Okay, I’ve been sitting in front of my laptop for hours now, thinking of what to write but my mind is blank. I never wrote a monologue before so honestly, I have no idea how to write one. It’s almost four in the morning and I’m starting to not think clearly and my eyes are closing so I’m just going to write whatever comes to mind.
I’m the only person my dad has in his life. He has no wife, his oldest daughter refuses to speak to him, and he doesn’t have time to keep in touch with his friends because he works 13 hours a day, 7 days a week. So you could imagine how tough things are for him. But wait, this monologue is supposed to be about me, not my dad so let’s move on.
My dad affects a lot of the things I do and the way I think. I should be going to school because I want a better future for myself but really, 99% of the reason why I go to school is because I know that’s what my dad wants. I grew up constantly hearing him talk about how his only dream is to see me graduate college. So I know it would break my dad’s heart if I ever dropped out of college. And now that my sister doesn’t live with us, he puts more pressure on me.
Sometimes, I feel like I can’t make my own decisions and choices. Sometimes, I feel controlled like I’m caged in with no way out. So I began to think… What’s the point of living a life that I don’t want to live? If I keep living my life the way my dad wants me to, how lost am I going to feel once he’s gone? I’ve heard many people say, “You only have one life to live so live it to the fullest.” It took me some time to realize that I can’t experience all life has to offer unless I make some changes. I need to start living life for myself and follow my own dreams and goals. One thing’s for sure: life can only get better from here.
