It all starts at five am. My cell phone begins with its buzz buzz buzz off the side of my bed. In total darkness I feel all around on the floor making even more of a mess in my room before I can find it. Once i turn off that stupid alarm, Its time to shower. I take this shower time to ponder my thoughts such as “why on earth am I taking an 8:15 am class?”. Thats the most popular one, along with why is it so dark out?
You’d think that being a freshman in college, I’d be a lot more concerned with my grades and time management. Not me. The commute from long island. That’s what stresses me out the most.
For some people they can just roll out of bed, hop on a subway and be at school in like twenty minutes. I have to wake up at the crack of dawn, and make sure I have every single thing I need for the day. It’s so frustrating. Not only am I operating on less than five hours of sleep, but I also need to think clearly. It’s not that easy.
I become paranoid that I am going to forget a paper, a folder or a water bottle. I hate paying three bucks for water. It’s ridiculous. Once I load my life into my bag, I trek off to the LIRR. Normally the train isn’t that big of a deal, but a peak 6:30 train just sucks. It’s filled with business men and construction workers who just stare at you and try to figure out why some 18 year old is riding “their” train.
As the train rolls through each station, I doze in and out of consciousness with each unnecessary announcement the speakers make in an all too perfect tone. ” bing bong, this is the train to penn station, this station is lindenhurst, the next station is copiague,”
I wish I could just fall into a deep enough sleep but I have this weird fear of people watching me while I sleep. I mean, when people sprawl out across the seats with their mouths open while snoring, you cant help but judge them. That’s exactly what I don’t want people doing to me. Who knows what I look like when I sleep. I sure don’t.
If I was just some kid who didn’t care about their future, I would have quit after the first day. But, I’m not. I have such a determination within me. People everywhere keep talking about the recession, and the lack of jobs but I want to prove them wrong. I want to show that if you are a hard worker and push yourself, you can make your own future, that isn’t defined by anyone or anything. That’s my goal.
So I’ll put up with that stupid alarm, the dark shower, the sleepless train rides and whatever else frustrates me because I am going to have a bright future.
