Finally, I am in college. I get to pursue my dream, of becoming a lawyer. But now that I am here, I always think about what if I fail. It is one of my biggest fears you know. I fear I will end up being a dropout like my sister. I don’t want to be like her. I don’t want to be a drop out.
My sister dreamed of becoming a doctor. My dad used to be so happy and went around telling people that his daughter is going to be this big doctor. The day he found out that she is going to dropout crushed him. My parents couldn’t believe what they heard. They tried to persuade her to not do it but she just didn’t listen. I saw the disappointment on their faces that they did a bad job as parents.
I caught my mom crying about it one day when I came home from school. She told me, “Please, don’t do the same thing your sister did. Finish school. Become the lawyer you dream about. Will you promise me?” “I promise,” I said. Little did I know the promise I made years ago haunts me every day now that I am in college.
My parents look to me now. They want me to become something of myself. Their dream is for their son to become that successful lawyer with the big law firm. My father just like he did with my sister goes around and tells people that I am going to become this big lawyer. Sure, it is my dream too but what if I can’t do it. What if the pressure gets to me like it did to my sister and makes me give up. The fear of failing and seeing the disappointing faces of my parents haunts me every night I go to sleep. I don’t want to make them feel they failed as parents. I want to make them proud and hopefully I will be able to accomplish my dream and theirs.
