Watching paint dry would make my day. I’m a pretty easy going person, whether through laziness or enlightenment I will never know. I can see myself growing up to be a monk in a mountain, bothering rabbits and dear with the qualms of my existence. “Dear little cute fluffy rabbit, what is the meaning of life?” I shall ask it. Mr.Rabbit, as I shall name him, will tell me “42”. Upon hearing this I shall beat Mr.Rabbit to death with a frozen tuna. I am unsatisfied with the meaning my existence has so far. Sometimes I see cute puppies strolling down the street and I just want to squish it. So simplistic, so blissful and ignorant of what it means to be self-conscious. I m a bit jealous of animals. Being an animal without self-consciousness, I imagine, would be much like being a machine. Actions are taken based upon information put in through the mechanism of senses. No thoughts or long ponders, no more telling my teacher I haven’t written anything because “I’m still thinking”. To let go and let life take its course, to be able to rest knowing that there are no more decisions to make, no more chances to ruin your life. That would be too easy. I once played a game where the goal of the game was to press a button. You had to press it 1000 times before the three other people in the game. There was a real sense of urgency. Using my Maplestory party quest clicking skills, it’s completely fine if you don’t get the reference, I clicked as fast as I could on the button. My arm swelling and cramped until I neared 900. I exerted all my force to finish the last stretch clicking far past 1000. I had won, or so I had thought. Before me on my computer screen ran the words “Game Over”. I had lost because I clicked over 1000. I think back to that game every now and then. I realize life is one huge clicking game. We try and try and try, we strive continuously, in hopes that there is some meaning at the end of our excursion. There may be none at all. We may find all the sweat and tears, the cramps and arm spasms we had were for nothing, meant nothing. But it doesn’t matter. I had believed in something. I had put my effort towards a goal, whether I reached it or not was irrelevant. I don’t care if I lost, I’m the click master anyway.
