Present: 10/19/11. Post by 11:59 tonight or 10/20/11?
Getting to Know Me as a Person:
I’m irresponsible, forgetful, with no sense of time, so I knew college would be a challenge for me. My personal motto is to live with no boundaries in being comfortable at home. Sometimes, when I feel like it (I know so childish, right? ‘I do what I want, when I want, if I feel like it), “comfy mode” extends when I’m outside, especially since my mom isn’t here to nag me. I can drink from the bottle, eat noodles with a spoon, ice cream with a fork, and leave my dirty clothes on the floor. I think home is for free expression; outside for common oppression–people trying too hard to make a good impression.
Quiet, family, friends, Parliaments, and alone time is important to me: especially alone time and Parliaments. If I ever meet someone that will give me a life-time supply of these cartons and proposed to me with a ring around several sticks, with the beautiful recessed filters pointing upward, I would say yes in a heartbeat. Learning is hard for me, so taking notes is important to me, because without the actual act of writing something down, I wouldn’t remember anything I heard that day. I feel like I might get Alzheimer by the time I’ m 30. I also need to take pictures of things (store fronts, campus buildings, street signs, subway stations, bus stops, etc.) that I know I will go to again, so I can remember it: I feel like I’m in the movie Momento when I say this 
I’m afraid of the cold (subzero temperatures). I’m afraid of large groups, like this one. I’m afraid of spiders in my bedroom because they might crawl into my mouth when I sleep. I’m afraid of not understanding because all the words I don’t know become one big question mark. I’m afraid of the color orange because it’s ugly, and it’s just red trying to be more yellow. I’m afraid of quizzes and tests because I usually fall asleep the night before cramming for it, and I feel like I get a heart attack the second the teacher slips the paper on my desk. I’m afraid of math, because math sucks–I have a t-shirt that even says so. I’m afraid of being independent and growing up.
There’s something that I hate to admit. I wanted to say it in my paragraph of things important to me, but I couldn’t, so I’ll say it here. My mother is very important to me. I never appreciated her before, until I was forced to do things on my own: laundry, food, alarm. I’m coming to terms with realizing I’m an adult now and everything I do will affect me.
I haven’t been hanging out with Baruch students much, including you guys. I mostly befriended SVA and Kings College students. I’m sorry LC13 classmates if I’m always tired, loopy, or distant. And for you LC13 non-smokers, I’m sorry for my disgusting habit and if I accidentally blew smoke in your direction, I’m really sorry.
Ever since Professor Kaufman suggested I drop the class, which I did, I’ve been trying to get my shit together. One of my friends already dropped out of college within her first couple weeks here. I need to start taking schoolwork more seriously.
-Mandy Chan
