Author Archives: Elizabeth Lee

We have almost completed our first semester at Baruch. Before school, I didn’t know what college was going to be like. I knew that college work was going  to be more difficult than the work in high school. In the beginning, Baruch seemed very similar to high school, but as we got closer to midterms, I realized that I needed to be more responsible. There was more readings and papers to do in a short time period. I think my first semester went well, even though I do believe that I could have done better. Now I somewhat know what to do with my time and try to mange it well. In my first semester, I could have studied more, especially math, since I’m not doing well right now. Since I started Baruch, I did not change that much, but I do feel more like a college student now. I have learned how to be more responsible and learned how to have good time management. Also I realized that study groups really help!

I’m usually not good at expressing myself. My thoughts are too random for anyone to understand. So I thought that it would be easier for me to make up a fake character for this monologue, but I decided to make a monologue that best portrays the “real” me. Unfortunately, I’m not entirely sure of what is real and what is imaginary. I would think to myself, “Am I making this up?” or “Is it really me?”

This is getting too complicated. Anyways, I’ll just go on talking about my current thoughts.

There’s been so many thoughts going through my head lately but the strange thing is that I can’t specify what exactly these thoughts are. Trying to figure out what is going on in my little, complicated brain of mine has been one of my many problems. However, I tend to forget easily and forget about my problems. So I end up never solving them…But the worst thing is that I am so aloof. I don’t care about anything! My friends will say that it’s not a bad thing but it’s not really a good thing either. And I agree with them.

It’s good that I don’t really think too much and end up stressing about it, but it’s bad that I’m ignoring how I feel. That’s why a lot of my friends call me a robot. And I realized that I could really seem like one! “Whatever, I don’t know, maybe” these are the most common words in my vocabulary. I guess they do seem very boring and unenthusiastic.

These days when I end up talking to new people, I end up describing myself as a robot, and they end up saying “WHAT?” or “WTH?” and I laugh and give them my own logical explanation.

Some people say that I’m not a robot, but my best friend says I am and she knows me best, so I just go along with it.

Well the first time someone told me that I was a robot…I was well…confused? and a little bit offended. I thought to myself, “Am I really that boring?” or “Do I seem like a heartless person?”

But I found it quite amusing and unique. It’s actually pretty cool. I mean who would ever call themself a robot except me. It’s my own thing I guess.

Its funny, I’m also the awkward one in my group of friends but they say that I’m also a “weird, funny awkward”…whatever that is.

“LOL” I like saying these Internet terms out loudly…is that awkward? But you know what?! I think weird is cool. Actually, being weird is freaking awesome.