Author Archives: travis.knight

I was never the biggest, or the strongest, but I loved the game. I remember, as a kid that was all me and my friends wouuld do. Literally until we couldnt see the ball anymore in the dark. One morning when i was 13, we were playing at a park near my house. It was cold, the dirt was hardened and the ball stung our hands with each reception. It was fourth down and  a long way to go. Ryan imitated Peyton Manning as he yelled HIKE and dropped back to pass. I ran a post route, made my cut, I was wide open. I made the catch with ease. Then I looked up, one man to beat, it was Danny. He was always picked first, he was fast, and strong, and he was heading right at me. I charged full steam ahead, “I got this, I’ll duck right through him.” Unfortuantely, I tripped up and fell straight foreward. The pop was so loud my ear was ringing, his knee had dislocated my shoulder and I was stunned. I sat there shaking, white from fear, in total shock, the pain was immense. I didn’t say a word until the ambulence got there. The EMTs popped my shoulder back with a dirty trick, they pretended they would do it on the count of three. On “two” they wrenched it back into place, i thought i would put my fingers straight through my palm from the fist i was making.  After a few tense minutes of silence on our way to St. Vincent’s Hospital I opened my mouth to speak for the first time since the POP, and I asked, “when can i play again?’

How does one go about answering such an abstract question? Should I talk about my appearance? My favorite things?  My goals? Fears? The truth is that I’m not sure how to answer this because the truth is i’m not sure who I am yet. I’m a work in progress, constantly changing, learning, and adapting. I am an American, born into a loving family. I am proud of my English bloodline. I would like to be a bit taller. I enjoy many different things like sports and stand-up comedy.

To delve a little deeper into who I am as a person I shall start with my beliefs.  I am agnostic. This means that I am not commited to any religion because I am not willing to blindly accept the teachings of strangers. To be completely honest, I border on Anti-religion. If there even was a god, or higher power, why would he/she/it let people slaughter each other because of their slightly differing interpretations of it? It makes no sense to me.

Another of my core beliefs is that fear is the reason for most things. Fear can make anything with a conscience do, or not do, anything. For example, I went to college fearing that if I chose not to, I would not be successful. I drink alcohol because I fear that I am too boring when I am sober. I want to get married and have children, because I fear lonliness. Fear may not be the absolute reason for everything in human behavior, but it certainly does play one of the largest roles.

To conclude this post about myself I would like to re-cap. I am an 18 year old Baruch Student; who enjoys typical teenage things. I am a proud english-american, and I am a man of principal. And i’d like it if I was taller.