Author Archives: holly.isenberg

Who am I? Well, I used to be adventurous and not have even an ounce of fear in me.  I was always the dare devil willing to do anything.  That is, until the first day of my summer when I was ten years old, the day my biggest fear was born.  I always loved being outdoors; I would go outside right after breakfast and only go inside when my mom made me.  On this particular day, it was absolutely beautiful out; the birds were chirping and the sun was shining.  I was playing outside with my cousins when I
decided to do the unexplainable.  For whatever reason, I decided to climb up a tree in my backyard, in clogs none the
less.  When I reached the top which was about thirty feet in the air, my shoe fell off because it had no back.  My cousin is only a year older than me so at the time we had no idea how stupid our next decision would be.  Tommy (my cousin) and I decided to throw my shoe up to me and all I would have to do is catch it and grab onto a different
branch quickly before I fell.  Neither of us realized this was an almost impossible task and that something could seriously go wrong.

As you could possibly guess, we were terribly wrong there was no way after I let go of the branch I could grasp another and in an instant I went tumbling down hitting every branch below me. When our parents heard the cracking of the branches they came running and found me laying there silent on the ground and Tommy screaming with fear. I don’t remember my landing but I do remember the stories everyone told.  I didn’t cry, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t even breath, I just laid there. Everyone hovered over me and all I could see was blur.  No one knew what to do, they were all afraid to touch me because they knew something was definitely wrong.

When the ambulance came my mom always says that’s when it hit her, I may never be able to walk again.  She blamed herself for not watching closer but we all know it really isn’t her fault.  When I went into the hospital the doctor had discovered I had a severe concussion, I shattered my elbow, dislocated my wrist and my shoulder, they didn’t know if I would be able to play softball ever again, my parents knew this would not go over well.  As the doctors kept working they realized I was very lucky, If I landed just a few centimeters more on my back then on myarm I would have broken my back or worse I could have been paralyzed.

With many months of rehab therapists were able to get my arm to full strength again.  But they  could not remove the fear I have instilled in my brain forever, the fear of heights.  I used to be able to do anything I wanted and then if I even got on top of a bunk bed I got nauseous.  After the accident I would have these horrible nightmares that I would be falling out of the tree but never land.  This nightmare had taunted me for years, that ais until my boyfriend made me get over it.  One day last year we went for a ride, I had no idea where we were going.  Two and a half hours of driving in a car building up suspense we finally arrived.  We were upstate and it was gorgeous, we were overlooking a cliff with a beautiful stream flowing under it, when we got out of the car I asked, “This is beautiful, but why are we here?” Alex, my boyfriend
then told me “at some point in your life you need to get over your fears, so we are not leaving until you jump.” I immediately had a panic attack, how could I do that??? How could Alex make me do this??? Alex reassured me he would jump first and show me it was safe and jump with me when it was my turn but this did not help.  I did not want to jump at all.  Alex and I sat on the ledge for three hours, I must have made him jump a dozen times before I did then finally, I decided to take the risk.  I will never regret that jump, it was liberating, although heights still scare me, I know with help of others I can overcome anything and everything that I want.  I am unstoppable.  Now I know that although being away from the ground may freak me out I will be fine, I can do it.

I count this as a big part of me because for so long I was held back by my fears, we would go to an adventure park and I would spend money to walk around and watch people have fun, I was restraining myself from experiencing things.  I hated plane rides and would have to take medicine to sleep through the ride so I wouldn’t freak
myself out.  This past winter I went parasailing, no one in my family could believe I was going to do it and my mother almost cried when she saw me.  Although it made
me very nervous, I was not going to do it, it was more like a nervous excitement.

Although this is not everything about me it is a big part. By one stupid action I could have changed my whole life, possibly no more
playing ball, no more fearlessness and I almost lost my ability to walk.  At a young age I learned to not take the little things for granted, live life the way you want but don’t let a freak accident shape your mind, overcome everything possible and never back down. And lastly, I learned to always believe in myself, even when things seem
impossible, they aren’t, with a little help you can get through anything.