Monthly Archives: October 2011

What I think about myself never seems to stick to one characteristic.  You can say I’m weird but I’m proud of that. Being “normal” feels so plain and boring in a sense that I would rather be spontaneous, loud, and carefree. This is completely different to how I was maybe 2 years ago. Back then, you would probably know me as the girl in the class that never says a word, or the girl that keeps to herself on the subway, but in general the tiny little Asian girl in the back. On the other hand, now I might still be the girl in the class that never says a word here and there, my voice is heard, I am super loud on the subway with laughing and talking. In general nowadays I’m the tiny little Asian girl that laughs a lot.

In a way I was always an upbeat hyperactive girl, but it used to be only to the people that I’ve known and grown comfortable with after a while. Over time, I have been able to be that with more and more people and even people I haven’t met before in my life as an icebreaker. I guess I have grown to be more open and though I may come off to people I first meet, as a bit strange I feel like I can be remembered as such instead of something worse. I’m very random; I have short attention spans on some occasions. I could be telling a story and if a cute dog or squirrel passes by or something behind the person I’m talking to happens my attention would go of immediately. I really like shiny things and heart shaped stuff too! As you can tell my attention span while writing this monologue is going off a little as well. What else is there to mention? i like to cook/bake, play sports, draw, explore, get lost, anything. I am definitely accident prone, a ball magnet, clumsy, etc. I seem to get hurt every single day; could be major or a little bump but at least once a day. Whenever there is a ball tossed around anywhere near me, even if I am in a group of people, that ball will find its way to hit me. I was hit by a football, volleyball, handball, soccer ball, and a snowball. Probably the only ball that has not yet hit me is a baseball, let’s hope not. I guess to conclude it all is that i’ a girl that just like to have fun, be random, be crazy, be silly but also know to be serious, be considerate of others but definitely to have fun!

Scenario: Your professor gave you a B- but your personal records reflect an A.

Email:

Hi Professor Smith,

I have a question about my grade in your class. Some of the grades that you have on Blackboard don’t match the grades that are written on my assignments. Can we set up a time to go over the assignments? I have a break from 12:00 – 2:00 Monday through Thursday.

Best,
Michael Li
Eng. 2150 MW

My desire to pursue the clarinet has many sources. It ranges from my love for the instrument’s round, dark tone, to an interest in music history. It’s drawn from the gratification I get after finally nailing an impossible scale and from the feeling of pressing those silver keys down in perfect combination and time. If not for certain constraints, I would play my clarinet everyday. One hour each for individual practice, orchestra rehearsal, and jazz band rehearsal. I would have a concert every month and my ensembles would perform at state-of-the-art venues such as Avery Fischer Hall and Jazz at Lincoln Center. If I possessed the talent, I would be both a respected ensemble musician and featured soloist. If I had the time, I would study music theory and history, until I could compose or arrange music with ease. And with both talent and time, I would pour over chord progressions and harmonies and recordings until I could improvise like John Coltrane, Benny Goodman and countless others.

However I am a student and the son of an immigrant, single mother and these roles severely limit my musical pursuits. My time is consumed by writing papers, not practicing etudes; my money is eaten up by textbooks, not sheet music; my responsibilities are to my family and not just to myself. Having relied on my mom for everything these past eighteen years, I need to pursue something that will lead to sustainable, financial independence. This is a condition that I have placed upon myself and unfortunately I’m nowhere near good enough for the clarinet to make me any real money. Pursuing music would also limit the development of my academic interests, on which I place a high value. I would never learn how to analyze Hemingway’s writing in a practice room or begin to understand derivates trading by playing the Mozart Clarinet Concerto. For me, subjects such as literature and business have much broader scopes than the clarinet does. They relate to the entire human condition, whereas jazz and classical music are limited to a select group. And the education that I would be losing out on as a music student, far exceeds that of which I would gain.

This leaves me in the same place as I started: a college freshman planning to major in business. Every day I’ll read and think and write about systems of government, political theorists and economic principles – topics that have nothing to do with music. But jazz and classical music and the clarinet will still be with me. On my commute to school every day, I’ll have seventy minutes on the 6 train to put on my ipod and study Gillespie’s solos, Ella’s phrasing, and Goodman’s technique. Then on weekends I can pull out my instrument and attempt to imitate what I have been listening to on the train. And although I won’t have my clarinet with me when I go to class the next Monday, I will still know that I am a musician.

