bearcat high five.
Coming into Baruch, I expected my classes to be much more challenging than they turned out to be. I was surprised to find that classes were much easier than my high school classes and the work load was completely manageable. I expected to struggle much more starting out and thought I would be behind in everything and have a hard time catching up, but the transition was quick and I was able to handle the courseload.
I didn’t expect to make any friends here but I feel like now I am starting to 
I am mostly happy with how my first semester has gone so far. My classes have all gone really well aside from precalculus, but even that hasn’t been as disastrous as I expected. I’m proud of the work that I’ve done getting to this point. But I don’t want to jinx things because we still have finals to deal with so I have plenty of time left to screw everything up…
If I could start things over again I would probably drop math on day one, speak up more in my classes, and in general try to be more outgoing. I feel like there’s been a lot I wanted to say that I just kept to myself because I couldn’t find the confidence to raise my hand and say it. I also wish I could have been less nervous around everyone the whole way through. Basically since orientation I just expected no one to like me and felt too anxious to open up around people. As the semester went on, I realized a lot of other people also had a hard time approaching people or felt alone in the school, and it wasn’t just me. I think if I could go back I would try to be more involved and join clubs so that I could get to know people better.
Since it’s still been less than three months… I don’t really think I’ve changed much at all. I guess I am starting to feel a little more confident in my abilities. I know I still stress too much that I’m not smart enough but I think slowly I’m getting better about it. I’ve been working on not believing anymore that I’m stupid and don’t belong in college and I believe eventually I will get there. I’m still too quiet, but I speak up a little bit more than I did on the first day. I feel very lucky that I have had classmates nice enough to see past the shell and make the effort to get to know me. It’s still an ongoing process, but I’m starting to feel more comfortable at school and less afraid all the time. Also I know a lot more about derivatives than I did when I came into Baruch which will be useful in my life… never.
Overall, I am happy with my freshman year at Baruch so far. I’m ready to recharge over winter break and am looking forward to the spring semester.
