Author Archives: lan.wang

The first semester in Baruch College is over and I’m finally done with all the papers for the semester. At the beginning, I hoped that I could say “I’ve done my best in the first semester”; however, the laziness has kept me from doing my best. I wonder when I can overcome this weakness. I always wait the last minute to finish the works and couldn’t change even though I want to. The one thing that I want to improve is my laziness. The most obvious change that I have after this semester is that I use English more. During High School, most of my friends speak Chinese but I have more friends that couldn’t speak Chinese right now. Nonetheless, Baruch College is pretty good overall. Before I enrolled in this college, I underestimated the college because it’s a Cuny and all my friends who attend another college tried to persuade me to transfer. I was hesitated at the beginning but I want to stay at Baruch College right now. The college doesn’t really matter if you are doing what you suppose to do. Anyway, my first semester is not what I expected. I still considered college as same as High School, so I maintained the routine that I had in H.S. Yet, things have turned out not very well. My test grades were not bad; most of them were above 90s, but my class participations were terrible. I still haven’t used to speak up in front of people. I don’t know how my average is going to be for this semester, but hopefully it’s at least 3.5.

As I learned in Sociology today, life has different stages. We couldn’t be perfect in every stages, but we could continue to make up for the lack in previous stage. Even though we couldn’t stop the time, as long as we cherish time, we could slow down the steps that time made. But what is considered to be cherishing the time? Is your life cherished as long as others thought it to be perfect? Perhaps my mom had been too harsh on me, so I always wanted to do my best in order to reach my mom’s standards, even though I didn’t always agree with her. I had tried to please and satisfy others for a long time, but life is not doing other’s favor and winning other’s praise. If you gingerly follow the rules that others set for you, in the end you would not be yourself anymore. As Orson Welles said “we’re born alone; we live alone; we die alone; only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for a moment that we are not alone.” 
I once told my friend I felt guilty and regretted for something. I didn’t remember the exact event I was regretting about but I do remember his response. He said to me, “Don’t ever be guilty or regretted. Whatever you do is your choice.” When you reach your destination, don’t look back in anger and regret about the things you have done for your life.
Things are always easy to say but difficult to do, however, it’s crucial to notice the truth that you have to live your life for yourself.
“Busy for living or busy for death?”
I choose to get busy for living; I choose to enjoy my life. This is me.

      My name is Lan. I came to New York for several years. After i attended High School, i found out that teachers are not very strict, because Chinese teachers are way harsher on students work. But college life in America is more rigid than college life in China. College students of China can graduate college very easily; they even have a second chance if failed the test. This is an totally opposite situation in America.

I already had three quizzes during this first month. The homework that professors gave us is mostly reading material. It’s not like High School which teacher gives you homework every day. In college, it’s all depends on yourself. You can decide whether you read it or not, but the grade you can get on the test is greatly affect by how much work you have done. The only class I have to write essay during High School is English, but I probably have to write paper for almost every class in Baruch. This is the first thing I realized when I saw the syllabus, because writing is always been my weakness. Another difference is that there is more time to manage by myself. I only have four days school and two of them are 2:30PM to 5:30PM, so I’m trying to find a part-time job to spend the extra time. After all, college means growing up.

To be honest, I don’t want to grow up. Childhood is fun and careless, but the responsibility increases as you become older. There are many things to worried for now which are handled by your parents when you are young. After this first year of college, I think the crucial change of my life is becoming more responsible, self-disciplined and self-conscious. During my past 18 years, my life is mostly arranged by my parents, so I don’t have to worry that much. After the experience in college, responsibility is going to be the most important thing I learned. Lack of self-discipline is my defect. I couldn’t go to bed before 2 o’clock during the weekend and always wait for the last minute to do my work. I think the environment of college could change my defect because I need to be self-disciplined in order to be success. In truth, I don’t have a specific goal in my life, so life is aimless to me. Education is not only about learning skills but also is a way to be self-conscious. This is the reason I think education is necessary to people, and maybe I can find my own goal after freshman year.

Even though this is only the first month of the freshman year, I know college is not like High School. I hope after this year is over, I could say “I’ve done my best during this year.”