Category Archives: Jason Ioffe

Draft of The Story of Foofles

(Subject to change, intended as notes for a verbal presentation rather than as academic writing…)

My heart raced and my hands shook. All sense of motion around me ceased to be; only silence perpetuated. My hands would decide the fate of millions. And so I carved a world, one level at a time. A LittleBigPlanet. Working on that game was the height of my career. Life was good. All those years ago, I thought I would never need college. Boy, was I wrong!
Over the years, it only got harder to get by. My family fell apart, and it was up to me take care of everything. It was time to man up and go to college.
At first I was completely indifferent, but then I started getting excited. “Think of all the people I’ll meet!” “Think of how fun it is to go out into the city!”. Yeah!
Finally, the day is here. The first day of college! Yes! Out of the train and into the big city! It feels so large… and oppressive. Like a fat nun! To hell with it, I’m going to college!
None of the ungodly odors swirling through my nostrils can douse the burning drive in my heart! I notice one thing about Baruch right away – There are beautiful girls everywhere. I approach one of my fellow students and say…
“Hello!” [Slap] “I have a boyfriend!” “I just wanted to know where the 23rd building is!” [Slap] “It’s that way!” “Thank you!”
Barely a college student for 10 minutes and I’m already socializing! Yeah!

After many years, I’m a student again. I don’t know what the future holds, or if going to college was the right decision. But so far, I’m making good friends and experiencing a completely new part of life. I’m going to see this road to the end and make my family proud.

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