Author Archives: helen.ho

I never looked forward to going to Baruch, all my friends are gone, and it’s just a bigger high school. College is supposed to be the best four years of our lives…it’s been one of the toughest 5 months of my life. Being thrown into a business school makes me feel so outcasted. I literally have one friend in this school. I feel like I get judged a lot, and underestimated. I don’t live in the library, I’m loud and obnoxious, and school doesn’t phase me as the most important thing in my life. I’m sure I have more people who laugh at me, and hope I fail because of all these factors more than people who are supporting me, but i’m okay with that.

If you think about it, we go to school to get a good career to work until retirement for a higher amount of money. But what if we’re not happy during the process? We work for the rest of our lives, even though right now we just say we’re busting our ass to get a good job. What next? We’re working overtime for a raise, we can’t go on vacation with our family because we have paperwork to file, where does it end? The purpose of going to school, grad school, etc is for the credentials it rewards us, not because we enjoy the learning process.

College has made me realize that this may be the first step for the rest of our lives, and we’re working to achieve something, but that something is endless, and if we’re stressing over the process, then theres no point. We work so hard in school to make a mound of money in the future, but if we’re not happy doing so then whats the purpose?

So although I may not have been happy 6 out of the 7 days of the week since I started college, I realized something far greater than grades could have bought me. We try hard and suffer to be happy in the end, but i’d rather just die doing what I love and being happy than looking for a better future.

And the clubs at our school need to stop raping me with flyers every time I go up the escalators.

It’s not easy for me to talk about myself, because I honestly don’t think there is much to discuss. I don’t have high expectations, nor do I have goals for myself. I know that this period of my life is just a phase, one that will have another one to follow. I can’t imagine where I will be in 3 years, much less what i’ll be doing the rest of my life. I’ve learned to accept this, and I realized it’s not important to know what you like, what you like to do, who you are for that matter. It’s more about the process of getting there, and I think I’m happy.

Baruch may not be the right school for me, although I love the convenience. I am not smart enough to become a business major, nor am I civil enough. As for now, I have no hobbies, I work as a hostess in a New York cafe that takes up the majority of my weekend, and the remaining 5 days of the week I go to school. I used to be interested in swimming and volleyball, but then again i hate exercise.

I haven’t changed at all since the start of freshman year, I still have the same views, lifestyle, and opinions that I did at the start of the year.

My life is stagnant, and I’m okay with that. I don’t need a lot of change, i’m happy with what I have right now.

My name is Helen Ho. I recently turned 18, and I’ve been living in Manhattan for all my life. I came to Baruch because it’s a convenient distance from my house on 107th street. I don’t intend to have any association with anything business related. I hate everything about it, especially the knee length skirts and awkward high heels I see students wearing sometimes. I think I identify myself more with art rather than anything else. Except i’m not an artist because I don’t like it when people call themselves that. And i’m not too good at it either.

My top 3 concerns about freshman year at Baruch would be the incredibly unnecessary amount of work that needs to be done. It’s like I can never get a break anymore, there’s always more work to do. And i’m a pretty big slacker so thats an even bigger problem. Another concern I have is picking a major that i’m passionate about and that i’ll be dedicated to trying hard. The third concern I have is binge eating and being morbidly obese. I love indian food, and conveniently enough our school is next to little india. L0v3ly.

Baruch is already really different than my high school. An obvious reason is the radical size change. My graduating class consisted about 150 students, and now I have 500 classmates in my Psychology class. Baruch is also different because of the workload. I passed with a very low gpa but I also didn’t do any work and came to class late or skipped almost every day. Now I have to be responsible and independent or else the consequences will be much more severe.

I don’t really think Baruch will change me that much, I think i’ll just mature on my own. Everything comes naturally, and being in a new environment is scary but I don’t think i’ll be dramatically effected.