it also made my revision process much longer. For the braided essay, there’s a fine line between choppy and a well-integrated essay. In the end, I think I did a decent job at transitioning between the two, all while trying to relate them to one another.
Lastly, when revising, I spent a considerable amount of time finding the momentum needed to drive my narrative forward with a related series of events. I tried to work on avoiding choppy sentences when describing my memories and instead, focus on the emotions and details of the memory. I avoided dialogue conversations in my essay but added an occasional quotation or phrase to help explain my memories further. I also found it helpful to write a brief paragraph at the end to tie ballet and reading and to compare and contrast them to one another. Because my essay switches between two vastly different discourse communities throughout my essay, it was beneficial for my essay to summarize both communities.