“Before” and “After”
“Who are you?”
“I’m just a normal girl.”
“And who are you?”
“Well…I don’t know…”
When I was a little girl, all my mind was filled with fantastic dreams: I want to be an actress, so everyone can see me on TV; I want to be a painter, so I can draw down every beautiful thing I’ve ever seen; I want to be doctor, just like a white angel who saves people’s life; I want to be a musician, whose music can warm people’s heart.
But now…
Actress? Nah…that’s a very tired job, and not every actress can be famous, you may ruin your life by any chance; Painter? Nah… it’s not going to make money that way. Interest is important, but without money you can’t develop your interest; Doctor? Nah…that’s may be a good way to make money, but you can’t even bear to see blood, and that’s a dangerous job, you may get infected by accident, that’s scared; Musician? Nah…music doesn’t feed you, does it?
“Oh, come on, let’s be more practical!”
Sometimes, I am thinking, is everyone going to change their dreams after they become adult, or being brain washed by their last generation, parents? Do they prefer to be practical rather than dreaming? Why can’t “before” and “after” being the same?
Am I going to change or being brain washed, and give up my own dream? I think I know my answer, but do you know your answer?
“Who are you?”
“I’m not a common girl.”
“And who are you?”
“I’m a girl who chases my own dream.”
“The Girl Sat in the Corner”
Who is the shy girl?
The girl sits in the corner.
Who is the taciturn girl?
The girl sits in the corner.
Who is the girl sits in the corner?
I’m that girl.
Being a non-native speaker and a girl who came from another country not long time ago, the accent mixed in my English makes me want to dig a hole in the land and hide myself, whenever I open my mouth to speak. There is always another voice in my heart said: “Don’t speak, all you can get are people’s laughing.” Maybe that’s true…
Hours by hours and days by days, I try not to speak.
But…
What’s this feeling? Lonely? Isolated? Or what? It tastes a little bitter, and acerbic. It makes me sad, I miss my old friends, but they are far away from here. I hate this feeling, I want to change it.
“Yes, that’s right, you can change it.” There is another voice flows up in my heart, it’s bright and warm. “All you can do is ‘Don’t Mind’. You are not the only person who feels this way. You are not alone. Everyone is the same.”
“Really?”
“Yes, look around. How many kinds of skin color you see? How many different languages you hear? We are all from different areas, different countries, no one has the right to laugh at others, because you may be even much better than them.”
“That’s right! All the problems are just excuses for me to run away from reality, all I need is confidence, right?”
Ok, now…
Who is the girl sits in the corner?
I was that girl.
