I have two definitions of failing: one, a failure does not mean getting an F on an exam; it means being unsuccessful in my standards. Two, letting my parents, teachers, friends, and myself down is a failure. A failure can be as little as not being able to speak up in a class, when I promised myself to do so.
I am afraid of failing.
Not only am I afraid of failing, I extremely dislike the guilt or consequence that comes with it. Failing and the guilt or consequence that comes with it have negative impact on me that I spend too much time focusing on one problem. For example, I once had to attend a program that needed a great deal of participation. While I wanted to go for educational purposes and experience, I decided not to go because I was afraid to speak up. This “failure” bothered me through a whole summer. I felt as if I backed out on something great. And I wished I attended. But what can be done? The program was already over and so was the summer.
Not being able to accomplish goals is one of my fears. It is because it would mean maybe I did not try hard enough to do well or I was not even on a certain level to try in the first place.
As time passes by I don’t think that failing is the end of my life. Although the immediate feeling after a failure is bad, I do think that as the time passes by, the failure will eventually help. I mean, experiencing failures will be helpful someday.
Oprah Winfrey once said, “Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” I understand the meaning behind it and rather than avoiding and being afraid of it, I will begin my life facing failures when I have to.
