Author Archives: zhuoxin.pan

     As I look back, I think my experience at Baruch has almost lived up with my expectations. Before I stepped into college, I heard some friends said that college was not easy. Thus, I don’t have a very high expectation for myself, in terms of grade. For the first semester, I just expect myself to get used to the college environment. Throughout the semester, I think I have met my expectations. I make some new friends and have pretty good time with them at Baruch. I also feel familiar with our campuses. At least I know the main structure of the campuses. If I have some questions or problems, I also know some departments that I can go for help, such as the STARR Career Development Center can help me create my resume and help me to develop my future career. If I need help for registering classes, I can walk in the Center for Academic Advisement. Overall, I feel comfortable with the Baruch environment now. It’s not a strange place for me anymore. I get used to my college environment. That’s enough for my first semester.

     At the beginning of this semester, I felt time went extremely slow. First of all, classes at Baruch are longer than classes at high school in general. That makes me feel that class is never end. Second, everything was new so that I couldn’t find any enjoyment, thus, I felt very hard at the beginning of the semester. It seemed a long journey for me. However, college life is in a high pace. I got lots of reading and assignments to deal with. As I stick with them, I felt this semester went very fast. Now, I almost walk to the end of the semester. I may need to catch up with the pace and enjoy the rest of the time of my first semester at Baruch.

     If I can start my first semester again, I definitely will try to enjoy it more. I think I was over nervous at the first couple months of the semester. May be the environment is strange for me, or the classes are too hard. I felt too nervous about anything at Baruch. As a result, I gave up some time to enjoy the college. If I can start over again, I will go to join a club or use the gym at some times during the club hours instead of sitting in the library to torture myself. Alright, I will try to involve more next semester.

     Have I changed since I started at Baruch? Definitely! As I start at Baruch, I need to stick with MTA every day. I need to log in to the MTA home page routinely to check the trains’ status. Before, I only took train if I wanted to go out during the weekends. Academically, I also have changed. Specifically, I have improved my reading and writing skills as well as my time management skill. They all change me positively.

     Heraclitus says “Nothing is permanent except change.”  I believe this quote exactly defines my personal theme. Yes, everything is changing. One second ago, millions of old cells were got replaced inside my body. One minute ago, I was still on 23^rd   Street but I am inside the Newman Vertical campus now. One hour ago, I was at home and sitting in front of my desktop, but I am in my philosophy class now. One year ago, I was still a high school student, but I am in college now.

     Life is changing all the time. I used to have a relaxing high school life, not much pressure, without tons of reading and writing, low pacing, and easy grading. However, it can’t last forever. Now, my school life just shifts to a totally opposite side. I face lots of challenges in my college now. There is a ton of reading material for each class. The amount of reading I do in a week is like what I did in a year in my high school time. I need to devote lots of time into my school work now. I can’t catch up with such a fast pace. I am tired. Surly, I will get used to it as time goes by. But then I will be placed into a new environment, take a new role again. At the time I feel comfortable with my college life or even love it, graduation may not far from me. Then, I may struggle with my graduate school or struggle in looking for a job.

      That’s also what I am afraid of.  Changing makes unstable. Because I don’t know what is next, where the destination is. As I get closer or get used to something, it won’t last for a while. I may love and get used to my philosophy class in some days, but at the moment I love it, I may be writing my final paper and ready to say good bye to my professor. Then, we will register for lots of brand new class and struggle with them again. Life is going too fast and changing so often. More precise, it changes all the time. I am afraid of it. What I enjoy it’s what I borrow but not what I own. I can’t stay at the same spot forever, no matter how much I like it. Time keeps taking away my old stuffs and giving me the news. Maybe I need to keep growing my mind at the same time.

     Change is ahead. Don’t dream about my childhood, my secondary school life, or whatever happened in the past. Maybe I need to cherish what I have now and get ready to what is coming soon.

     Who do I think I am? In general, I am just one of the freshmen in Baruch College. I live in Brooklyn. Like many students in Baruch, I am also a Chinese immigrant, who is not fluent in English. Compare with my people in Baruch, I think the major I plan to take can make me special. After several weeks of college, I find out that many people want to major in accounting. I used to have a plan for accounting as well. However, people can be influenced by others. As I took economic in my high school senior year, I am deeply interested in this subject. Therefore, I will extend to study it in Baruch. May be my major can make my identity.

     Before you adapt yourself into a new environment, you definitely would have some kinds of concerns. Mostly, concerns are caused by strangeness. Baruch’s community is still strange for me. I don’t know how many departments it has, how can I get help from school, and I can I have fun at school. Because everything is unknown for me, I feel kind of lost. Hopefully, after the first semester, I can remove this concern from my mind. The second concern is how to make a balance for college. In high school, we just need to go to school and listen to the teachers. However, we need to figure out almost everything by ourselves now. When should we study? How much time do we need to spend? How to make a balance between schoolwork and other personal work, such as part-time job, friendship, etc.  I am afraid that I can’t make a right balance and will face a bad consequence as a result. As a student, who does not care about his grade? My third concern is about my grade. I heard many people said that it’s hard to get an A in college, since C means average. Therefore, I concerns that I may end up with C grade in most class. Moreover, I don’t really know how I can get good grade in college. Everything is just unknown. In high school, you just need to follow the teachers. Then you will be fine. However, college is different. You need to work in your own way even you don’t know what is the right track.

     My first year in college may help me to make a transition into adulthood, which means I need to grow up my self-responsibility and independence. Hopefully, it can change my positively and make me better off in the next three years.