In life, many people describe their biggest fears as being physical things, such as spiders or heights. As for me, my biggest fear leaves more of a mental effect.
The people I surround myself with—my family and close friends—mean a lot to me. I would not know what to do if I lost any of them. I hadn’t realized how much a loss would affect my life until I lost one of the people who meant the world to me, my great-grandmother, “Nanny.” It was one of those few moments in life where you remember every single detail of the day. I had just returned from a freezing cold Asbury Park in late February 2007. My friend and I were sitting on my bed talking about quitting gymnastics when my sister came in my room with a panicked look on her face, saying that my mom was on the phone crying. We all ran down the stairs to find my mom in the kitchen doing just that and with one word, “Nanny,” my world came crashing down. She was the first person I had ever really known to pass away and the memory of that day and the week she and I spent together before it will stay with me always.
My fear was again realized only last year. Thankfully, it did not result in another loss of a loved one. I had just returned from SAT testing and was getting dress for soccer practice when I got a phone call from my mom. She started off with, “everything is okay,” which sent my mind reeling. Everyone knows that any phone call that begins with any variation of those three words is never a good sign. My mom continued, informing me that my grandmother was in the hospital, suffering from a heart attack. After all the panicking and visits to the hospital, she wound up being completely fine, but like the memory of my great-grandmother, the memory of the fear I felt throughout the duration of that day will also remain in my mind forever.
Because I have experienced this fear, I have learned to never take for granted the people who mean the most to me, because no one ever knows when they may leave us.
(^^ My grandmother and I in Central Park)
