I don’t know why but when I first read the task I kept thinking of the song Jar of Hearts. Did anyone else think of that?
Anyway lets just get right to the point. Who do I think I am? In all honesty I’m not entirely sure of who I am. I try to be a good person and to do good things but the question of who I am what I want to be… it’s kind of hard to answer. I know that I’m working towards reaching a point in my life but I’m not even sure if I want to reach there. And I don’t really know if I’ll ever know who I am exactly because I’m changing every day.
Right now at Baruch Im most afraid of trying as hard as I can and still failing. Because where can I go from there? Next I guess I would be afraid of learning and majoring in a career only to find that I either hate it or I’m not able to get a job. And lastly, I’m afraid of not being true to myself. To lose a part of myself in order to reach my dreams or to compromise my morals to get what I want or at least what I think I want.
In all honesty I feel like Baruch is a lot like high school. Everyone goes home right after school unless they’re in a club and it doesn’t feel like that much of a transition from high school. Blocks make its kind of hard to meet anyone outside of your block and it almost feels like how in middle school we were placed into “teams” of people. I mean we do have large lecture hall classes but other than that classes feel almost the same. I really hope that this will change but sometimes when someone asks me whether or not I like Baruch I really have no idea what I should say. Oddly enough the tests I have taken so far were a lot easier than some of the tests I took in high school but that might be because I actually studied for them this time. >_<
I definitely want to change my study habits in college and from what I heard people grow a lot in college so I hope I can be more mature and maybe a little bit more independent. I’m excited for what college and living in New York city can do to me but I’m just a little bit scared that I won’t grow. I want to be thrown outside of my comfort zone and challenged. I don’t want college to feel like high school or I would have gone to community college.
