Dear Peer-Review Group,
To summarize the themes of Professor Graves’ feedback, he told me that I should work on having a “single essay”. A problem I had was connecting all the chapters of my essays and explaining why I organized my essay this way or why I decided to write about this as a topic. He also said how I need to “sharpen [my] objective argument in [my] analysis”. I needed to make a clearer comment on my thesis and be objective about it. For example, I would run off about Zara and give praise when I shouldn’t have. Based off my feedback from peers and Professor Graves, I learned that in my writing process I still need to work on having an objective and analytical tone in my writing. Moving forward, I know that I ramble on and on about irrelevant information sometimes and get a little too casual in my writing so I know I should work on that when planning my writing process.
I learned a lot about Zara and fast fashion. I thought that Zara was a UK brand in the beginning and it actually originated in Spain; how did I not know that when it was my favorite brand (opps moment… haha)? I learned how many fast fashion brands there were and how many we see in every day life. I realized how influenced everyone is without realizing it and it was interesting to research how our personalities fit into the clothing that we wear. If I had to continue this paper I would talk about the psychology of the prejudgments we have on fashion and why we like certain things over others. My final plans for this paper is to create a clearer abstract, correct grammar and formatting, and edit my research portion of the paper because I don’t think I made any sense in some parts according to my peers.
I would like to thank you all for helping me think of questions to answer in my writings. I know that was a big struggle for me to continue writing and making it relevant to my thesis. I also want to thank you all for baring with the different fonts i used that might’ve hurt your eyes when you read. Thank you for also being very honest when it came to the peer-review sessions. When you guys gave me comments, they were agreed upon all of you so it helped me see that I needed to work on what you all agreed on, it gave me a focus. You all helped me learn that when I had to explain to all of you why I said this or that, made me realize that I would mention things without explaining its relevance in my writing. I wish for all of you to grow as writers as I see the potential in you guys. Keep asking for help from your other peers in the future and I hope that we all stay in touch. If y’all are ever in a pickle and need help with a paper, I hope you guys know I’m still around!
Sincerely,
Anny Sam
Hey Anny,
I just want to first point out that your “rambling” can be turned into useful information; so, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Next, I think adding the part about the psychology of the prejudgements we have about fashion would fit perfectly into your paper. Lastly, if you ever need someone to read your paper for you and offer advice, just ask in our facebook chat.
I learned a lot from reading your work. It was very informative and I learned things about Zara and fast fashion that I never knew about. I hated that your drafts were very long and that I had to read so much, but it was well informative and worth the read.
Anny I hope our comments and review helped you get over that obstacle you faced in your writing. I always took your advice and applied it to my paper. I know that if I’m ever having trouble writing a paper I can contact you. Stay in touch, I’m always here to help you.