Author Archives: ran.tokman

I went to the Rubin Museum of Art this weekend, and I had an unexpectedly very good time. We had a pleasant and knowledgeable tour guide, who made the experience so interesting. According to the New York Times, the Rubin Museum of Art is “America’s largest, boldest, and most significant museum devoted to Tibetan and other Himalayan art.” It showcases the art of the Himalayas and the surrounding areas, which portrays mainly the different streams of Buddhism.

Unlike modern western art, it is unlikely to have different interpretations of Himalayan art. Many people in the Himalayan regions were “simple” people, who did not know how to read or write. Therefore, the Himalayan art, whether it’s a painting, sculpture, ritual objects, or prints, was used to visually instruct people on how to follow the teachings of Buddhism. All of the art that was shown to us on the exhibition, were portrayals of different deities. There were many aspects in the tour that I found fascinating, and I will present a few.

As a secular Jew, that does not really believe in God or a higher being, it is very easy for me to connect or understand the logic behind Buddhism. But for a lot of other people on the tour, most of them much older than me, it was not as easy. In Buddhism, there are no gods to be worshiped, or any outside forces of good and evil that pull us to either side. “God” is not a higher power, yet every person’s potential of reaching enlightenment. A person’s life journey is not to please a higher power, but to try and better himself each and every day, in hopes of one day reaching enlightenment. This journey may take many life times, and you will be reincarnated until you finish it.

Many of the deities are portrayed in a very demonic way, holding different weapons, and surrounded objects that represent death. Since there is no good or evil, heaven or hell, these deities are not evil demons that should be feared. They are guides in your journey to enlightenment, and you are able to ask for their assistance. The more demonic looking the deity is, the stronger it is, and the more helpful it will be in defeating your “mind poisons”, or mind blocks that restrain you from bettering your self. The “mind poisons” are usually due to one’s ego, ignorance and attachment to things.

Another thing I found interesting, is that in contrast to Western art, the older Himalayan art does not use specific facial bone structures when trying to portray different beings. This causes all of the Buddhas and deities to look almost the same. The way to distinguish them from one another is by looking at their sitting and hand poses. Each deity has it’s own unique and recognizable pose. According to the tour guide, one explanation to this, is that the people in the Himalayan regions believed that a “beautiful person” is a person between that ages of 15-18, so a lot of the Buddhas and deities have young looking faces and bodies. Overall it was a very interesting experience, it is always nice to learn about cultures and beliefs that you are not usually exposed to.

“How do I identify myself?” To answer this question, and the ones ahead, I’ll have to tell a little background story. A year and a half ago, while all of my friends were going on their “after army trips” to South America, South East Asia, Europe etc., I went to volunteer in a non-profit yoga retreat center, located on the Big Island of Hawaii, called “Kalani Oceanside Retreat”. I initially went for only a month, just to check it out, and I ended up staying for almost a year. The Big Island in general, is known for its healing energies, having Pele, the goddess of the volcano protecting and guiding people towards their true path, by using “tough love”. “Kalani Oceanside Retreat”, means “heaven on earth”, and for more than 35 years, people from all over the world have been going there, to relax and heal the body and mind.  It was there, that I went through what some might call a spiritual journey, but I say I went through a period of self-exploration. I can talk about my attributes, my flaws and insecurities. But none of them really matter. I believe the most important thing is that I’m a person who strives to better himself each and every day.

I’ve learned that what makes me happy, and what I believe would make anyone happy, is being surrounded by love. Unconditional love. It may come from a partner, friends, family, or all of the above (hopefully). It’s what makes my days so much more meaningful. It was in Hawaii, that I accepted the roles that I play in my life, instead of trying to change them. I am a caretaker, a friend, a listener, a competent worker, and sometimes as many of us are, my own worst enemy. It was also in Hawaii, where the next story took place.

For a volunteer event, we set up an improvised and spontaneous fashion show, called the “Freebox Fashion Show”. The Freebox, is an area in the volunteer lounge where people “donate” their clothes and belongings to other volunteers. This was where most of the volunteers did their “shopping in the jungle”. So, the point of the fashion show, was to make an outfit out of whatever you find in the Freebox. It didn’t take too long, but my friends convinced me to dress up like one of my bosses did a few times, he’s an amazing yet very unique person. This entailed wearing a 3- inchheel, “S&M like” leather boots, a mini-skirt and a torn up shirt. I walked out on the walkway, trying to “work it”, feeling completely exposed and embarrassed, but after a few deep breathes, it was just a fun night.

The picture I attached was taken on the west side of the Big Island near Kona. Many people take fossilized corals and make use them to make words on the black lava rocks. We saw this while we were driving, and we could all completely relate to that saying, because of the environment we all lived in at the time.

Who am I…..what a great question. It’s a question I’ve been asking myself since high school. It was not until the army, and afterwards my volunteer experience in Hawaii that I started to get a since of who I was. The army taught me self worth and perseverance, and Hawaii, oh Hawaii, has been the most influential and self-exploratory journey I have allowed myself to take in my entire life. So……after 5 years of learning more about myself and pushing my boundaries, who am I? To be honest, I’m still exploring and learning, but this is what I can say as of now.

My name is Ran Tokman, I am 23, born and raised in Israel. I had an amazing childhood, born into a loving and supporting family. I had the privilege of traveling and seeing the world from a very early age. I got to learn and experience different cultures, cuisine and landscapes. I was always surrounded by love, either from family or my wonderful friends. Despite all of this, at a later age, I felt that something was missing, a part of me that was not whole. I felt alienated from everybody, different, as if I don’t belong. Of course this was not the case, but my inner battle and confusion about my sexuality took its toll. It was not until Hawaii, meeting wonderful people from all over the world, in an amazingly accepting and open environment, that I really got a sense of who I am. I am a kind, caring, loving, competent and intelligent human being. I am not ashamed of this.

I have been looking forward to starting school, for the past few months. It is nice to have a structured life again, learning new things, being intellectually stimulated, and most importantly, being a part of something again. This time, being a Baruch College community member. It’s very important for me, to build up my academic knowledge and skills. I am going to be 29 when I finish my undergraduate, and I am truly ready to begin my career, wherever it will be.

I am pleasantly surprised how hugely diverse this school is. I hear so many languages, while walking through the halls of the schools, so many races and cultures. I’m excited to be involved in some of the many clubs Baruch has to offer. I’ve tried a few, and there are a few more on my list. It is unfortunate that the meetings take place only once a week, at the same time, so it is hard to try other clubs. This is going to be an exciting year, academically and socially. The life in the big city begins.