“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player/That struts and frets his hour upon the stage/And then is heard no more; it is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,/Signifying nothing.” (Shakespeare, Macbeth)

What is the meaning of life? There is no answer. That is to say, there is no one answer. My answer to “what is the meaning of life?” is to find it; that every person on this Earth spends their lifetime finding the answer that had already been with them their entire life. Goals, ambitions, dreams, these do not define a meaning. To truly find the meaning is to achieve a mastery of nature and science, to understand the world in the way one envisions it. Nearing seven billion people, every individual is forged in the line of fire called life. Time is as continuous as it is infinite. Every waking second of every waking minute, decisions are made that influence the road of life. Arduous as it is, the journey is made nonetheless, and no complaints can be made. Ultimately, I stand at eternal crossroads, indecisive of my path. I weigh both options and never decide, choosing where the wind takes me. Although, it is plausible to say that that itself is a decision. Times change and decisions are made, but I never progress. I stand and watch as my influence guided others down their own paths until I could no longer see them on the horizon. I am the sagacious advisor who plans and coordinates, but never acts. I stand at the crossroads of life and shepherd those who walk with a wavering stride. I stand unable to part my sea of thoughts in order to proceed to salvation. Immersed in thinking forever, condemned, but safe. I have not found my meaning of life, and I doubt I ever will, but to know that I have helped others to their meaning will suffice.

Community service is a great thing to do. It doesn’t take much out of the volunteers but what they do to help or give means a lot to those who aren’t as capable for any reason. I’ve done a few volunteer events on my own and I also did some volunteering for a club back to highschool for key club. We would go to walks, like the annual aids walk in central park, and other walks such as Arthritis Foundation Walk and the Jingle Bell walk. Just walking with some friends and meeting some people was fun to do. Also while I was rushing for a fraternity, we had a philanthropy event, called “Meals on Heels,” where we would deliver food to the elderly whom were unable to go out to get their own food. I felt good about helping people and it was a good experience.

Community service is key for a society to function properly. However, there arises a problem of people serving the community for a recommendation or to make money in the future; that wouldn’t be community service, but self service. We have to learn to work together and realize that my welfare is based on yours, regardless of whether or not I see a benefit for myself. I am excited about what we can do to better the lives of people and in turn make a difference and am hoping to do some real community service with you guys :).

I think community service is a wonderful way for people to contribute to the less fortunate. Helping the community through cleaning parks, planting trees, and donations, is generally said to bring a sense of purpose to many people. I was told that community service also looks good on resumes. Although in high school I was told I was required to do at least 55 hours of community service to graduate, I didn’t attempt to do any myself.

The club fair was quite boring with nothing in particular of interest. The highlight of the event was eating the chocolate shaped camera, given out by the photography club and meeting a few classmates from high school. I will continue to look for a club or fraternity that interests me.

I’m on the fence about community service. I’ve never really participated in it myself, so I’m only making assumptions here. I feel that community service only has an effect in the short term, and not the long term. However, I guess it does good to one’s self esteem to know that his or her actions have eased the turmoil of someone somewhere. I’m cynical myself, so I believe that community service is a means of inflating one’s ego. However, it is better than complaining about the homeless population and not doing anything about it. Cancer walks, soup kitchens, and other things like that feel useless as the cure or better treatment of cancer hasn’t really been discovered after so much effort from so many people, and perhaps there are more homeless people than ever before.

I feel like at least one time in everyone’s life one should take part in some sort community service. I hear some of my friends not want to take part in walks or volunteering because they don’t have the time. But really most of the time, helping out could be done but that free time is taken up by hanging out, playing games or elsewhere. I might not be the most active person doing community service but I have contributed some of my time here and there. Around my sophomore and junior year, I joined my friends who were in our school’s key club to the breast cancer walk for both years. It was pretty fun to just walk with my friends through central park in addition to overall helping with the cause. It may not be a soup kitchen kind of help but I have volunteered at a tutoring place near my house for kids ages 5-13. Also with my dance crew, we would dance anywhere there could be a big group of people and just be silly to make someone’s day better. One time especially though, we went to a senior center to just put on a mini show just for the fun of it not really expecting anything in return. It was more practice for us and entertaining for everyone else.