Monologue, no where & now here

Since it has been two months from the beginning of my freshman year, the academic routine spurs me to rush from hour to hour. I finished my homework at the last second of yesterday, and almost fall asleep at the first second of class. These 2 moths only gave me an endless rotation of yesterday and today. Degree? Yeah, I need to acquire that in 4 years, but how? The horror of Mid-terms destroyed my last confidence, and left me numerous question marks. I did anything I could; however, it does not come out everything I expect. I desire to get somewhere I belong, but I found I was in the middle of nowhere without knowing the direction. Yesterday was a blank, today is a mess. I want to escape from the predicament by trying persuading myself to begin a new start at tomorrow, whereas, it never comes. It was me who throw all chip on the number that never showed up, and I mired deeper and deeper. I looked into the mirror when I woke up this morning, there was one person embraced by confusion. The man in the mirror is not the man I want to be. I realized I need to make a difference and make it right. (“Man In the Mirror” is my favor song, btw) Fit in or lose out, it is the law of survival and nature. Here I am, by expressing the perplexity and listening the same experience from you guys, I feel I am not alone. I can look up and energize myself. I stand now here instead nowhere.